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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Colleague attention seeking

66 replies

Norrisskipjack · 31/05/2019 13:29

He’s a bit of an attention seeker but it’s got to the point where it’s embarrassing.

He’s not on my team but sits in an open plan office near me.

The last few days he’s produced an enormous prescription bag from his laptop bag and proceeded to lay out boxes and boxes of tablets across the desk. There’s emollient creams for eczema, some SSRI’s but the majority is over the counter stuff like paracetamol, Benadryl and a couple of multi-vits. He makes a huge show of taking all the tablets out and laying them out on the desk, then leaves them there all day.

No one has asked him about this but every now and again he says loudly ‘oh it’s tablet time! Totally forgot’ and then proceeds to rifle through the bag and pull out more boxes.

It’s incredibly annoying and distracting my team who are now making a bit of a joke out of it to be honest. I’ve quietly had a word and told them to ignore it and not to openly acknowledge that they’ve even seen it, but they’re young and it’s tough for them to keep straight faces now it’s become a running joke.

I’ve resigned myself to just ignore it and everyone else is too, but wtf?? What’s the motivation? I’d love him to stop but don’t want to bring attention to it and feed the behaviour iyswim.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 31/05/2019 13:36

Could you tactfully say that due to H&S the medication cannot be all over the desk but needs to be kept in the bag at all times?

Fromage · 31/05/2019 13:49

Start calling him the Doughbury Pillsboy.

Norrisskipjack · 31/05/2019 16:09
Grin

One of my colleagues bit today and asked him what’s wrong, apparently he has ‘blood poisoning’ Hmm

Yes, because you can treat that with emollient creams and Well-man Grin

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 31/05/2019 16:12

My MIL does this 😭 and as you say it’s like vitamins and COD liver oil and stuff. It’s hilarious

EssentialHummus · 31/05/2019 16:12

What does his line manager say?

KurriKurri · 31/05/2019 16:19

'Blood poisoning' ? - so he's saying he's got sepsis ? - I'd have said 'don't be ridiculous' to that. Sounds like he's got dry skin and hay fever.

It sounds incredibly annoying - I have very limited tolerance for attention seekers. When he gets all his pills out, can you just say ' could you put all those away please, it's very unprofessional to have them out all over your desk'

KurriKurri · 31/05/2019 16:21

Reminds me of my XH who was scratched on the hand by a cat and claimed to have 'lost all mobility' (apart from that needed to make his way to the pub obviously). Grin

Alsohuman · 31/05/2019 16:22

Obviously the only person who can say anything is his manager. Do him good if the entire office laughs at him. I would.

BettysLeftTentacle · 31/05/2019 16:24

He said he has sepsis?

Tell him you’re very concerned he’s come to work with a life threatening condition and make a big show of telling the manager. Tell him because of company/H&S policy/insurance, you’re going to have to take him to A&E and that you/colleague/manager will drive him or you’ll have to call an ambulance. Sit back and watch him shit himself.

Outanabout · 31/05/2019 16:25

KurriKurri I thought you were going to say 'apart from when he wanted a wank' 🤣

KurriKurri · 31/05/2019 16:29

Outanabout - that too I imagine - he was certainly a first class wanker Grin

Bigfanofcheese · 31/05/2019 16:34

My ex manager used to do this. She had one of those daily pill boxes stuffed to the gills and made a huge show of having it into the middle of her desk, fussing with it and taking pills throughout the day. Someone asked what they were and they were over the counter supplements. To treat a 'painful shoulder'. I felt sorry for her to be honest, seemed like she was playing out emotional distress (she had a bit of a strange and I think lonely life for various reasons) and wanted someone to ask her what was wrong.

mollpop · 31/05/2019 16:37

There's a man like this in my team. Medication laid out all over the desk and loads of sighing/groaning. If anyone asks about it, he launches into a lengthy monologue about what a tough time he's having. I'm convinced that it's wildly exaggerated attention seeking bullshit. In my experience, people who are genuinely struggling don't make a big show of it. Maybe we work in the same place Smile

Stravapalava · 31/05/2019 16:40

I'd deliberately misunderstand "tablet time" and tell him he should be doing work, not playing on his iPad. Smile

Cheeseandwin5 · 31/05/2019 16:43

Why dont you get your own or his supervisor to deal with the matter.
if it is effect your teams actions it will be something they hopefully want to deal with.

Toooldtocareanymore · 31/05/2019 16:45

tell him you have a headache coming on can you have a few paracetamol, then have a rummage through see if anything else you need, those emollient creams are good for your hands, ask him does he have any zinc or something he hasn't got tell him its really good for the blood, poor lad just wants a bit of attention might wear off if he's acting as a pharmacy for the whole office

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 31/05/2019 16:47

I’d be tempted to do a version of ‘hammer time’ at ‘tablet time’. 🚶🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️

overnightangel · 31/05/2019 16:47

Line manager needs to intervene here

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/05/2019 16:58

I'd tell him that your office is not a pharmacy and ask if he's planning on supplying drugs to the rest of the workers, since he has so many that aren't relevant?
I'd also pick him up on the "blood poisoning" by asking how he got it, where from, how long he's had it, what medications he's taking for it and then systematically destroy his "theory". But that's because I can't bear attention seeking malingerers/hypochondriacs who don't know what they're talking about.

TheTrollFairy · 31/05/2019 17:03

Most people who have to take a zillion tablets do so on the quiet because it’s annoying. I certainly wouldn’t be making it obvious if I needed to take them at work (I take a lot daily).
Get HR to email around to everyone and say due to H&S that all medication must be locked away/hidden from view and taken discreetly. I hate people like this!

GertrudeCB · 31/05/2019 17:10

KurriKurri I've just snorted my half of cider Grin

RB68 · 31/05/2019 17:11

you just need to tell him its not work related and he needs to pack it up and remove it from the office. If he needs medication during the day he should invest in a pill box that he can carry on his person.

CAn you imagine if everyone did this!

ScreamingValenta · 31/05/2019 17:12

I think you should raise it with his line manager.

His behaviour sounds ostentatious and annoying, but he might have genuine underlying health issues. If you take action without knowing the full story, you might find yourself on the receiving end of a grievance.

His line manager will know if there's a genuine problem, and can arrange a 1 - 1 with the colleague to discuss 'managing his medication' in a way that's appropriate to whatever his issues are.

Norrisskipjack · 31/05/2019 17:14

I know, I’m not well myself at the moment (liver related so I’m a fetching shade of pale yellow and absolutely knackered!) which is probably why this is annoying me more than it usually would.

I’ve told HR and my line manager that I’m unwell because we need a plan in case my op gets moved forward, but the thought of anyone else knowing and the sympathetic faux-concern I’d have to field fills me with dread Blush

I nearly asked today if he wants to swap Grin

OP posts:
FuriousVexation · 31/05/2019 17:15

Line manager needs to have a gentle, kindly word. Discreetly. Not turning up at his desk and saying "Andy, please come with me and this HR person to a meeting" so your whole team can snigger at him.

Yes, saying he had sepsis was ridiculous, but the degree of behaviour seems to indicate some deep emotional needs that aren't being met (and have perhaps been learned in childhood.)

Honestly I think it's unkind of you to not discourage your direct reports to stop laughing at him. (Or to put it another way, it would be kind to encourage your team to accept that everyone has their individual habits and rituals and it's kind to accept that as long as it's not interfering with them at work or personally.) I say this as a line manager of over 20 years. I have always encouraged tolerance and understanding and as a result my teams have always scored highly on their internal surveys in those areas.