If you put kids to bed at 6pm ...

[ichifanny]

Just out of interest , I keep hearing parents talking about kids getting up at 4am - 5am I have 4 including a baby and apart from the newborn stage it’s never happened to any of mine unless they are ill or otherwise disrupted . Is it not just the case that if you put your kids to bed at 6-7pm then it makes sense they will be up with the larks ? Does it happen often that kids who go to bed about 8.30pm -9pm still get up early ?

I'm another.

6yo DD is asleep at about 7:30.

Always wakes 6-6:30ish.

If she goes to bed at 9?

Still 6:30 but then she's an arsehole all day.

We enjoy our 8pm-11pm adult time. And 11-6 is enough sleep and at least we're always ready for school/work on time without a rush.

Weekends we alternate lie ins unless we have plans. X

My DS wakes up at 5-6am regardless of what time he went to bed. He’s nine and he’s been this way since he was around two. As a baby he would sleep for days if you let him and he’s still a good sleeper in the sense he never struggles to get to sleep when asked but he’s always up early. I think the latest I’ve ever known him sleep in recent years was 8pm, he was sick.

I think some people are naturally early risers. I used to put my DC to bed at 6 until they were 3, 4 and 5 then I increased it to 7 and now they’re almost 7, 8 and 9 it’s 8pm. DS still wakes at 5-6am, DD’s tend to wake at 7am.

My youngest (5) will sleep late if he needs to. So last night we got back late from a holiday and he slept 10- 9.30. Happy days. Most weekends he wakes up 8/8.30ish.

My eldest is 10 and struggles to lie in past 7.30 even if she goes to bed late. So I have to make sure I consider her and keep the bed times for ds and me reasonable.

I do tthink the lark/owl thing has some truth in it. She is sadly one lark living with two owls (exh claims to be a lark but was a bloody funny one when dd was waking at 6 when she was younger! Did a very good impression of sleeping through that. )

Ah knew someone would have a pop Amanduh I thought we were having a discussion didn’t realise I was to retreat the minute someone answered my question . I’m genuinely intrigued in the subject . I’m currently up overnight with my 8 month old teething but I don’t put her to bed at 6pm or I’d be up all night .

My four were always about 8pm-7am which suited us. A 5.30 start would kill me.

Now they are older it’s me waking the biggest ones!

Dc6 goes to bed at 7:30, dc3 at 6:30. They both wake between 5:30-6:30. If I put them to bed later they still wake naturally at the same time but eventually build up a sleep deficit and get grumpy. When this happens eg holidays/party’s etc we can eat away with putting them to bed at 6 for a good few nights and they still get up at the same time.

I don’t know Cherryplum that’s why I’m asking the question , I hear a lot of people saying they prefer to have an evening child free rather have kids up late and getting up at 5am is the payoff .

Well, conversely, mine always had a great routine, went to bed early and are great sleepers.

So no, if I was simply to go on personal experience as you have. Putting children to bed early does not empirically make them rise early. Luck of the draw I'm afraid!

My 3yo and 9yo wake up when they're woken, my 11yo and 6yo are up at 6, the 11 yo sometimes earlier. The two younger kids go to bed at 8 and the others between half 8 and 9, closer to ten on a Saturday night, saying that the 9yo can be awake long after the others. The eldest is given out to regularly because he won't stay in bed and has black circles. We have messed with everything to try to get them all having the recommended sleep but nothing has worked

As others have said, we've tried many things including shifting nap time and bed time for a week or 2. DS still gets up between 5 - 6 am.

But, in fairness, even if I go to bed late I always get up roughly same time. I remember doing that even in my uni years after a long night out...

They are individuals! My first slept from 7pm to 7am sometimes an extra hour either side. She still sleeps loads (and still needs loads at 17). My second (ten years later) I did everything the same but they are polar opposites in every way, he hated sleep as a new born and at ten will still fight sleep and as soon as he can will be up and out in the morning . I am similar so at least he has company at 6am. I loved having a baby who slept with DD1 and felt very smug but really, I now realise, it had little to do with me.

DD1 would wilt by early afternoon if she hadn't had enough sleep or proper food, DS can go all a long day on the smell of rice krispies.

