If you put kids to bed at 6pm ...

[ichifanny]

Just out of interest , I keep hearing parents talking about kids getting up at 4am - 5am I have 4 including a baby and apart from the newborn stage it’s never happened to any of mine unless they are ill or otherwise disrupted . Is it not just the case that if you put your kids to bed at 6-7pm then it makes sense they will be up with the larks ? Does it happen often that kids who go to bed about 8.30pm -9pm still get up early ?

Conversely I cannot put my baby to bed any earlier than 8pm. Whatever time she gets up in the morning, she just comes alive at night, and to be honest, 8pm is a battle (I say looking at the still awake baby). I’m sure people judge me because she doesn’t go to bed at 7pm.

Love the comment from PP on ‘how do you manage to do your hair and makeup’ ‘I’ve been up for 4 hours-soo very true!’

It absolutely doesn't matter if DD (10 months) goes to bed at 7pm or 9.30pm (once even 10.40pm) she'll be up anywhere between 4.15 & 6.

4.15 has happened twice this week, 5 is her average, 6 is the absolute latest she'll sleep.

Mine both slept through fine, had both of them in the 4 / 8/ 12 routine pretty much bang on and both slept through by 6 weeks or so.

I had a rule from day one that baby would be put down for sleeps still slightly awake and life would carry on around them. I knew far too many people whose lives were tethered by their baby and toddler. Meaning that nobody was happy. I don't think I was particularly lucky, my siblings babies were all pretty similar and we'd all followed the same advise given by our mum.

Greatbigwho, that's my point though, you have to completely change their routine to make it happen.

But also, it can't have that much to do with light, as our light and dark changes throughout the year by loads.

It's interesting anyway.

My dd always got up early. Putting her to bed later meant she got up at the same time still but was grumpy all day. So annoying, but better to just go with it.

Think it totally depends on the child! My 19 month old never goes to bed before 8pm at the earliest (which seems to be really late for his peer group) as he’s just not ready to. He simply isn’t tired until then. He usually wakes at about 7am which is fine with us or sometimes later. Occasionally he’ll randomly wake really early but it’s unusual.

A couple of times he’s gone to bed even later when we’ve been travelling to and from places or when people have been staying, around 9/9.30 and he slept in until about 8.30am which was lovely!

I am rather envious of people whose kids are all in bed by 6pm as I would love for DH and I to have an evening together more, but I hate early mornings so the pay off is worth it for me!

I have several friends whose kids are up 5am and earlier and most are in bed by 7pm latest- I did used to think surely their kids would sleep later if they went to bed later but apparently this isn’t the case! Some kids just wake early no matter what. One of my friends’ 3 year olds wakes at 4.30 every day despite her trying everything to get him to sleep longer!

We went abroad when DS2 (the 5.15am waker) was 3. There was a 5 hour time difference and trying to adjust him to it almost broke me and the rest of my family. We were all meant to be there for a year, but myself and the kids ended up coming back after 7 months as it was just absolutely hideous. We decided it was something we'd never do again as even though it should have been a better lifestyle (better salary, better weather, more relaxed education etc) it was just horrendous.

My DS was always asleep until about 18 months. After that he only ever needed 8 hours a night tops. He certainly never slept for 12. But I have always had bedtime and sleep time as two separate things. So he needed to be upstairs by 7 but he could read or play quietly. He’d usually go to sleep about 10pm. Most parents won’t want their kids up till 10pm and most couldn’t self entertain like he could (he has ASD and could read from a very young age and didn’t need “entertaining”). Equally he could amuse himself in the morning if he did wake up early. I was certainly never up before 8!

I must admit that I have been a bit surprised to read so many people on MN saying they’re up with their kids at 5! I also had a DD with a bit more “normal” sleep pattern but I just wouldn’t have tolerated getting up at that time and I think they knew it! They would just play quietly in their rooms or, when they were older, get some breakfast and watch TV.
We never had any disasters and it didn’t do them any harm.

Mine go to bed at 7.30 and wake up around 9-10am always have, both slept through from 10 weeks also but it means they wake up with so much energy I struggle to calm them down during the day and occupy them as they are always on the go

My preemie twins always slept a lot and bedtime was 6pm until they were 2 (I would wake them at 8am). We introduced a Gro Clock at 2 and this has worked for years, they know not to get up before the sun. They are almost 7 now and bedtime is 7:30 and on weekends and school holidays they'll sleep until 8am-9am.

Mine always, always, always (unless unwell) wakes at 5/6, regardless what time they go to bed- 7, 8, 9, so if they go early, at least I have a free evening!

