Thinking my friend should come home?

[Breastfeedingworries]

Basically long story short close family friend met partner on a camping holiday, he’s from the U.K. but lives in New Zealand, anyway she’s moved there living everyone and is smitten kitten. It’s been less than a 1 year she’s lived there as moved in sept and they now have an owned house ect and jobs and she’s trying to get Visa.

Anyhoo they’ve got two dogs and she’s just found out she’s pregnant with twins.

Am I being unreasonable thinking she’ll be mega stuck first time Mum no friends or family and partner works away in the week?

She’s saying people will visit but it’s not a short plane ride is it? It’s basically a once a year for family type distance, friends maybe every few years if they could afford it.

She loves it there for the weather and lifestyle but being new Mum myself you don’t get out, it’s going to be madness with 2 and 2 dogs alone.

Wish she’d move home with her partner and they’d all live in the uk, his family are all here too. I think their dream could become a nightmare am I being unreasonable?

You might need to look at how you are coping with being a new mum OP.

YOU can't get out of the house and YOU rely on friends and family for breaks. How many children do have?

Unless there are other issues, you're projecting your experience onto your friend, who from the sounds of it is delighted with how things are working out!

You are obviously missing her, and don't want her to struggle, but there is no reason that she should. She is happy, and I am sure knows her limitations. People move on.

I moved to Australia when dd was 2, and had dd2 here. My dream didn't become a nightmare and honestly, I barely miss the UK... friends, yes. UK no.

Not sure what you mean new Mums dont get out, I've been a new Mum 3 times now and managed to get out

She sounds happy there, not miserable. I’m not sure why you’d want her to move back in all honesty. It will be tough for her, I have no doubt but parenting is never easy. She will find friends I’m sure.

I agree with PP that this sounds much more like a projection of you struggling to cope or jealousy than anything to do with your friend. I had my first while living abroad in a country whose native language I didn't speak well. It was fine. She'll soon meet other new mums and she'll cope. I'm sure her family will plan a visit to coincide with the birth too.

The UK is actually pretty dire for maternity care and breastfeeding support so she'll probably be better cared for there too.