My two wake up at 5.30 (or earlier) regardless of bedtime. So we put them to bed at 6 for our own sanity otherwise it makes for an incredibly long day for us. And the kids get grumpy.

my baby is only 7 months but no matter what time he goes to bed he always wakes up at 5am for half an hour and then goes back to sleep until 8am. he goes to bed at 7pm. used to be 6pm before we were weaning.

My youngest and middle children both go to bed at 7 every day. Youngest would sleep in until 8-9 but usually has to be woken up for nursery. Middle child up every day at 6 on the dot. Just depends on the type of person you are!

Ah I see, yes well now you know the answer - yes, all kids are different.

Like I say, my teen is still the same now.

I don’t think moving bedtime later for a single night will ever work. It doesn’t change a toddler’s internal schedule any more than it would change an adult’s.

This isn’t guaranteed, but it was advice given to me as to how some of the super expensive sleep consultants do it. Unfortunately, it means pushing through your child being a grumpy, tired sod for a few days (or more ). They push bedtime 15 minutes later, keep it that way for several nights, then add another 15 minutes etc., until the “new” bed time is reached. You’re basically slowly adjusting the child’s circadian rhythm. She said that before you try it, you write down for several days how long your toddler sleeps (studies showed avg needed sleep time for each child can vary by up to 5 hours). Once you know the average of how long your toddler sleeps, you know what time they should go to bed to wake up at, say, 7am. After a while adjusting to a new schedule, most children should hopefully be sleeping for their average sleep-time still, and shouldn’t keep rising at 5am, unless there is an issue like sunrise coming into their room or noise waking them.
(Apologies to parents who have tried slowly moving the bedtime for several nights in a row and still had a child rise at 5am - I’m sure this is not a foolproof method, unfortunately).

With some kids it doesn’t really make much difference what time they go to bed, they would still be up at the crack of dawn.
OHs son goes to sleep around 9-10pm and wakes up by himself at 6am. Our two daughters both go to bed between 7-8, eldest (7) has to be woken up else she’d sleep in til 10, youngest (2) is up between 7-8.

I don't think 6.30 is super-early for a small child though. They do need at least 12-13 hours sleep, so bed at 6.30, up at 7-7.30 seems reasonable.

Plus, who can reasonably be bothered with small demanding people after about that time? And keeping toddlers up until about 9 every night seems like a recipe for disaster to me.

My DS age 3 goes to bed at 7pm, and has never been a pre 6:30am waker unless he's teething/ill! He was going at 6:30pm when he was a baby, now that he goes at 7pm he'll sleep until 7:30am. Sleep breeds sleep.

I’d rather mine were asleep by 7.30pm, just makes it easy for doing out in the evening. We are not yet at that stage where it’s easy for someone else to do bedtime etc. Soon hopefully!

I agree op. Absolutely every parent who says this has a child who is put to bed super early.

Also, it takes time to get into new routines... so if you're dc is still waking at 5 am you need to stick with the later bedtime for up to a month or gradually build up to it.

These things aren't instant.

I just know a 5am wake up would kill me.

I think you get the kids you can manage!

I've had to endure a lot of people suggesting I just put my three year old to bed later. I have to bite my tongue and nod politely, because as if anyone would t try putting their early riser to bed a bit later.

My mother was the main culprit of this. Just last weekend, after her trying the whole 'keep him up and wear him out' theory AGAIN |she finally just sat there (with massive bags under her eyes ) and said 'it's...it's just like he has his own internal alarm clock...everyday...5am'

Yup.

When you're exhausted it really really really doesn't help when people say 'just put him to bed later'

Really.

My 2 year old and my 6 year old both go to bed between 7-8pm and are both awake between 6-7am. If they go to bed later they still wake at the same time, but the 2 year old doesn't sleep well I guess due to being overtired. She doesn't nap anymore.

Yes Framey that’s why I asked the question I wasn’t feigning ignorance , everyone I have spoken to who complains of early risers also admit they put children to bed at 6-7pm I’ve never met anyone who lets them stay up and still rise early . I now see some people love that sort of hell where they are up at 4-5am regardless . I also think of mine started getting up at 5am they would soon get fed up of it when they just got brought into bed beside us .