Is it possible to have an easy menopause / perimenopause?

[battenburg100]

I'm so scared about what the next few years entail for me in terms of the menopause / perimenopause.

The media is full of tales about how destructive it is to the quality of women's lives - anxiety, depression, memory problems, mood swings, hot flushes, home and work life negatively affected - the list goes on........

Do some women ever sail through it with minimal symptoms or are we all doomed to go through a really dark period in our lives?

I guess I hope to hear some positive experiences from Mumsnetters , that it doesn't have to be all that bad!

Thank you

Interesting thread, thanks OP. I also have similar worries.
Wondering if for those saying they've had fewer symptoms, that there's any correlation with how they've experienced their periods, age, general health/well-being? Or is it luck of the draw?

I had the odd hot flush and heavy periods but that was it.

Yes. I had one week of waking in the night feeling unbearably hot (I don’t really sweat so this was my version of night sweats) and then I took Menopace supplements and sailed through the menopause.

No problems whatsoever.

I do have slight short term memory problems but that’s most likely related to my being very ill with pneumonia and hospitalised for ten days.

No weight gain either as I have reduced my portion sizes as I’ve got older whereas I have noticed other women put on weight but they haven’t made the effort to eat less and they drink alcohol, which I don’t.

@battenburg100 - I am genuinely shocked that so many of you have had a relatively stress-free time of it - I didn't think that was possible!

I think people who sail through it don't have any reason to mention it unless they are asked whereas those who have a tough time are more likely to bring it up as they have a reason to discuss it. That means you're more likely to hear about it from people having a tough time.

KST telling it like it is

I'be had a pretty awful time with peri - started with that at 44. Periods haven't been too bad; I've gone from 5 days to 3, with the middle day v heavy, and a longer cycle, from 28 to 33 days. Hot flushes have been manageable.

The main problem I had was with my mental health. Crippling anxiety and depression, and a shockingly short temper. Awful memory loss and completely unable to deal with my workload. I almost lost my job, thanks to a very unsympathetic female CEO who is breezing through it. I requested a move to another department, because I could see what was going to happen and pre-empted it. Now on HRT and Prozac and it's made a huge difference.

My advice would be to talk about it, and fuck anyone who feels embarrassed by that. Don't be scared of going to the GP if you need help. I was eventually referred to a specialist - my Menopause Man! He said that women who have no children (e.g. Me) have five times more chance of getting perimenopausal depression. It's Mother Nature giving you one final, can't ignore, reminder to get breeding.

On the plus side, none of my friends who are my age have had any problems so far. My consultant said one in twenty have a shitty one, so eat well, exercise, be aware of symptoms, and hopefully you'll be one of the nineteen! :-)

It's true what somebody said about the hormones reducing that caring side.

Nature assumes my children have grown up and moved out but they are 13 and 16 and treating the house like a free hotel.

I had a dreadful time of it - one day I counted over 200 hot flushes by early afternoon. They were just constant, every 5-10 minutes, one after the other after the other. I was damn near suicidal. I had all the other stuff you read about too, huge flooding periods, mood swings, dreadful anxiety, palpitations, etc etc.

I went to the doctor and begged for HRT. I've been on it 8 months now and it's been amazing. All the symptoms gone. So should you be unlucky (and not one of my friends has suffered much at all, so I think I was particularly unlucky), you can get help. There's no need to suffer so try not to worry.

I had a total hysterectomy at 32 after lifesaving surgery, so immediately entered menopause - with hot flushes starting right at the beginning of last year’s heatwave. I can honestly say that it really isn’t the worst thing ever. Had a little difficulty finding the right HRT drug but I have now and they help a lot. I did have mood problems initially but they’re better now I’ve adjusted to things (and was probably worsened because of the stress and trauma of being ill and infertility - I was on the fence about biological kids and now that’s a definite no). So in short: it’s not that bad. Not something to lose sleep over!

I have just turned 54 and nothing noticeable has happened yet.
I've had weight gain but I out that down to having more money to indulge on nights out, treats etc and not exercising as much as I used to. However I've started losing weight again.
I think I will regret saying that I'm almost looking forward to a hot flush as I am always bloody cold!!

My last period was when I was 46, which is fairly early. I did not have any symptoms of peri- or menopause other than my periods becoming more spaced out and irregular.

I always had easy periods, easy pregnancy and, it appears, easy menopause.

I have had 2 children. My periods have always been regular though a shorter cycle of between 22-26 days which maybe accounts for the early-ish menopause i.e. my body exhausted its supply of eggs faster.

Not complaining as my family was completed long before 46. 'Tis liberating to no longer have periods or faff with contraception.

My sil has had a terrible time of it. Really frequent hot flashes (had to google that as so many on this thread are calling them hot flushes I was afraid I've been calling them the wrong thing for years ), difficulty sleeping, vaginal dryness etc. She went on hrt and it's been miraculous. I'd say see how you go but be open to things like hrt if you need it. It really seems to help.

Yes it is possible.

I have virtually no symptoms at all. (No HRT either).

I have the odd hot flush that passes in 5min but only really if I eat too much sugar.

Don't blame you for panicking though. I have read so much lately that just does not resonate with my experience.

Japanese women have an easier time of it apparently due to their diets

It's totally personal. I'm not menopausal, but work in a process in where we talk about this. I'd compare this to period. Media make sit sound like it's pure torture every month for every woman. But that's not the case for everyone. Same with menopause. Some dont even notice and some really suffer.

I had cystitis-like symptoms in my late 30s that the GP said were peri-menopausal. They were swiftly resolved by applying some hormone cream to my foof, so I guess he was right.

