To ask that if you and your dh would get sick of each other if neither of you worked?

[ExtraPineappleExtraHam]

Not a personal reason for asking this but I've got two examples.
The couple who live next door both don't work. He is on longtime disability and she is a career for their ds who has autism. No judgement on their not working please. Their lives look pretty hard from an outside p.o.v, very little money. I don't see them go anywhere apart from to school and the local shop. I imagine the autism might make certain places unbearable for them so maybe that's a factor too. I think I would get so bored of my dp if I was stuck in a house with him 24/7 but I never hear them argue and she looks happy enough.
The other extreme is my friend's friends have won the euromillions. They were both able to quit their jobs and as they're in their twenties I imagine that their lives are pretty amazing, as you still have quite a big social circle at that age. The one thing that struck me was my friend saying that they had to make a conscious decision to not drink every night as they slipped into drinking two bottles of wine as they didn't have jobs to wake up for. Does this seem like a symptom of unhappiness/ boredom to you? I don't think the only thing that stops me from being an alcoholic is work and money!
I openly admit I enjoy only spending a few hours with dp every night. Even weekends can seem too much. I couldn't cope if we were together all day every day unless we had enough money to have lots of hobbies and holidays!

Why would the euromillions couple have ‘nothing to live for’? Not everyone lives to work. Yes it would definitely have its challenges but having nothing to live for is a strange way to look at it.

I have some friends that retired at 40, after a very productive career in banking moving around the world. They sold the house in Kensington, moved to their beloved house in Marbella and picked up a Porsche on the way there, with the intention to devote themselves to hobbies they had not had much time to pursue.

They lasted a year, they got bored and went back to work. I’m not sure if they are still together.

I'm a SAHW (dreadful I know 🙄) and a couple of years ago my husband decided to resign from a really stressful job. He didn't go back to work for 9 months and we got on fine.

I think I would struggle , when we were younger I could have coped but not now we are older

If we were both stuck in the house, then yes we would drive each other crazy.

But if we were both healthy and went out to do our own things - then it would be fine. We have a dog and if we were both retired or not walking I'd imagine we'd have multiple dogs too!

My parents don't, but they are financially comfortable and can do nice stuff.

We have three months together now as dh is on gardening leave before a new job, two weeks in and we are doing alright. He used to work away during the week so this is a big change. Nice though.

I should have said “no goal to fight for”

In the words of Paulo Coelho, it is the fight/challenge what keeps you alive. Obviously, they can still have challenges and set themselves goals but may find it difficult to keep motivated when there is no structure or aim for the day. That doesn’t mean rich people do not have challenges, it does mean that if you run out of them, you bore yourself to death.

For the person who is a carer, she probably has very little time to sit down and get bored with her dh. My child has autism and it is so much harder to look after him than it is to go to work, work is my break. So id imagine she doesn't have the time to be bored with her dh and is glad of the adult company and support. It is a pity though that the need to survive on such little money I would struggle if I was in that situation.
For the Euro millions side, there's no way either me or dp could stay at home all day every day for years and years with nothing to focus on... we bored be bored full stop not just with each other.
But it would be nice to be able to work more flexibly (shorter week, more holidays) and I think that's what we would aim for

I think we would both find it very difficult not working. We've frequently said if we won the lottery we would work in some form, there's a business we'd love to get into. I think our MH would be affected not having a purpose, to me work gives purpose, so our relationship would ultimately be affected as we'd be unhappy in ourselves. I don't like to think about retirement, to me it sounds like waiting for death, I hope I have a healthier attitude to it by the time I have to ha.

I think we would! Sometimes we get on each others nerves if we’re off together from work even now 😫.

I think I would cope if I won the euro millions! You could have a house each if you wanted or a wing in your mansion and run your hobby business. I would have a sort of petting zoo.
Staying at home all day with my dh on a limited income not so sure.

My DH and I took a year off work to travel around the world when we were younger. We were together constantly for the entire year, barring trips to the toilet (although sometimes even this wasn't private during the more rugged parts of the trip!). We barely argued. We never ran out of stuff to talk about, we had a great time.

I suppose this was different to simply not working long term because when you're travelling the world there is a lot going on and you're busy. I'd like to think that we'd cope well if it happened to us but it could get boring...

I remember my MIL dreading FIL retiring as she thought he'd get under her feet. (They were fine).

I think it depends on your relationship generally, whether you have joint and separate interests, whether you respect the other's needs for time alone.

We always look forward to spending our weekends together. I love bank holidays and holidays, even if not going away, when we get extended time together.

