To start a thread for the sleep deprived parents?

[Ifeelbloodyawful]

That's just for supporting one another and is a place to offload about how truly shit sleep deprivation is?

Not a thread for being told to try this/do that/CIO/read this book/try a dummy/try formula/my babies have all slept beautifully since X old (), etc?

Sometimes I don't want "solutions", I just want understanding. Just want a place to be understood, consoled, have a moan, and to remind each other that "this too shall pass" (please!) and in the meantime there is coffee...

So is it just me? Currently surviving on 3-4 hours a night, if I am lucky, and I want to give up, but obviously not an option!

Ahhhh...my people. 14 month old here who has basically woken every 1-2 hours since 4 month sleep regression. Things are verrrry slowly improving since she learnt to walk but she still thought 4.30 was an acceptable start to the day yesterday. So guess who is awake at 4am today while she snoozes next to me???

2.5 year old and 6 week old. Baby doesn't nap for more than 20 mins in the day, 3 times.

It's making my toddler even grumpier than usual and at night baby screams and screams until 10:30pm where she'll finally drop off for a little bit and then it starts again. I can't stand the screaming. Its so upsetting, and panics me.

Toddler sleeps well at night luckily but I'm so so so exhausted in the day.

Husband works 10-10 and doesn't really help much. On his days off when he does try and 'help' he gets so stressed himself I just have to take over. I resent him a bit

I really selfishly just want some time on my own. In silence.

Sleep deprivation is horrific. There is literally nothing like the feeling of just wanting to escape but knowing you can't. A bit like labour when you desperately want to undo the pain but don't know how.

My second gave me a delightful month of only sleeping in my arms and being put down occasionally for 40 mins. Damn near nearly killed me off. Made me wish I'd appreciated the good sleep of my first more and slept when she slept. Especially when number 2 would only nap in a sling. My third is 7mo and has been starting her day at 4am for the last 4 months and if she goes back to sleep it's only in my arms. Not too bad in theory but I'm setting a business up which needs to start soon and so not getting to bed until the small hours. In her case she definitely needs to learn to self settle but I don't know how when I have my 2yo with me who won't cooperate.

waves to all in solidarity

My 21 month old does me the pleasure of waking frequently in the night, which wouldn't be too bad but it's the combination with the early wake ups that is the killer. It makes for very very long days plus a whiney, over energetic wild toddler.

Ahh excellent thread! It's not good that anyone is in this situation but yay for solidarity! I hope everyone can get a bit of sleep soon!

I only have one child and he's driving me mad. He's two and a half and still up multiple times a night just for lols. Last night was ridiculous so we ended up bringing him into our bed where he proceeded to wriggle around for two hours until we plopped him back in his own bed at 2.30. I always love the idea of sleeping next to my squishy little boy but the reality doesn't quite meet my expectations. Although he kept cuddling me and touching my face and going "mmmm... Mummy" and "I happy", so obviously I'm still bursting with love.

@sar302 - how did your earlier bedtime work out for you? We didn't go up until almost 10pm last night, which is quite late for us, but DD woke up while I was eating my dinner and then didn't want to go back to sleep (another issue with feeding r to sleep downstairs!).

Annoyingly she then woke at 11pm. That's crap even by her standards.

Next wake-up at 2am (and I think I woke her up by taking my hand off of her bottom, so I could get a drink to soothe my tickly cough as she was sparko when I woke up - she's SUCH a light sleeper) and then 4am.

At 4am I stayed sitting up and dozed. I woke for the day at 6ish but DD stayed sleeping until 7am. If only I could put her down!

Not the worst night and I don't feel too bad.

Although soloing with both children today and DS has recently stopped napping for me (moved into a bed and knows he can get out) so that means zero downtime and all baby naps will have to be in the sling. I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

11 month old who wakes up every 45 minutes on a bad night and every two hours on a ‘good night’. All she wants is boob and cuddles but doesn’t want to let me go ever.
I just tell myself she won’t be small forever and how amazing is it to be this loved.

Coffees all round!

When my baby was about 4 months old I decided to sack off any hopes of sleep and purchased a huge half-litre coffee mug with a photo of a llama on it and it said "no probllama" and I think it actually helped me mentally a little bit. Although didn't help with my caffeine addiction.

Sleep deprivation is torture. It's the hardest thing ever. I really feel for everyone struggling.

🙌🏽
My 4m old is unsettled from about 3am most mornings. And with three others usually up around 6:30 it leaves me broken for the day. Husband is so resentful about breastfeeding he just blames everything on that. - eldest two daughters were ff and text book feeding every 4hrs. Youngest daughter and baby boy are bf. So they feed and sleep when they like 😏
All very well to sleep when they sleep but what about everything else 🙄 when I can get him down for a nap - always put down asleep can never just lay him in the cot and leave him to it - it's a toss up usually between a drink or some tidying. And that's when I can put him down. Usually he's just asleep on me. As he is now

@Ifeelbloodyawful I feel a bit of a fraud on this thread other people are having a much harder time than me! We are thankfully well out of the newborn sleep stage though, So that does make a difference - although I can remember what it was like with horrific clarity!

My plan actually worked! Instead of 4am, he was up at 5.30am, which I'm counting as a huge success. First time in a month I think that we haven't seen 4 something on the clock. If he naps properly at lunch, I think I might go and buy a lottery ticket 😄

to everyone who is keeping on, keeping on

CaptainDamaged I know just what you mean. I'm torn between being delighted that my son needs me so much as we obviously have that bond, and feeling totally overwhelmed.

