To not want to take DP surname because his ex did?

[justalittlemilk]

DP and I are engaged with no immediate plans of marriage but definitely at some point. He wants me to take his surname, and I would, but knowing his ex had his surname puts me off. They weren’t married but in a long term relationship with kids so she started to use his surname and often used Mrs. To the extend of my knowledge I think she still does use his surname, though it was never legally changed (again to the extent of my knowledge). Despite 8 years after separation they aren’t on speaking terms what so ever. Kids are older. We have one DS together who has his surname. I was happy to do his as his other kids have his surname.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

I kept my own name. Simpler all round and I prefer it

You can also e.g. get your employer to change your name on your payslips, which will be accepted as evidence to change your passport

Not in the UK.

My employer will only accept a marriage certificate or deed poll document to change your name.

The UK passport office will not issue a passport based on a payslip for ID.
You do know payslips can be fabricated dont you?

Don’t let his ex’s choices control your behaviour. That’s giving her too much importance in your life. Forget about her and please yourself.

You can’t just change your name! You’d need a change of name deed or to go via deed poll to have a legal name change. Sure you can assume a name like a nickname but it doesn’t make it your name.

I'm afraid you are wrong. As others have said, you may call yourself what you wish, provided it isn't for fraudulent purposes. Deed polls just tidy it up, but they are not legal necessity. It's a bit like the requirement for two forms of photo ID - you're fucked if you don't have PP or DL, but actually there is no legal requirement to have photo ID in the UK. We do not have identity cards. So back to changing your name without a deed poll, as I said , it tidies things up. The more traditional way to do it is to take an advert out in The Times