To ask that if you and your dh would get sick of each other if neither of you worked?

[ExtraPineappleExtraHam]

Not a personal reason for asking this but I've got two examples.
The couple who live next door both don't work. He is on longtime disability and she is a career for their ds who has autism. No judgement on their not working please. Their lives look pretty hard from an outside p.o.v, very little money. I don't see them go anywhere apart from to school and the local shop. I imagine the autism might make certain places unbearable for them so maybe that's a factor too. I think I would get so bored of my dp if I was stuck in a house with him 24/7 but I never hear them argue and she looks happy enough.
The other extreme is my friend's friends have won the euromillions. They were both able to quit their jobs and as they're in their twenties I imagine that their lives are pretty amazing, as you still have quite a big social circle at that age. The one thing that struck me was my friend saying that they had to make a conscious decision to not drink every night as they slipped into drinking two bottles of wine as they didn't have jobs to wake up for. Does this seem like a symptom of unhappiness/ boredom to you? I don't think the only thing that stops me from being an alcoholic is work and money!
I openly admit I enjoy only spending a few hours with dp every night. Even weekends can seem too much. I couldn't cope if we were together all day every day unless we had enough money to have lots of hobbies and holidays!

Some strange grammar going on in the title sorry!

I always wonder about couples coming up for retirement. They go, potentially, from seeing each other a few hours a day to being together 24/7 and with possibly even less to talk about.

I should think that even in a happy marriage that takes quite a bit of adjustment, and could be a cause of lots of conflict in a not so happy one.

I think we'd be OK because we'd both do our own thing. I'd spend more time at the allotment and we'd both run more. Spending too much time with anyone would do my head in.

Yes, my parents (who have fairly separate lives anyway for a happily married couple) survived a year before my mum went and got a job. And my father is intolerable- he’s been retired for years now (early though, so he has many more to go) and has turned awfully introverted, dull and repetitive. He has loads to do (hobby, house) but never makes any progress on anything. He’s turned into one of those people who can make taking the car for an MOT a week long activity.

I already find my DH quite boring so there is no way we’d cope- unless we had loads of money to do brilliant things

Yes, I would be bored and sick of life in general if I didn’t work. The two of us together would go mad. I love my dh and we’ve spent extended time traveling and together and it was wonderful. But we always knew we had a full and interesting life we enjoyed to return home to. I’m sure it may feel differently at retirement (we are many decades from retirement age), but I’d be bored senseless not working and I can’t imagine 2 of us bored wouldn’t get on each other’s nerves.

I think we'd be fine.

I have lots I like to do outside of work, and my DH has lots of other things he likes to do, so I think we would be fine.

We don’t work as we’re both retired after long careers in professional roles. (Sadly not won euro millions ). So we’re both at home together a lot of the time. I have to be honest and say there are times when we get on each others nerves a bit. But we have a home to run, a dog to walk, I volunteer for a local charity which keeps me busy, I also have a horse to look after, and a wide circle of friends to socialise with, and we both have other hobbies which keep us busy.

I think if you are able to strike a balance between time together and time apart doing your own things then, as long as you have a basically sound relationship generally, you get along fine.

Me and dp work together so think we would be fine!

@dudsville would you be fine on a very limited income? I think it's the same as the SAHP thing. Would I be ok as a stay at home mum with all the money in the world? Absolutely! With no money? I wouldn't do it, maternity leave was bad enough!

I think we’d be fine as long as we had enough money to pursue our individual interests. Obviously if we were both at home together all day we’d go insane, but I would if I was sat at home on my own all day too.
Lack of working wouldn’t bother either of us, both of us have enough outside interests and thinks we’d like to pursue.

I think I would find the Euromillions side more difficult. Your next door’s neighbours have challenges to conquer everyday. Their problems and the way they solve them together may keep them happy despite the immense difficulties. Your Euromillions friends have nothing to live for, they will get increasingly bored and spend more and more until they run out of money or split.

@TanMateix that's interesting, I think that's my viewpoint too.

I would not necessarily be sick of him but I bloody love my job and could not imagine not working, even if we win the euromillions.

Plenty of retired people live in the same house but not in each other’s pockets. My parents, once they both had retired, split the house so both have their own studio, with their books, TV and music so they do not get into each other’s feet. They also meet with friends separately and have their own projects that keep them busy and interesting to each other.

My husband and I work together Mon-Fri 8-6. We have been together for 13 years, and married last year.
It works for us. But we do pretty much go our separate ways at the weekend. We also have separate hobbies that takes us away from one another an evening a week.

Your euromillions friends also have the challenge of their wide social circle all wanting a slice of their pie...

I think DH & I would actually get along better if neither of us worked! We rarely spend any time together at the moment and it's hard on our relationship. When we do get the odd day / weekend away together we remember why we love each other!

I think DH and I would be fine too. Am a sahp and we don't run out of things to talk about. I guess it's about whether you are generally a contented person - we don't have limitless amounts of money but are quite happy reading our books, watching Netflix, pottering about. If we had lots of money we'd be traveling a lot more so I can't imagine getting bored.
Working full time doesn't necessarily make people more interesting so am not convinced it would help couples have more to say to each other than not working but having time/money to perdue individual interests.
My parents are both retired now. Dad goes fishing and does his thing, my mum goes to classes and sees her friends and they are both happy.

We are retired, and have been since 2014, and are in our early/mid 60's. I must say, I was a bit worried when my h retired 10 months after me, I thought he might cramp my style a bit. In reality we live separate lives pretty much. Individually we have a lot of interests/hobbies and we might go all day and not see each other.
We are not the kind of people who have ever been joined at the hip though.

Me and DH both work from home so we see a looooot of each other. It's fine! We like each other so it's all good.

If we didn't work I'd be just as busy doing voluntary stuff or taking classes so it wouldn't be any different.

Funny you should ask, I've just stopped work (a bit early) and I'm wondering how DH and I will get on now we're both home all the time! We like each other but it has potential to be really irritating for one or both of us. He's got a hobby that takes him out a lot and I do enjoy those days to myself, we enjoy walking and other activities together, and I plan to find things to do independently so hopefully we won't be in each other's company 24/7.

We have said we'll limit our alcohol intake to the same number of evenings as when we were working, I do think it could creep up (although maybe not as much as two bottles a night, that would ring alarm bells). I'll be monitoring to see if we keep to this!

I'm guessing the amount of money you have makes a big difference in these circumstances, and the amount of freedom. We have the cash to indulge in our hobbies and no ties to stop us going out when we want and where we want (although I'm sure your friends don't see their child in that way). It must be very different for them.

When my ds was born I became a sahm and we were fortunate that DH could take a year off before returning to work. We got on fab. He made my life easier. We are both introverts as well so we managed to give each other space while needing space at the same time.

@Ounce sadly they're not my friends, we've never met. They're friends of friends. They were Oxford graduates with good jobs in the city. I don't think it's been a huge adjustment. I've never had money and a lottery win would wreck my life and trust. It's almost better going to people who already have those skills in place.

Ounce, I would say that the main challenge is not the friends wanting a slice of their pie, very few people would act like that, the main problem is that they will loose the points to connect with their friends:

-Friends won’t be able to keep up with them, therefore reducing social opportunities
-They will get tired of “downsizing” so the friends can join

• and those nice talks sharing problems and advice over a cup of coffee will be gone... as most people assume people with money have no problems and therefore cannot understand.