Mine goes to bed between 8 and 9 and is up between 7 and 8. I also kind of feel that if you put them to bed at 6pm of course they will be up at 5am! I am not a morning person and I’ve sacrificed my evenings to avoid early mornings.
I appreciate that some people say that if they go to bed later they are still up early but they manage clock changes and tone zone changes on holiday. I suspect if you really want to shift it you need to do small steady increments, use black out blinds and shift the whole days routine - including meal times. This isn’t always possible for people.

My three all slept 6/7pm to 7am. No idea why!

Strange how 'experts' still say you can train a child to go to sleep earlier or later.

Didn't work for me as a baby, I didn't sleep until stupid o'clock then, and still don't now. My mother said I was the first of her five who 'never slept' and, as she was a full on 4 hours between feeds, leave them in the pram outside type of person, do everything to a strict schedule, for her to admit it didn't work must have meant it has always been just pure luck. I don't suppose she enjoyed it much either, as she was a 5.30am riser from the previous four, all of whom were asleep by 6pm throughout infant school.

DD1 would sleep from 9pm ish (if not later) when she eventually started sleeping for more than 45 minutes a time at age 4 but if you breathed too heavy from the next room between two closed doors, her eyes would snap open and she'd be up all day. DD2 had an afternoon nap between 1.30 and 2.30 until she was 3, but never, ever went to sleep before 9 and would happily sleep through until 8. Had she gone to sleep by 6, she'd have been living at her childminder's, anyway.

DP never slept early, either.

What baffled me was the woman I knew who complained about her kids being up by five every morning, put them to bed before 6pm - but then admitted that she woke up naturally at 5 and deliberately got them up from deep sleep because she 'was lonely without them'. Those children were horrible, whiny, fighting constantly - but when I ended with two of them on an emergency sleepover, they slept all the way from 10pm through to 9am each day, even with all the distraction of being with their friends (the DDs).

A kid that sleeps to the schedule their parent wants is just fortunate in having the same tendencies as their parent, in my opinion. No point shaming anybody either way.

My son is affected by clock changes. The clock going back is particularly difficult because he wants to go to bed the hour earlier (although he can't tell the time). It takes about 6 weeks to get the hour back with horrendous meltdowns if you mistime it by a few minutes.

Does it happen often that kids who go to bed about 8.30pm -9pm still get up early ? DS slept for 11 hours at two, about 10 from age three onwards. As a two year old he would typically go to sleep at 8.30pm, up at 7.30am, then about 9pm to 7am when he was three.

Oh if only if we're that simple.

Both mine go to bed at 7 and wake at 7. If I put them to bed later, they would wake up at 7. So in the interest of having some me time, I'd rather them go to bed earlier as it makes no difference.

DDs usually go to bed at 7pm.

DD1 is 7, she sleeps at least 12 hours no matter what time she goes to bed.

DD2 is 5, she'll wake up between 6.15 and 7.15.

DD2 did go through this weird phase for well over a year of waking up at 6.30am local time - didn't matter where in the world we were, or if the clocks had moved forwards or backwards - she would always wake at 6.30am. Weird.

Mine will get up between 5.30 and 6.30 regardless of bedtime so they need to go to bed by 6.30 to make sure they get the sleep they need. I've played with later bedtimes and naps but it doesn't change. They are 3&5. I do very much enjoy my evenings though and they generally entertain themselves until 7 so it works for us.

All 4 of mine would get up at the crack of dawn regardless of what time they went to bed, and then be bloody awful through over-tiredness the next day. Keeping them up later was never ever worth it.

I don’t have the energy to get up at 5am so would rather have them awake until 9pm

Oh it’s not about your preference, it’s about the child. They’re all different, and I guess you’ve been ‘lucky’ in that sense. I would have rather my kids didn’t wake at 4am, but they do, so they go to bed earlier to make sure they get enough sleep. One time I let family keep one of them up until gone 10. “He’ll sleep tonight” they all chimed. 1am he woke up. 2hrs he slept for... how we laugh about it now 🤨
If they go to bed late, they wake earlier, and are horridly overtired monsters. I love them dearly, but my desire to stay in bed until 6am has no bearing on their routine.

My youngest 20 months has started going to bed between 5.45pm and 6.30pm. He'll usually sleep through till about 7am. Before that it was 7pm but he lets me know when he's ready for bed.

Mine wake up at 6am regardless of what time they go to bed. But if they go to bed later they're a lot grumpier the next day! But not tired enough to be convinced to have a nap...