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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband Spasming at Night

57 replies

MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 06:26

Hoping for some advice because I am at my wits’ end over this!

Do you ever get that feeling when you’re drifting off to sleep and then your whole body spasms / jerks and you feel like you’ve been falling?

Multiple times per week, my husband will have nights where this happens over and over and over again. He is somehow sleeping through it (Christ knows how) but it makes the entire bed jump, and it essentially destroys any prospect I have of falling asleep until he’s over it (which can take up to an hour). By the time he stops, I’m so jangled that it takes me ages to fall asleep.

I’ve started sleeping in the spare room when he does this but it’s happening so often that it’s not really a feasible solution, and in any event I don’t sleep that well when I’m in bed on my own anyway.

Is there anything we can try to stop him doing this? He feels awful but he’s totally unaware that he’s doing it. It doesn’t seem to be affected by the position he sleeps in etc, and it hardly seems like a medical issue. It’s just happening so often now that I don’t see how we can keep sharing a bed unless we find a solution!

OP posts:
VirginiaWolfHall · 03/06/2019 07:20

Op my dh is the same; he’s slim too. I think we’re going to have to swap our (v expensive and gorgeous) iron bed for a divan because he makes it wobble so much when he twitches. I’ve heard that magnesium can help with restless legs; but try to get chelated stuff that’s easy on the stomach.

Fillypants · 03/06/2019 07:21

Being magnesium deficient can cause myclonic jerking! He now uses a magnesium spray (dermally is the best way to absorb magnesium) every day as has mentioned that he legs feel less 'silly' as he describes it (restless legs at the end of the day) and I've definitely noticed less jumping around in bed! I used to get kicked in the chins too, not fun!

TroysMammy · 03/06/2019 07:22

Restless legs can also affect arms.

Foslady · 03/06/2019 07:23

Think DP might be more featlleg syndrome reading up in it as he doesn’t fitvthe prolfile for SA, but certainly more for restless leg.
Thank you - I’ll try Him on Magnesium

MaryMuir · 03/06/2019 07:24

OldUnit GrinGrinGrin

That’s very interesting about magnesium deficiency! Going to look into that too.

OP posts:
TapasForTwo · 03/06/2019 07:24

Oblomov DH had to try several masks before he found one that was comfortable. Untreated sleep apnoea can have serious consequences. DH has had a silent stroke.

Christmastree43 · 03/06/2019 07:24

That meme 😂

My DP does this too and I absolutely hate it, when it’s very bad I feel like lying there crying!

As PPs have said he seems to go through stages. He is slim, does a lot of exercise. Someone up thread mentioned deviated septum, my partner does have a large nose that was broken twice (football!) and does struggle with his breathing.

It seems to be when he’s falling asleep and then in the early morning, 5am ish, although maybe that’s when my sleep is light and it particularly bothers me. More than once I have just decided to get out of bed and sit in the lounge til it’s time to get up as it’s so disturbing. I find that I’m just lying there waiting nervously for the next jerk so can’t sleep.

Would be so glad to hear any solutions and my sincere sympathies to you all 😭

Foslady · 03/06/2019 07:25

Sorry - let me translate!

Think DP is looking more like restless leg syndrome as doesn’t really fit the symptoms of SA but looks more like restless leg. Thank you - I’ll try Him on magnesium

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 03/06/2019 07:26

Please get him to go to the doctor. I have this and it's related to epilepsy. I don't mean to worry you as I have no medical training Smile and it's most likely nothing sinister anyway but better to be safe than sorry. Plus it must be driving you mad Grin

OldUnit Hmm

Christmastree43 · 03/06/2019 07:28

Am defo going to try magnesium as DP has terrible restless legs particularly if he’s tired or has overdone the sport. Thanks so much for the suggestions.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 03/06/2019 07:30

Two of my children have epilepsy, I would talk to a Dr about it.

Ounce · 03/06/2019 07:31

It's probably Periodic Limb Movement Disorder, which is something slightly different from restless legs.

I know because my OH has it. Currently MNing in the spare room.

paffuto · 03/06/2019 07:32

OldUnit Grin thanks for that, good way to start a Monday morning Grin

Kennehora · 03/06/2019 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KnittingSister · 03/06/2019 07:45

As PP said, film it so you can show gp what happens.

Ounce · 03/06/2019 07:50

Is he under a lot of stress, OP? It's a known trigger for PLMD. Get him to cut out caffeine for a while perhaps.

Spidey66 · 03/06/2019 07:59

It's a myoclonic jerk. I don't think there's much anyone can do about it.

ComeAndDance · 03/06/2019 08:08

Myoclonic jerk was what I thought about too. For me, it’s related to my ME

SisyphusDad · 03/06/2019 08:51

I have this and it's not sleep apnoea - I have that and have used a CPAP for years.

With me I think it's stress. When I go to bed my mind races for 20 or 30 minutes. It then calms down and the spasms start. They last for another 20 minutes or so and then I can sleep. I suspect it is because during the day my brain keeps my muscles 'under control'. Once it has relaxed in bed it let's the muscles go and they shed all the tension.

It's really annoying and I've not found anything to help. I used to meditate but had to give it up because the same thing happened 10 minutes into a session (that's why I mean towards the stress theory). It's not easy to do a full body scan meditation when you're twitching like a puppet on a string!

Mammajay · 03/06/2019 09:00

I have sleep apnoea...diagnosed in 30s when I weighed 8 stone. I do have a thinnish neck. I had frequent early morning headaches and felt tired a lot. The sleep masks now are much better ( still a pain) and the difference they make are huge. My husband noticed I would stop breathing whilst sleeping. Apparently everyone apnoeas a bit but people with sleep apnoea do it longer and more often.

FuckBrussel · 03/06/2019 09:03

It's called a myclonic jerk

I'm sure I went out with one of those once.

chazm84 · 03/06/2019 09:07

Get a really good mattress that isolates movement- my dh does this off and on and a good mattress made a huge difference. Not negating getting it checked tho- always best to be safe.

DingDongDenny · 03/06/2019 09:28

My DH does this as well - It's restless leg with him, One leg jerks downwards and his whole body and the whole bed shakes. It seems to happen at regular intervals of about 2 minutes, so just when you think he has stopped and you are about to drift off to sleep, he does it again

It drives me mad and also tires him out, even though he doesn't know he is doing it, he us tired in the morning

Now if it happens, I sleep in the spare room

HazelBite · 03/06/2019 09:34

I have had these problems but it wakes me up (and DH) the doctor suggested cutting out caffeine, and never to combine alcohol and caffeine during an evening.
It has made a difference to me. The other thing that made it worse was a combination of over tiredness and stress.
Cutting out caffeine however has made the biggest difference, might be worth a try?

Ellapaella · 03/06/2019 09:35

A quick google of Myoclonic jerks shows they are a normal phenomenon but if they start happening very frequently they should be checked out.
Interestingly my dog does this - when she's really sound asleep she does it quite a lot, sometimes it goes on for several seconds.

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