Like a PP, my menopause coincided with the onset of hypothyroidism, so it's kind of hard to be sure what's what. I had low mood, but not massive mood swings. I put on weight, but I'm a greedy bastard.

I only had hot flushes at night (at 1.15, 2.15, 3.15 and 4.15 - I really could set my watch by them). They disrupted my sleep, which made me feel really tired in the daytime. I got some herbal pills called Menopace from the supermarket and they seemed to work a treat.

My periods got lighter and lighter, and shorter and shorter. At 50, I went almost a year without one, then had a couple of days of spotting, then nothing. Hardly noticed it happening as far as my periods went, tbh. I'm also child-free.

Post-menopause, my tolerance for alcohol is much diminished. I used to have hollow legs, now a few glasses of wine or 3+ pints has me throwing up. Fortunately, G&T doesn't seem to affect me in this way.

On the plus side, the migraines that I suffered from terribly from the age of 16 are much improved. They're not as frequent, I don't get anything like as sick with them (haven't had to be hospitalised for rehydration for years) and they don't last anywhere near as long (a few hours as opposed to 3-4 days).

I have osteoarthritis, but that may be genetic (my mother had it). And over the last few years (I'm nearly 64), I've noticed a real deterioration in my memory, which is alarming, as both DPs had dementia.

Some people can have a trying time, others sail through it.
How your Mother experienced it, can be an indicator.
Reading about it is very helpful and lessened greatly my isolation when it started.

Drinking cold sage tea made with old raggedy sage from the garden was a revelation as I had been nearly going mad with hot flushes, sleeping badly and feeling so hot and sticky constantly.

One large pot of the tea got rid of them for a couple of months. They did return, but not half as bad some months later, but again a pot of the tea sorted them again.
Truly magic stuff.

Starflower oil is a great reliever of the urge to injure those around you and balance out your hormones.

Ditto a Complex B vitamin.

The above really took the edge off my irrational rage that used to come from nowhere when something or someone would piss me off.

The menopause has to be managed, not ignored.
Trying things to help with the symptoms can give you back a feeling of control.

Feeling fog brain, forgetting things is another symptom that is hugely helped by
L-Theanine & Lemon Balm.

It's also great after over indulgence on alcohol and gets rid of the emotional low.

Having a kind, informed doctor is very helpful.

Hair and skin change during this period, both may dry out.
Keeping both moisturised and using products geared towards maturing women is very important.

The key is to take care of ourselves.

47 and menopausal. Periods have gone very weird and irregular; it reminds me of being 12 again when they were new and I didn't know how to handle them - being caught out and bleeding on clothes etc! I get the odd wave of heat as well. My symptoms are identical to my mum's, and she was over the whole thing by 48 (same with her mother - I find it interesting how mothers and daughters often seem to have similar gynae/obstetric histories).

Overall, it's a bit annoying but fine. I'm conscious that I have to lose a bit of weight and get fitter, mostly avoid alcohol, get enough sleep because I'm feeling a bit knackered and old - think that might be a general middle aged thing rather than menopause.

Oh and I think the declining oestrogen is making me more assertive and less "feminine". I have zero tolerance for dickheads these days, it's great

Okay here too. Some hot flushes, probably over the course of one year, a bit of thickening around my waist and having to be a bit more careful about what I eat if I want to stay the same weight, and insomnia. But I’ve never been a great sleeper so it wasn’t such a surprise. Nothing awful, no mood swings or depression or anger issues.

I think I got off fairly lightly 😊

I've found HRT has helped with my menopause-induced anxiety, exhaustion and brain fog.
No hot flushes to speak of but I had quite a few months of extremely heavy periods before they stopped.

I had a year of HRT as the doctor was concerned about my osteoarthritis and mental health, then took myself off it with no symptoms whatsoever except for no periods. I think my mother was much the same as her behaviour never seemed to change.

Mind you, I've always had mental health issues so goodness knows if it's linked but I find myself hard to get motivated. I also can only drink very little but that might be medication linked.

I'd say I am peri-manopausal (I am 47).

My periods are somewhat all over the place and can be very heavy (though not as heavy as some ladies on here) but that's it. No other symptoms. Long may it stay that way. I can put up with having to wash a bedsheet every few weeks if that's the sum total of the inconvenience.

I do get headaches every month which can be a nuisance but they have definitely reduced in number since I changed my work and no longer commute, so some of that must have been down to tension rather than hormones.

Didn't have any real symptoms, other than finding it harder and harder to lose weight.

Totally agree with pp and the point that we are being brainwashed into expecting it to be baaaaad. And the medicalisation of the whole thing..perfectly healthy and happy women running off for blood tests to tell them they might well be about to enter "peri". So off they trot to Dr Google to learn that they're in for 10 years of trauma. And lo and behold it comes to pass. The media, the pharmaceutical companies, and yes, our doctors, are brainwashing us into believing Something Must Be Done.

The fact that women who already suffer from varying levels of health anxiety, who've already suffered badly with periods, who've had awful pregnancies and childbirth issues are then the ones who have horrific menopauses is probably not uncoincidental.

I went to my GP for a prescription and she said " oh, you're 50 ish, do you want hrt?"

I'm now 53. Aches and creaks (walk everywhere, plantar fascitis, a teacher who never sits down) but went from "fuck I can't be pregnant can I?" and "is anyone else boiling?" to "I appear to have gone through the menopause"

I have 2 close friends, both suffer from HA and though neither of them are menopausal yet, both are rigid with worry about how awful it's going to be.