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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband Spasming at Night

57 replies

MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:26

Hoping for some advice because I am at my wits’ end over this!

Do you ever get that feeling when you’re drifting off to sleep and then your whole body spasms / jerks and you feel like you’ve been falling?

Multiple times per week, my husband will have nights where this happens over and over and over again. He is somehow sleeping through it (Christ knows how) but it makes the entire bed jump, and it essentially destroys any prospect I have of falling asleep until he’s over it (which can take up to an hour). By the time he stops, I’m so jangled that it takes me ages to fall asleep.

I’ve started sleeping in the spare room when he does this but it’s happening so often that it’s not really a feasible solution, and in any event I don’t sleep that well when I’m in bed on my own anyway.

Is there anything we can try to stop him doing this? He feels awful but he’s totally unaware that he’s doing it. It doesn’t seem to be affected by the position he sleeps in etc, and it hardly seems like a medical issue. It’s just happening so often now that I don’t see how we can keep sharing a bed unless we find a solution!

OP posts:
TapasForTwo · 03/06/2019 06:28

Is he on any medication?

MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:30

No, no medication and generally healthy as a horse. He isn’t overweight, doesn’t smoke, very rarely drinks.

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 03/06/2019 06:30

Is he overweight? Could be sleep apnea.

IMessedUpToday · 03/06/2019 06:31

Mine does this too..it can be particularly vicious at times as an arm or leg will lash out! Seems to go through phases of it happening..at the moment it's ok but no doubt it will start again. Sometimes I have to give him a dig to wake him up to get it to stop it's that bad.

princesstinnedpeach · 03/06/2019 06:34

Mine does this too. I haven't implemented any solutions yet because all the ones I've thought of are illegal.

MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:35

I’ve definitely elbowed mine a few times to wake him up, but it usually just carries on happening when he drifts back to sleep Sad

He feels terrible about it too but since he’s not even aware he’s doing it there isn’t much he can do

OP posts:
MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:36

I haven't implemented any solutions yet because all the ones I've thought of are illegal.

I know exactly how you feel Grin

OP posts:
Holdthedamndoor · 03/06/2019 06:37

I do this.

I have no idea how to stop it or what it is. Gp was no help.

I feel awful for how tired it makes dp. I dont have any advice really. What does make it worse is when I am very exhausted.

paffuto · 03/06/2019 06:38

My dh had this too. Got checked out and it was sleep apnea. Now has a breathing machine called cpac and the spasms/ jerks have stopped completely.

MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:40

That’s interesting paffuto. If you don’t mind me asking, is your husband carrying some extra weight? I had mentally ruled out sleep apnea because my husband is very slim, but it may be worth revisiting as a possibility! He does tend to make a kind of glottal breath sound when it happens which maybe suggests it is something to do with apnea.

OP posts:
paffuto · 03/06/2019 06:42

Yes, a bit of extra weight. Still think it's worth a medical check though.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 03/06/2019 06:42

Do you ever get that feeling when you’re drifting off to sleep and then your whole body spasms / jerks and you feel like you’ve been falling?

It's called a myclonic jerk, I know that much - but not how to 'cure' it, sorry.

Foslady · 03/06/2019 06:43

My do does this and if anything is underweight so less chance of sleep apnea I’d have thought, and only in the early stages of sleep so I’ve put it down to ‘dream’ phase. He does sleep extremely heavily (and drops off very quickly).
Hoping for a practical solution too!

Foslady · 03/06/2019 06:44

Hmmmm.......your husband is slim too? Got me wondering now!

paffuto · 03/06/2019 06:45

He also had the glottal breath sound so seems very similar.

MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:45

Just reading the nhs page on apnea now. He doesn’t have a lot of the risk factors (he’s 30, not overweight, not a smoker or drinker etc) BUT his dad was diagnosed with a deviated septum many years ago and I’ve often thought there must be something a bit wrong with my husband’s nose because he gets an enormous number of nosebleeds. So maybe there is something in it. I’m now re-evaluating my thought that it isn’t worth a GP check up.

OP posts:
sueelleker · 03/06/2019 06:49

He's not having seizures, is he?

paffuto · 03/06/2019 06:49

Yes OP, I think it's worth a check even if only to rule that out.

TapasForTwo · 03/06/2019 06:50

DH has sleep apnoea. His is a medical mystery as he is underweight. He uses a CPAP machine.

DefinitelyCommisery · 03/06/2019 06:51

Slim people can definitely have sleep apnoea. We recently got my dad a CPAP machine but we used an online company that sent a sleep monitor for diagnosis which was then sent back and the doctor confirmed SA and then he went to London and got the CPAP machine. Total cost for machine and monitoring was £1200. Tried to get it via nhs docs but he scored so low on the questionnaire his licence would have been immediately revoked and then he would have had to prove he was fit to drive after using CPAP. It sounded a lengthy process so we went private and he vowed not to drive until consultant said it was safe to do so.

MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:51

He's not having seizures, is he?

I hope not! But I don’t think so. If I give him a poke when it happens he wakes immediately and is compos mentis, and it doesn’t happen at any other time.

OP posts:
MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:53

TapasForTwo and DefinitelyCommisery thank you, that’s really helpful to know.

Sounds like he’s in for a GP appointment!

OP posts:
Happynow001 · 03/06/2019 07:09

Hi OP. If you can, take a video of him when he is spasming so he/you can show the GP (a picture is worth a 1000 words and all that..). Also I'd suggest, as the person who actually sees these "seizures", that you go with your husband to his appointment. People tend to underplay their symptoms and you can give the GP your more detailed viewpoint as you've given it here. Good luck.

OldUnit · 03/06/2019 07:15
Grin
Husband Spasming at Night
Oblomov19 · 03/06/2019 07:19

Interesting. Dh has SA but couldn't get on with the CPAP machine.