Your neighbours' lives may not be as you see them. They may not be able to go out much due to disability rather than for monetary reasons. Do you actually know their financial situation? Their financial situation may be fine for their needs. They may all be very family-orientated and enjoy spending time together.
You asking us not to judge your neighbours is a bit ironic.

I don't think your friend's friends are necessarily bored or unhappy. They may enjoy drinking wine but realise it isn't healthy to do so regularly. Winning a lot of money can be life-changing and they may be enjoying some down time before deciding what they will do in the future as a result of the win.

Perhaps you should delve a bit deeper into why spending more time with your DP at weekends is an issue. Does he get on your nerves when you are on holiday too. Understanding why might help find a solution (that's if you consider it a problem). I like to sometimes lie on our bed alone and contemplate the universe and my DH respects that.

We are both at home most of the time now. It's fine, we do some stuff together and some stuff apart (work, house stuff, me going to meet other mums and babies, sport, occasional friend catch-ups), but we spend more time each day together than not and almost every evening together. We have little DS with us too in the daytime. Every now and then I feel antisocial, so then we will have an evening doing our own thing. I don't get bored of him when we go out together in the daytimes. We have a lot of similar interests and DS is a permanent distraction. There are never enough hours in the day, we wouldn't get bored if we had less to do we'd just fit in other things, there are loads and loads of day trips we're planning that we haven't had time for yet for example.

We are (temporarily) in that situation. I find it hard because all the things that annoy me about dh are amplified and I have to face them daily.

I have to hide regularly to recharge. Currently hiding in dd’s bedroom for a bit of peace.

If they could invent a wine with no long term health side effects I'd drink every night!

I think we'd be fine as a couple, but in the Euro millions scenario I think DP would grasp the opportunity to do the computer stuff he hasn't got time for. And I'd do another degree, so we'd keep ourselves occupied.

I think it'd be great. We both like talking. 😃

God no, working together became unbearable after 2 years!

@TanMateix - It's a mistake to assume that everyone who won euromillions would want a change of lifestyle that would affect friendships. We have always lived well below our means, but regardless our lifestyle is the one we want. If we had a real fortune then we might move house (or not), I'd give up work, DH might actually work more because he could use money to fund a big project he'd like to do... Our fundamental life of hanging out with DS, long walks, films, making good food etc - that wouldn't change because we're already doing what we enjoy.

My hubby taking early retirement next year and I am a Stay at home home wife only for the last year as had some MH issues. We are buying a house in Crete and moving over with our dogs next year and won't be working I think we will be fine as we enjoy the same things and he is my best friend and because we married late in life we have alot of catching up to do. Money will be tight but with plenty of swimming and beach walks we will manage okay x

My PIL took early retirement at 60 - they're mid 70s now and utterly devoted to each other. They are lovely, warm people but have no friends. They are together 24/7 but never argue. They potter in the house/garden, go for a wander round the shops, stop for cake and coffee, watch telly. We don't live near them but when we do meet up they've always got lots to chat about. Fascinates me.

DH and I get on better when we spend more time together because we are more "in synch". His relationship with our kids, whilst always good, is also much stronger since he became self employed a few years back and is able to be more involved in their day to day lives. We can afford to do nice things together though which helps, we do have to watch our wine intake!

Me and DH work from home half the week so we see each other a lot and it's never been a problem. When we first started living together I was a PhD student and he was taking a career break, so we spent 24/7 together for stretches of days at a time. I think if we won the lottery and gave up work we would be happy to keep each other's company :)

I think lots of couples find adapting to retirement a challenge. Lots of our friends retired between 50 and 55 but had a few difficult years as they had to find a new way of living. One or two are driven to distraction by husbands who just don’t want to do much at all. It does seem to be more husbands who just want the newspaper then gardening or similar.
We made a conscious decision not to retire too early, in part because we enjoy our jobs and in part because we don’t want a significantly reduced income and just us. My husband is thinking about stepping down in a couple of years time but wants us to have a couple of holiday let's that he can look after. I am not ready to retire yet probably because I worked part time and didn’t focus on my career when the children were younger. I still want more seniority and challenge. I’d be happy to work whilst he did Airbnb and consultancy or a couple of paid non executives. Then who knows. Hopefully we’ll have grandchildren, hopefully I’ll also have non executive role or interesting voluntary work. We’ll travel for longer periods, take the boat of for a couple of months rather than a couple of weeks etc.
I would go bonkers sat looking at him all day. He would be quite happy just running the dog, falling asleep in the sun and ‘sorting things out’ for the children.

I'll find out in December when dh retires!! We are moving back to the UK, so some time will be spent sorting out the house, but then I want to go back to work, having given up my career to follow him. He will be off doing his own thing 3 days a week, weather permitting, so he won't be under my feet.