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Original poster

If you put kids to bed at 6pm ...

365 replies

ichifanny · 01/06/2019 19:04

Just out of interest , I keep hearing parents talking about kids getting up at 4am - 5am I have 4 including a baby and apart from the newborn stage it’s never happened to any of mine unless they are ill or otherwise disrupted . Is it not just the case that if you put your kids to bed at 6-7pm then it makes sense they will be up with the larks ? Does it happen often that kids who go to bed about 8.30pm -9pm still get up early ?

OP posts:
Jellycat1 · 02/06/2019 15:18

I now see some people love that sort of hell where they are up at 4-5am regardless . I also think of mine started getting up at 5am they would soon get fed up of it when they just got brought into bed beside us

Er right ok ...!

NabooThatsWho · 02/06/2019 15:19

Mine used to both sleep from 5pm to 5-6 am till they where 9ish.

No judgement, but they were asleep by 5pm? What time did they go to bed, 4.30pm?

HerSymphonyAndSong · 02/06/2019 15:22

Loads of “sleep trainers” advise earlier bedtimes to deal with early rising, so it just goes to show that no one really has a clue and it’s just luck as to what works for your child and your family

HerSymphonyAndSong · 02/06/2019 15:23

Haha my baby loves being in bed with me, it is his best thing

SinkGirl · 02/06/2019 15:26

I think often you’ll find that parents settle on an earlier bed time because their kids are early risers, rather than the early bed time making them wake early

Needadvices · 02/06/2019 15:29

You never (or very rarely) hear of kids getting up at 4 am in countries where routinely kids go to bed at 9/10 pm.
Of course, if once they stay up late is not going to change anything, they need later bedtimes for quite a while.
I think depends whether parents prefer alone time in the evening to sleep in the morning. Personally i think kids going to bed at 6pm is not fair for the children, and is mostly for parents to have them out of the way.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 02/06/2019 15:32

“Of course, if once they stay up late is not going to change anything, they need later bedtimes for quite a while.”

Do you disbelieve those who say they have tried for months?

Sparrowlegs248 · 02/06/2019 15:33

Luck if the draw I think. Dc1 had a phase of being up at 4.30 or 5 am as a baby, for a few months (14 months ish) and it didn't matter what time he went to bed, hee still be up early. Only difference was how grumpy he'd be if he'd had a late night. So yes, he dud 6pm to 5am for a few months. His bedtime got later as did his wake up, just naturally. He's still up 6.30ish aged almost 4.

Dc2 however would sleep til 8 or 9am if he got the chance.

BillywigSting · 02/06/2019 15:38

Mine is like a pps in that his wake up time is his wake up time and his bedtime seems to have little to no baring on it.

Eg, typically he goes to bed between 7-8pm. Wakes up between 6:30-7am. Last night was allowed to stay up late until 9:30pm for the football and was awake this morning at 7am.

Last week was full of cold and got sent to bed at 6:30pm and was up the next day at 7:15am.

It was worse when he was younger

3boysandabump · 02/06/2019 15:38

My 4 year old goes up at 6.30 has a bath then in to bed and asleep by around 7-7.15. He will sleep until 8-8.30 if it's not a school day

jameswong · 02/06/2019 15:39

I have a suggestion OP. Tell a friend with an early riser you will babysit for 24 hours. Keep the kid up an extra 2 or 3 hours past their usual bedtime. The next day, vindicated by the child inevitably sleeping longer, you can enjoy a long lie and explain to your friends where they've been going wrong. I'm 100% sure it will work and the child won't wake up at the same time as normal, albeit an absolute raving mess for the day.

FilthyforFirth · 02/06/2019 15:40

Only read the first page. Such a myth that the later to bed the later they will wake. Some children simply are early risers. Like most I have the added problem of a later bedtime often means an even earlier wake up.

Sunshine1235 · 02/06/2019 15:40

I put mine to sleep at 6-6.30ish I can because I enjoy a long child free evening. They wake up around between 6-7 though and have never been crazy early risers thankfully. If I put them to bed later then they might sleep in a little bit but not the equivalent amount of time, so if they go to bed at 9 they might wake at half 7 but it’s not worth it for me, I need to be alone sometimes 😂

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 02/06/2019 15:42

You never (or very rarely) hear of kids getting up at 4 am in countries where routinely kids go to bed at 9/10 pm.

