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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you put kids to bed at 6pm ...

365 replies

ichifanny · 01/06/2019 19:04

Just out of interest , I keep hearing parents talking about kids getting up at 4am - 5am I have 4 including a baby and apart from the newborn stage it’s never happened to any of mine unless they are ill or otherwise disrupted . Is it not just the case that if you put your kids to bed at 6-7pm then it makes sense they will be up with the larks ? Does it happen often that kids who go to bed about 8.30pm -9pm still get up early ?

OP posts:
Needadvices · 03/06/2019 12:01

Thats exactly it, people prefer to put kids to bed early to then have a quiet evening. Why make all this song and dance about their children being desperate for bed at 5 pm. They r because they have been used to it. Dont know why people then whine about kids waking early, taking ages to fall asleep etc etc.
In out family we value spending sharing dinner every evening and generally spending time together, in the morning is not the same . As well we avoid the cooking twice(kids dinner and adults dinner), we all eat the same so less fussiness and they sleep very quickly around 9/10.

TwittleBee · 03/06/2019 12:05

We also value sharing a family meal together at 5.30pm...

MrsKoala · 03/06/2019 12:09

Personally, I find it selfish and I wonder how you can spend so little time with your children each evening

While I don't agree with this entirely, there are benefits to having late sleepers (despite the pity I get from my friends whose kids are in bed at 7pm). DH gets home at 8pm and leaves at 7am. So he wouldn't get to see them in the week. Even if they got up at 5.30 he wouldn't! And an hour or so would be his shower/breakfast etc anyway. In the evening he comes in and they all play games together for an hour or 2.

Certainly not everyone, but a lot of people I know put their kids to bed early for child free time with each other, rather than because it suits the child. Not necessarily a bad thing. But it's not our choice here.

Needadvices · 03/06/2019 12:10

Thats a good job where both parents can be home in time to have dinner ready by 5.30.(which is afternoon btw, do u then dont eat till next morning?)

MrsKoala · 03/06/2019 12:15

They can't wait till 8.30-9pm for their dinner tho, so they eat at 5pm and then eat again a little with us if they fancy a bedtime snack. But usually they tend to play, dance, sing, chatter while we eat. (it helps our dining room and playroom are the same room).

DH would obviously accept it if they were knackered and wanted bed at 7pm. But he'd miss them terribly and they would him too.

TwittleBee · 03/06/2019 12:16

We might have a snack or treat on the odd occasion but usually we won't eat again till breakfast at 5.30am.

Our schedule is a lot earlier than the average family maybe. I start work at 7am and so am home by 4pm. DH is on a shift pattern so is at home more days than is at work out of the month with only 6 days in a month being shifts where he cant make the 5.30pm dinner but he just reheats what we had earlier.

Would stress though that my work pattern changed to suit DS' sleep pattern; work is very flexible on hours. DS' sleep hasnt been dictated by our lifestyle.

Needadvices · 03/06/2019 12:18

We have dinner around 7.30/8. There will be an afternoon snack after school.

2toddlers · 03/06/2019 12:21

One of my best friend’s has a 4 and 2 year old, they put their children to bed at 6pm sharp every night, they then wake up at 5ish. My children are 3 and nearly 2, they never go to bed before 9pm, they’d wake up if left at about 8, I have to get them up at 7.15 on nursery days. I moan about not having the evening in peace, but my friend moans about being woken up at 5am. They are very regimented in their house and did the whole leaving their kids to cry so they go to bed at 6pm. We’ve never been into that, which is probably why are kids are never in bed before 9pm. As much as I moan about no time alone with my husband I actually prefer our more relaxed approach with a later bedtime and later wake up time. I suppose it depends what time you have to have to be up and out, if we needed to leave at 6am I’d try and make them sleep earlier.

itsonlysubterfuge · 03/06/2019 12:49

My DD is bed at 9, asleep by 10 and she wakes up at 9. She is nearly 7.

feckinarse · 03/06/2019 12:52

My kids are 6 and 8. They go to bed (lights out) at 7pm and 8.30-45pm, and yes, they are awake at 6am but I like that, because if they sleep later I have to wake them at 6.30 so we can get to school when it starts, which is 8am. (I live in China. But it was similar times when I lived in the USA)
The 6 year old isn't always sleepy at 7pm but potters happily and quietly in his room, plays a bit with lego, reads a book or two, and goes to sleep when tired.
The 8 year old has SEN and needs someone in the room as he falls asleep. It's a bugger and it's annoying, especially when I have work to do. I often sit there with his meditation CD playing and work (lesson planning, marking etc) on my laptop.

Oh, and we're all home between 3.30 and 4pm depending on clubs/meetings, so we see each other a healthy amount in the evenings, eat together, play a boardgame or some nintendo together, etc.

When I let them stay up later (which I do over summer or Christmas holidays) they tend to sleep as late as 7am sometimes, but rarely later. I'm not much for lying in myself - 8am is about as late as I can sleep unless I'm ill or hungover. But I do like to be asleep by 10pm!
So .. yeah. I think for their peers they go to bed early, but it works for us. They also both stopped napping REALLY early (like, around 2) and are both highly active... so I think that prompted the earlier bedtimes. They conked themselves out after non-stop days, and so slept soundly and early.
My friend's son napped for 2 hours in the afternoon until he was nearly 5, and they often had him up pretty late in the evening. Horses for courses, and all that.

Waveysnail · 03/06/2019 12:52

It really depends on the child. Eldest would literally pass out at 6.30pm even with 3 hour nap then up at 5am. We spent weeks cutting naps or pushing bed time. It never ever worked. Hes 10 now and goes to bed at 10am and gets at at 6am

WhoKnewBeefStew · 03/06/2019 12:55

It doesn’t always stand to reason, that the later you put kids to bed, the later they will get up.

I found that mine would actually get up at exactly the same time (and be a grumpy nightmare the next day). Mine would get up at 5.30am regardless of what time you put them to bed. So mine might as well go to bed at 6pm, at least if then get about 12 hrs uninterrupted downtime without the dc.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 03/06/2019 12:57

My dd is at secondary school now and she’s still up early, I like that tho as I never have to drag her out of bed to get ready for school. As long as I feed her about half an hour after she wakes she’s a dream to get ready, and out the door for school. Plus she’ll now entertain herself on weekend mornings so I do get a lie in then.

Bignosenobum · 03/06/2019 13:17

My son never spent until he was aged10. Slept 2 hours and up again. Nightmare. He now has a degree in music and a good job. So did not impact really. Except on me.

elderflowercordialwithice · 03/06/2019 13:18

Mine has been a pretty good sleeper since she was a baby. Now 11. W
She wakes 6-6.30am regardless of what time she goes to bed. Usual bed time about 8.15. But makes no difference at all. Gets it from DH Grin

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