To go to church even if I am an athiest?

[Imicola]

So we moved a couple of years ago, spent lots of time looking for a house then renovating said house, and now have a baby. We don't have any real friends where we live as we didn't really have any time to get out and meet people before baby arrived. DH is keen for us to go to church as it is the only thing locally on a weekend where we can go with a baby and meet other local people. I don't believe in god and generally don't like religion of any type, but I am contemplating going to support DH in this. I'm not sure though if this is a terrible idea...i feel like I wouldn't enjoy the services, but perhaps it would be worth it to meet people. But is it rude of me to go when I don't believe?
Any thoughts? I feel conflicted!

It’s not rude to go but church people don’t seem to Male good friends in my (very limited) experience. They are perfectly normal in real life but when they are with church friends they get really judgy I guess? A lot of gossip etc. I think it may just depend on which church you go to but religious social scenes seem to attract that kind of behaviour at an alarmingly high rate.

It really depends on the church. If you do not believe in God, then a very charismatic church would probably not be the place for you. Church of England or maybe Methodist are fairly low key, which suit me as I like singing old fashioned hymns.
I have not found anyone to be ‘judgy’ at all, and I do not believe in God.
I would check out church activities, such as playgroups, also church fetes, coffee mornings, carol services (at xmas, of course). Many will have other local activities which are not religious but use the church premises.

I’m not a believer but do attend church reasonably regularly for the social contact - I think you can believe and uphold the Christian values and still be a supportive member of the church community without being a believer. Nobody has ever questioned me or even asked if I believe in God - I think many would be surprised to find out I don’t , but I don’t feel I’m using the church as I help out and contribute where I can, I also never judge others who do believe.

Our Church welcomes everyone. You definitely don't need to have a faith to attend.
We do not think it weird at all that people are there to make friends.

I go to church sometimes and am not sure if I believe. I dont participate in communion or blessings or any of the very religious things. I have never become a member of a church. I always view myself as a visitor. Everyone has always been very welcoming to me.

Hrtft but has anyone suggested the Unitarians?
I'm planning on giving that a try. Feeling rather lost and hope it'll help.

www.unitarian.org.uk/pages/unitarianism-explained

I'm not sure high pressure sales through Alpha would really work. Either you come out being convinced to some degree or you don't. Not sure any amount of fire and brimstone will turn someone into a true believer against their will.

Yes, I found the unitarian church i attended very interesting. Unfortunately most people were 60+ and so child free - there wasn't much of a social side for my dcs. In terms of people I found it was the usual mix of friendly people, quiet people and a sprinkling of charlatans that you get everywhere.

I couldn’t do it personally but maybe worth a try to see if you could.

If there aren’t any / many family groups on a weekend where you live, start one! You’ll probably find there are others in exactly the same boat.

Of course you can go.

Wot @user1474894224 said ^

Our parish CoE church is happy to welcome everyone to their events and recognises that people will have different ties, including believers/worshippers and separately those who have a cultural and/or social interest in the life of the church and/ the fabric of the church. There are friends of the church as well as the religious groups.

As PP say your position will emerge over time, no need to pretend anything. You will still be welcome just explain you are new and looking for baby groups and let them take it from there. Here there is no pressure to attend services in order to join the other groups.

Oh, and the Baptist church is, if anything , more welcoming and involved in the community providing drop in coffee sessions which include a visiting chiropodist at which we have also been made very welcome.

Enjoy.

No bloody way would I do that, I'd rather set up my own baby and toddler group on Facebook / Meetup.

No way would I do this .
Making friends with religious types just so you have some company is not worth it .

Don't think God will mind!

Have you checked to see if there's a Sunday Assembly group near you? If so it might fit the bill.

You might like to consider the Quakers too. I've never met a Quaker I didn't like, and there is even a recognised subset of Nontheist Quakers.

Making friends with religious types just so you have some company is not worth it .
Wow. You sound really open minded???

Find one that has a toddler group. When we moved, I thought if I like the people running the group then I'll try the church. How they treat people at the group's gives an indication of what they are like Sunday's. That's my opinion anyway.

Would you go to a mosque/synagogue/temple as an atheist?

Curious to know what a “ religious type” is?
My church congregation includes a wildly diverse bunch:
Gay teachers, Tory councillors, retired bus drivers, doctors, classroom assistants, Buddhists, atheists, musicians, housewives, children, uni lecturers... all of human life is under our roof and all equally welcome! I think the PP who has such a prejudiced view of churchgoers should give her local ones a try - she’d be pleasantly surprised.

I think it’s really inappropriate, sorry. Is there a local pool for swimming? Feeding the ducks? General walk? All of those are opportunities to meet people, and building friendships will happen naturally as you go about your life. If it was a ‘group’ that happened to be in a church then that’s one thing but an actual church service, absolutely not.

I think going to a church for a wedding or a funeral is one thing. If your DH believes, then going with him seems OK. If neither of you believe, then going to "meet people" who don't share your beliefs seems strange to me.

Why not join a local club, conservative, labour, liberal etc, so you can meet people who share your views?

What's 'inappropriate' about it excited? She's attending a church service not lap-dancing the vicar!

Most churches are looking to grow their congregations and welcome everyone, regardless of how much or how little religious faith they have.

My local church is very clear that it welcomes everyone of all or no religion and the baby group is also for everyone. I went to a playgroup organised by an English speaking church when I lived abroad. It was lovely. Half the people there weren't religious.

I'm an atheist and so is my DH, but we are heavily involved in our local church. We have both run groups and help out at things like holiday clubs. We go on church walks, attend pretty much all of their regular events (barn dance, quiz night, scalextric competition etc) and Dh takes the kids to Messy Church once a month. He goes to the dad focused events on a Saturday and sings in the choir with our son. The children attended all groups except Sunday school and DD is now a young leader at holiday clubs and messy church, and helps run the tuck shop. Once a year we have a big church get together in our garden, a big bring and share meal that is always well attended.

The congregation all know that we are atheist but we have never felt unwelcome, it's a lovely place with genuinely good people who love what they do. They are very accepting of our lack of faith and I have never been given the hard sell on conversion.

It has taken ten years to get as embedded as we are, but they take what we are willing to give with open arms. My family have a strong tradition of community volunteering and I was brought up in the same way by my atheist parents. I was very involved in my local church growing up as my parents were too, particularly my mum who ran the playground and holiday club for years. I loved being a part of a community and I wanted that for my DC too.

Quite a few PPs seem to think that church is some sort of elitist club for the sanctimonious, which would reject non believers as heretics, or be an “ inappropriate” place to seek friends.
Nothing could be further from what Jesus taught us - which is “Love thy neighbour as thyself.”
If you want to meet loving neighbours and new friends, OP, church would be a great place to start. It’s a supportive community that does a lot of good voluntary work in the area, and can help you connect to all sorts of activities. Mine runs a family rambling group that is v popular, and people get chatting on the walks for example.

All of which you can find in other groups with people who aren't hoping to convert you to their beliefs.