How interested are your parents and inlaws in your DC?

[TigerPandas]

How interested are you parents and inlaws in your DC. We have one son who is 18 months old. My mum loves spending time with him and wants to visit and see him as much as possible (she lives an hour drive away and visits every 2 weeks, stays the whole day and sometimes overnight. She would visit every weekend if possible). Dh's mum isn't that interested, she doesn't visit often and doesn't stay too long. My DH said last night "I thought my mum would be more interested in our son". I feel bad for him.

My parents and my MIL are very interested in my kids. We're very lucky. My parents do the school pick up and look after them until I finish work and my MIL has our youngest every Saturday evening. All 3 of them are taking both kids abroad next week so me and my husband can have our first ever holiday alone.

PILs are dead, never knew our children or me.

My mother was a wonderful grandmother, very hands on in a helpful way. Adores both my dcs and my dh. Older now with health issues so roles have switched, I help her, my kids help her and do visits. We have a close bond now but I had a horrendous childhood, lets say she's a much better gran than she was a mother.

My father, well he was never around much growing up, they divorced and my mother fell apart so I supported her. My father never forgave me for doing that even though it was natural as she had supported me with the kids from day one. Never bothered with birthdays for me or my kids, did for my sibling and their children. Remarried and now has step-grandkids who via the odd look on facebook he seemingly adores spending time with.

He rang me once to berate me for being a terrible daughter, I laughed at him and told him he'd been an awful father who made zero effort so why should I do all the running.

It used to hurt that he didn't bother about my kids but I know 100% mine are better off away from him and his narc tendencies.

Mine haven't missed out on a grandfather, they had wonderful great grandparents who doted on them, my BIL loves the bones of them and they him and they get on with their cousins on dh's side.

My father can reap what he sowed.

Very interested. Almost too much.
I know we are lucky however.

My mum was simply on Cloud 9 to be a nana the best thing to happen to her since my brother and myself were born and was a bloody good Nana. Sadly for nowhere near as long as she should have been, as she would have enriched my DS loves to no end.

My brother doesn't have kids and doesn't want any. He would do anything for my DS but doesn't quite know how to interact with him yet, but once he is fully talking, they will bond a a lot better, he will be a fabulous uncle.

My father is so happy with our DS and it seems increasingly more so as he grows and develops . Now he is walking and chatting a bit (like a real little human 😃) he is just absolutely besotted !!! He is the 1st grandchild to him, he comes over at least once a week and Skype a couple of times a week.

My in laws are the same, our DS is the 5th for them but with quite a big gap, but he is completely doted on and they constantly tell me how grateful they are to have him. I take him to see them once a week with the occasional more.

I think he is very lucky to have them all.

She would have enriched DS life no end ... Not love

My mum is really involved, talks to them everyday has them over etc. MIL is the type who wants them on her terms to show off to her friends. She even goes Christmas Day without calling to say hello to them never mind birthdays.

It’s causes major issues with our relationship. I won’t let someone dip in and out of their lives when they feel like it yet expect to be treated like the best granny in the world.

DM very interested but lives three hour drive away (and can be very overbearing and clingy due to MH condition).

MIL adores her and is giving up work to do full time childcare for us. Lives in our village.

FIL very hands off as is old fashioned, but adores her too.

What amazes me is DF; he was working 90 hour corporate weeks when we were growing up so only hands on when on family holidays. Now retired he’s amazing with DD; lives next door and looks after her whenever we need it (so long as it doesn’t clash with his many skiing/cycling/golf holidays 😂). Does the whole bath and bedtime routine all by himself, which I don’t think he ever did once for any of the four of us!

Very interested - even though this is their 7th grandchild. Unfortunately we live closer than all other other gc so they want to be round all the time.

I think like @IrmaFayLear said with the PiL coming as a pair, you have to entertain rather than hang out. Where as with my mum, it's just us hanging out and shopping.

My mother was disinterested in my 4. Adored my niece I suspect it was to do w niece being in the same country as her. My stepdad was more even in how his interest was but closer to niece (understandable)

My dad interested equally in his 5 grandchildren and asks questions and remembers special occasions.

FIL Adored all his grandchildren and used to come up with crazy excuses to come and visit (I used to say to dh why doesnt he just say I want to visit my grandaughter)

MIL Engaged interested and adored all her 8 grandchildren... (I miss her) speaking with the kids the other day they brought up her special juice (it was Lidl multi juice with sparkling water) and how amazing it tasted but oddly it doesnt taste as good anywhere else but in her house..

I did used to get upset over my mothers disinterest however MIL made up for it and I used to console myself by the fact that they had a loving and engaged grandmother in their lives.

My mother not very - liked babies to cuddle that stopped at 6 months, small kids annoying, liking them more now they are teens. Dh's mum not very but spends more time with them - never ever excited to see them on apart from when they were newborns.

Both sets of Grandparents aren't very interesting in my DC.
One set live 300 miles away and send cards and postal orders for Xmas, Easter and Birthdays.
Other set live 20 minutes away and never phone to speak to them and don't ask about them generally e.g how are they getting on at school etc
They buy them a Xmas present and Birthday present and that's about it. Don't take them out anywhere for the day or have them overnight at all

My DPs love DS and spend loads of time with him. In laws, less so, which I wouldn't mind so much, but they show a lot more interest in their other DGC. I get on fine with them, no issues there, as does DH. It's a mystery to me.

I'am absolutely fascinated with everyone's responses, my parents are hands on grandparents with all their grandchildren and admit that they give them a reason to get up in the morning, always happy to help all of them and treat them all equally which can be difficult as their eldest grandson is arrogant and likes to mock them, as for my in laws.... where do I begin..... well shall we say, I wish my husband had his sisters mum..... she is an absent mum/grandma to him and our children yet the perfect parent/grandparent to his sister and her children to be fair she treats them all equally financially (I think) but not emotionally, I would say that we have the last laugh though as the favoured child is a nightmare and constantly lets her down, dresses and behaves inappropriately. My MiL is quite prim and proper, likes us to send her details of our kids successes but doesn't invest any time with them, as for my father in law, he can't even remember their names. I genuinely feel that it is their loss as they don't get to share in their sons/grandsons successes.