I'll ask again since no one answered up thread... in these countries is school later? And work? Is there always one parent at home? Because a 9 o'clock bedtime for a child getting up at 7 for school/nursery sounds knackering.

Purplespup16 · 02/06/2019 15:50

My 16 year old still gets up between 5-5:30am, and no he doesn’t have to! In fact we beg him him to stay in bed longer. His younger sister (12) would sleep until 7:30-8 but is woken when her brother goes down at 6. To try and “help” the rule is no downstairs until 6am (he will just lay in bed and read until 6). He goes into his room around 8:30ish, not entirely sure what time he falls sleep but is fast asleep when we go to bed at 10. Nope staying up doesn’t help him sleep longer, we tried it in the summer holidays last year. He was just a grumpy wreck for weeks! He once slept until 6:30 and I was honestly debating checking if he was ok prior! 😳

Stuckforthefourthtime · 02/06/2019 16:23

@FormerlyFrikadela01 I come from a culture where late bedtimes are the norm. Yes, children sleep later but not always so much (for example a 10pm bedtime but 7/8am wake-up). The difference where I come from is that traditionally children are raised with an extended family and often a sahm, so they also have afternoon naps (or double day naps) a lot longer than children here, and in the evenings there are plenty of people to keep an eye - and also less active parenting is usual.

That doesn't work well when British children are at a busy childminder, or starting school at 4 and a bit, nor when the only way for parents to either get chores done or have time together is after children are asleep.

lyralalala · 02/06/2019 17:16

You never (or very rarely) hear of kids getting up at 4 am in countries where routinely kids go to bed at 9/10 pm.

Surely you'd have to frequent the Spanish (or wherever) version of Mumsnet to accurately be able to say that?

It's not like kids waking early is on the news, you only hear about it from the people you know or forums like this so you just wouldn't hear about it...

I'll ask again since no one answered up thread... in these countries is school later? And work? Is there always one parent at home? Because a 9 o'clock bedtime for a child getting up at 7 for school/nursery sounds knackering.

They don't start later in the day, but the kids are older when they start school. Plus, in parts of Spain at least, the lunch break is long enough for a nap. My friend's kids go to school 9-12 and then they are home for lunch and siesta then back to school from 3 til 5 or 5.30. Some parts of the year they finish school for the day at lunchtime.

lyralalala · 02/06/2019 17:20

you can't try moving bedtime later one or two nights and expect to see a change straight away as their internal bodyclock won't have adjusted, it could take up to a couple weeks!

You need to Decide which end of the day you're Willing to lose the time and then persevere, IME!

Have you actually bothered to read any of the posts from people who perservered for months and it still didn't work?

Skyejuly · 02/06/2019 17:21

I do think some of the us and UK have obsessions with 7pm and no children seen.

Starlight456 · 02/06/2019 17:21

I haven’t read the thread as I find many parents whose kids sleeps can be very smug.. However my Ds has only just started sleeping later if he goes to bed later . He is 12.This includes staying up for New Year’s Eve.

Purplegecko · 02/06/2019 17:27

DD goes to bed at 8/9pm, wakes up between 7-8am

Needadvices · 02/06/2019 17:28

Not everyone on here is british born and has grown up in the Uk. Im talking from experience. As well where im from school starts at 8.20 am and finished at 4 pm.

Needadvices · 02/06/2019 17:29

Lyralalala

Autumn101 · 02/06/2019 17:31

Really depends on the child - DS1 is up around 6am latest regardless of bedtime, even if it’s 11pm. He just naturally sleeps until then, has done since a baby and now nearly 11! Much easier now as obviously he can just get up and sort himself out but the toddler years were hard....... We live in a country where school starts at 7.15am though so it suits him.

DS2 will generally sleep for 10 hours whenever or wherever he goes to bed. Both had same upbringing and routines

SunshineSpring · 02/06/2019 17:32

On the keep them up late cultures:
Saudi here. The kids stay up really late (regularly seen in the mall at 10pm), but school starts early (7.30, 8am sort of early). There is also a culture of the kids getting a bus to school, often with no adult other than the driver on it. And every summer, there are a couple of horrific news stories where a kid falls asleep on the bus, no-one notices them tucked up in a corner, and they die from over heating before anyone notices they are missing. I think they often snooze at lunch time -many of the kids are home from school by 1pm.