DS almost 8 months old.
I swear he must be doing it on purpose. I can picture him thinking,
' Right, i am gonna sleep for 5 solid hours for the next 2-3 days and raise up their hopes that things are improving and then BAM i will start waking up every 1-2 hours screaming. YES, screaming! Muawhahaha'.
Those 2-3 days of 4-5 solid hours happen maybe every month or so, then it's hell all over again. He is giving us a bit of sleep since he still needs someone to feed him and change his shitty nappies. He can't afford to break us completely, can he?!

Today at 2am i asked DH where is baby's switch. I need to switch him off and get some sleep. 😂

he is currently watching kid's tv, and i feel quite guilty about it, but i am too tired to keep him occupied

From a baby he never slept, and at 11 months now, he's still waking every 1.5 hours!! And now doesn't nap during the day too! Never ever have I wanted to loose my mind over crying because he sober tired but won't give in!!
It's the most frustrating moment of my life lately! I wish I could find a way to get a routine and actually sleep like a normal human being!
So tired of people telling me how well their baby sleeps!

How are we all doing ladies?

Not feeling too bad here after another night of only three wake-ups. But the night before I couldn't put DD down for love nor money, even snuggled right into me she'd wail as soon as we lay down.

Currently "trapped" under sleeping DD. Contact napper extraordinaire! I am sooooo unproductive these days!!

Oh this is my place. Currently lying on the floor trying to get DS2 to nap.

This is my non working day, having gone back to work last week after a year of mat leave. I'm genuinely terrified I'll fall asleep in a meeting. I'm so tired. So fucking tired.

My tribe! Please can I join? Having walked 4 miles in the pissing rain to no avail, I am now lying in bed with white noise blaring trying to get my 5 month old to nap. I am a husk.

I think my 7 week old is nocturnal

DD & DS both woke up at 12ish earlier. Took DD until 2.10am to go back off, DS settled at 2 in his moses basket and then woke again at 2.50am.

Currently sat feeding him and he appears wide awake. DH doesn’t have a day off until Friday, I don’t know how I am going to cope.

Can you die from sleep deprivation?

I just want my 7 week old to be quiet for an hour so I can have some head space! Gripe water, infacol and even comfort milk isn't calming her. Neither are any of the usual tricks.

My 2.5 year old sleeps 7-7 which is great, the baby however

I'm staying to feel very down and stressed. I just want to be able to hear my own thoughts and have freedom again. I feel so trapped at home

All this happened with my 2.5 year old when she was a baby so I know she'll grow out of it.

I just want her to grow out of it NOW.

I shudder reading this thread, and it brings it all back awful, traumatic, sleep deprived memories from over ten years ago when my son needed me ALL THE TIME, didnt sleep for more than 30 mins at a time for months (reflux), then up 3 or 4 times a night for years, 4.50am starts, feeling half dead, wanting to punch the "oh they sleep from 7pm til 7am" brigade, then the years speed up and suddenly he's 6'1" and i NEVER see him, hes in his room 24/7, wont be seen walking down the street with me, everything you say gets an eye roll, and he sleeps til noon on non school days. Yes the sleep is heaven now, and I would never go back to those days, but cherish those cuddles and the way they NEED you, because soon enough they dont need you at all and its really really hard sniffle.
I'll never forget the time, when mine was a baby (who NEVER slept), I was spilling my heart out about sleep deprivation to my MIL. She was SO unsympathetic, she said "oh yes, i remember that, when they are babies, you feel like youre floating around on a cloud". I just nodded politely, but I wish id said "NO!!!! NO YOU FUCKING DONT!!! YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM SOME HIDEOUS DISEASE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL ILL AND HALF DEAD 24/7!!!!". I was permanently in tears. My friend, who was a "oh they sleep all night" brigader, reallly enjoyed her baby's first year, all I remember is feeling shit and that noone could help and a feeling of not coping.
You lot are AMAZING!!!!!!!!

Sorry about the rant!!!

*sorry, also want to add, its probably coincidence, but those those babies who "slept all night, never a peep out of them" seemed to turn into the less able ones at school whereas my sons always been a bright spark, which i always took as a reward for my years of ZERO SLEEP!!!

Ok, last thing .......pls dont ever blame yourself for any of the struggles when they are a baby, like i did at the time, you will look back on these sleep deprived days and think 'oh my god, im amazing for coping with that'. And you always cherish sleep, even years afterwards, and when they do start sleeping properly you will think just having a few hours sleep is like Christmas every day. You NEVER take it for granted again.. x

I think I give up on any hope of sleeping tonight, my 9 week old DD wakes up around every hour and I've always been terrible at sleeping myself especially getting back to sleep. So now she's asleep and I'm awake and can't get back to sleep no matter what I do which I don't understand with my lack of sleep over the past two months

I'm doing my 4th night feed for my 7 month old. Normally he wakes twice but DH is away so of course for the second night in a row he is wailing down the baby monitor every 90 minutes. I have given up and we are both in the spare bed now.

Had to call in sick to work today as DH was unwell all night and DS (19 months) decided he'd sleep even worse than usual and woke up at 0100 and refused to go back to sleep. We're now downstairs watching Bing.
I feel really guilty for being cross with him in the night as well