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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it possible to have an easy menopause / perimenopause?

89 replies

battenburg100 · 31/05/2019 23:56

I'm so scared about what the next few years entail for me in terms of the menopause / perimenopause.

The media is full of tales about how destructive it is to the quality of women's lives - anxiety, depression, memory problems, mood swings, hot flushes, home and work life negatively affected - the list goes on........

Do some women ever sail through it with minimal symptoms or are we all doomed to go through a really dark period in our lives?

I guess I hope to hear some positive experiences from Mumsnetters , that it doesn't have to be all that bad!

Thank you

OP posts:

joystir59 · 01/06/2019 05:10

I'm another one who sailed through it. It is a natural process after all and not a medical problem

MrsSchadenfreude · 01/06/2019 05:30

No problems here either. Periods just stopped suddenly. This was a huge relief as I’d always had really heavy periods and terrible period pains. No hot flushes. Two bristly hairs on my chin, and that’s about it.

theculture · 01/06/2019 05:40

I'm worried too - my mum had hot flushes for over 10 years!

However she is still positive - no hassle of periods and no anxiety or mood changes during the peri part

ChangingStates · 01/06/2019 05:53

Pretty easy for me so far. Early menopause, am under 50. Periods just got more spaced out & lighter over a couple of years then stopped so no bleeding issues. It's now been a year since last period and I haven't had any hot flushes so far but over last couple of years have had some waking up very hot & a bit sweaty. I think probably some difficulties in terms of feeling down & anxious but during this time I had a close family member die and divorced so lots going on emotionally and not able to discern how much of my emotional state was that or menopause!

Nanalisa60 · 01/06/2019 06:06

I was really lucky!! I had my last period the month of my 50 birthday just as normal then next month it did not arrive, I have never had any night sweats!! Or hot flashes, I do take vagifem 10 micro grams as my libido just went out the window!! And these vaginal tablets seem to help. I have just sailed through the whole thing. I think it may be a genetic thing my mum and my auntie never had any problems with the menopause and my cousins have also just sail through it.

MontStMichel · 01/06/2019 06:29

My periods just petered out - one in July, one in November and no more. No symptoms like hot flushes! Absolute bliss to feel 15 again in that respect!

Mumsymumphy · 01/06/2019 06:32

Glad I've come across this thread!

I'm 44 and since last July I've now missed 3 periods.

Been reading up on perimenopause and have been scared to death wondering when the hot flushes/anxiety kicks in. It's reassuring to read all these posts about relatively symptom-free menopauses.

From what I'd been reading previously, I felt like the negative symptims were pretty much a given, so I'm glad to discover that it isn't always so! 👍🏼

yolofish · 01/06/2019 06:36

I didnt even know it had happened! had been on the mirena coil, which had been in too long, had it removed and then... nothing. Eventually had a blood test which proved it had happened.

DuchessOfRednecks · 01/06/2019 06:45

.
Im 49 and in the real menopause now. I get hot flushes but i just wait for them to pass. I had about 8 ystrdy. I remember my mother being really dramatic. Ripping off her top and opening the (back!!) door. So I thought holy crap what's coming, but when i get one, i just wait for it to pass.

My peri M was worse in some ways as i got a period every 26 days and at least every second one was so heavy i had to wear a pad and tampon.

Now they are back to being light and about every 6 weeks apart i think.

I worry when i read women say they feel likr they have dementia.

I need my brain at work. I cannot lose my concentration. I dread being shamed at work for making a mistake. That is my worry.

cricketballs3 · 01/06/2019 06:47

Sorry to put a damper on this thread but my symptoms started at 45/46 with bad mood swings, bad sleep patterns, brain fog although I'm on HRT due to prescription change (manufacturing issues with old prescription) my night sweats are horrendous (need to see GP for another change) to the point where I'm having to change mattress protector every day, never mind bedding

swingofthings · 01/06/2019 06:55

My friend had a few months of hot flushes and poor sleep and that was that. It totally destroy me, however only because of the effect it has had on my sleep. I don't many hot flushes, no vaginal dryness, no outburst of anger. What I have is now almost 4 years of coping with poor sleep despite everything tried and that comes with dreadful symptoms. If my sleep hadn't been affected so much (and Here I used to brag how I never had sleep problems in my life before), I would say that I'd sailed through it.

My advice is to trying as much as possible to avoid stress when it starts, that is if it's possible as it os often the combination of stress and the hormone imbalance that send you into a vicious circle of symptoms.

OneTownsVeryLikeAnother · 01/06/2019 06:58

I hadn't realised how much my periods had affected my life until they stopped. Last year I considered buying white jeans for the first time in about 30 years, and not having a period during the heatwave was lovely.
I have had some insomnia but I just lay quietly in bed and try not to move too much, not really had any hot flushes as such.

I think I'm a little less patient in some respects but I don't have boiling rage or anger. My friend explains it that we've lost the caring/ naturing hormone that we gained at puberty so now we just don't suffer fools gladly

I'm not interested in HRT, family history of cancer, plus I'd rather deal with stuff now while I'm younger than have to deal with symptoms in my 60s/70s.

TanteRose · 01/06/2019 07:03

I'm 51 and for the past 2 years, my periods having been getting closer together (every three weeks), heavier and more spotting between.
I actually got severely anaemic and took iron supplements for a while plus am taking tranexamic acid for the first couple of days of my cycle to prevent heavy blood loss.

My Japanese friends (I live here) have mostly sailed through- apparently soya and especially fermented soy products like miso are good for preventing menopausal symptoms.
And Japanese women are generally not overweight which also helps.

So I'm drinking lots of miso soup and cutting back on carbs especially at dinner.
Still drinking coffee but switched to gin instead of wine for my weekend tipple

Original poster

battenburg100 · 01/06/2019 08:35

Thanks so much everyone for your positive replies - you have all really helped calm my anxiety about what is to come.

I am genuinely shocked that so many of you have had a relatively stress-free time of it - I didn't think that was possible! You have given me hope that it might be OK for me too.

The highly negative media reporting of how the menopause / perimenopause affects women, made me so scared about what is to come, so thank you Mumsnetters for sharing an alternative, more positive view.

OP posts:

Oldraver · 01/06/2019 08:46

I had some horrid night hot flushes but got some cooling bedding that helped, a few daytime hot flushes where I would stand on the patio for while to cool down.

Periods just tailed off, though it has been replaced by more discharge that I have ever had (been tested nothing else going on).

All in all I would said it was quite easy. I do get more tired and ache for England but think I've been lucky

roisinagusniamh · 01/06/2019 08:55

I had all the classic symptoms , the worse bring insomnia and anxiety.
I am on HRT and it's working but how can we tell when we're through it ?
The GP said you just come off the HRT after a year and see how you are but I can't risk that as I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown .

LizzieSiddal · 01/06/2019 09:01

I had night sweats and difficulty sleeping for a good few years, but my main issue was mood swings. However I had terrible PMS so it was just like that and as my periods have become less frequent, the mood swings have become less frequent, so all good really!

I have also motored that’s it’s so important to look after yourself. If I’m stressed with life in general and not sleeping well, my mood swings/PMS were far worse.

So be kind to yourself, try to get lots of sleep and fuck everyone who tries to make your life difficult!

LizzieSiddal · 01/06/2019 09:02

*noticed

scaryteacher · 01/06/2019 09:07

Hot flushes, night sweats, insomnia, sometimes need a nap in the afternoon.

Sahara123 · 01/06/2019 09:09

Had a mirena coil for years due to awful periods so had no periods, it was taken out in my mid 50’s and... nothing ! Had been through the menopause without noticing !

noodlenosefraggle · 01/06/2019 09:13

I have two friends who barely noticed the menopause apart from their periods stopping and a bit of extra pmt. Both are child free. Not sure if that's a coincidence though. I'm hoping it is

happyhillock · 01/06/2019 09:16

I was the same as Sahara123, sailed through it with Marina Coil

WoollyMummoth · 01/06/2019 09:26

Night sweats and hot flushes for about a year, both have now stopped. It’s wasn’t horrific or terrifying, just irritating. Don’t think I was any more irritable than normal, my teenage DCs would probably say otherwise but then they’re massively annoying at the moment due to having raging hormones themselves.

NadeFC · 01/06/2019 09:27

I'm 44 and my periods stopped 10 months ago. I've had no symptoms apart from some hot flushes.
I worried about the menopause too as my mother suffered so bad.
I really didn't know I was going through it.

ushuaiamonamour · 01/06/2019 09:47

Had been wondering why the word 'perimenopause' was suddenly appearing so often on the netshould have guessed it was tabloids' most recent attempt to pathologise the perfectly normal.There's quite a history of belief, even amongst doctors, that menopause was harmful to mind & body; in fact, there used to be a diagnosis of 'involutional melancholy', a psychotic depression caused by the menopause--no doubt because a woman's fragile mind could give way upon the realisation that she could no longer fulfill her role of childbearing. (Also no doubt a factor is that when a woman's criticism can no longer be brushed off with 'it must be that time of month' there's now the rebuttal of 'she's just menopausal and cranky'.)

I had premature menopause as a side-effect of surgery. No problems. Absolutely wonderful to longer have to deal with periods & fear of pregnancy. It varies, of course: A friend had severe, chronic insomnia that was finally put an end to with replacement hormones.

Please don't let the less reputable media convince you that something so natural is inevitably harmful--not this, not a suddenly taboo food or using a ipad or sitting too long or whatever is to be the next scare. Though the equivalent of creating fears about a woman's body for men would be a rumour about the dire consequences of wet dreams, and I'd bet anything you like that even the Mail will never dare to try getting away with that one.

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