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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Colleague attention seeking

66 replies

Norrisskipjack · 31/05/2019 13:29

He’s a bit of an attention seeker but it’s got to the point where it’s embarrassing.

He’s not on my team but sits in an open plan office near me.

The last few days he’s produced an enormous prescription bag from his laptop bag and proceeded to lay out boxes and boxes of tablets across the desk. There’s emollient creams for eczema, some SSRI’s but the majority is over the counter stuff like paracetamol, Benadryl and a couple of multi-vits. He makes a huge show of taking all the tablets out and laying them out on the desk, then leaves them there all day.

No one has asked him about this but every now and again he says loudly ‘oh it’s tablet time! Totally forgot’ and then proceeds to rifle through the bag and pull out more boxes.

It’s incredibly annoying and distracting my team who are now making a bit of a joke out of it to be honest. I’ve quietly had a word and told them to ignore it and not to openly acknowledge that they’ve even seen it, but they’re young and it’s tough for them to keep straight faces now it’s become a running joke.

I’ve resigned myself to just ignore it and everyone else is too, but wtf?? What’s the motivation? I’d love him to stop but don’t want to bring attention to it and feed the behaviour iyswim.

OP posts:
Kanga83 · 31/05/2019 17:23

His name doesn't start with a J and end in an N does it and you work down south? I've worked with a bloke who's done this every single summer for hayfever and colds. Looks, annoying comments with fake loud sniffles to boot while looking around waiting for someone to comment. It's ridiculously annoying. I moved offices but my goodness I could have swung for him Grin

Norrisskipjack · 31/05/2019 17:23

I have tried to discourage the team but without making it into a ‘thing’, I think addressing it directly like that would probably make it worse.

OP posts:
DameDoom · 31/05/2019 17:25

The older I get the less this kind of tomfoolery pisses me off. I can see where you are coming from though. Have a little inward eye roll or chortle but do not feed with attention.

NewFoneWhoDis · 31/05/2019 17:25

We've a hypochondriac in our office too. We've all learned not to ask how she is in response to her loud sighs. So now she just tells us unasked. Hmm

She is as healthy as a horse and has nothing wrong with her. She visibly bristles and hates it when someone else gets an actual illness or injury because they get attention. It's hilarious.

BabyBadger2 · 31/05/2019 17:27

If it's not affecting anyone's work, does it matter? I'd just continue to ignore.

lifetothefull · 31/05/2019 17:28

I find it's best just to give a bit of attention to start with. These people can always continue to raise their game of attention seeking behaviour to beyond your tolerance level if you completely ignore.

FuriousVexation · 31/05/2019 17:28

@Norrisskipjack

So you're happy with your team continuing to low-level bully a colleague?

joyfullittlehippo · 31/05/2019 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Norrisskipjack · 31/05/2019 17:34

furious wow. You just got that from absolutely nothing huh?

Of course not, don’t be ridiculous and goady, it’s unbecoming.

OP posts:
pantsville · 31/05/2019 17:35

Just ignore the poor bloke and leave him alone. He's not harming anyone. Sounds like it's not really annoying most other staff as they're highly entertained by taking the piss out of him. I keep imagining the possibility of one of my loved ones going to work being laughed about and sneered at like this and it's completely depressing.

pantsville · 31/05/2019 17:38

FuriousVexation is actually right though, step back and look at the situation.

MitziK · 31/05/2019 17:40

Ugh. Nothing worse than playing illness/disability Top Trumps. It's not a fucking competition.

CaMePlaitPas · 31/05/2019 17:42

'Blood poisoning' ? - so he's saying he's got sepsis ? - I'd have said 'don't be ridiculous' to that. Sounds like he's got dry skin and hay fever.

Well, I just nearly spat my drink out, hilarious.

Norrisskipjack · 31/05/2019 17:46

I’ve had a quiet word with the team (as mentioned in the OP) but if I escalate it any more it will get worse for him because at the moment they’re happy to still interact and joke WITH him about other stuff. If I escalate it and push the point he might have underlying issues, that’s likely worse than them thinking he’s just a bit of an attention seeker.

I think he’s gearing up to go off sick. He’s under performing a bit (nothing major) and I think that might be why he’s pretending to be unwell.

The tablets are the current thing annoying everyone, but he also comes in every day with a tragedy. So usually it’s I’ve only had 2 hours sleep in the last 5 days because I’ve been up all night every night helping my flat mate who’s trying to finish a project and can’t do it so I’m doing it instead’ and my personal favourite was when he told everyone he’d taken on a second job in the evenings (we work 40 hours but often more) to help his sister afford childcare until I pointed out we have a no moonlighting clause in our contracts Hmm. This is the same guy who told someone else he was an only child because he ate his twin in the womb Grin

OP posts:
Likethebattle · 31/05/2019 17:50

Every office has one.

Barbarafromblackpool · 31/05/2019 17:55

V annoying.

MagicKingdomDizzy · 31/05/2019 17:55

Reminds me of my mother.

Last week she was clutching her side, and told me she had broken her rib....

Had she seen a doctor? No
Had she been to hospital? No
Had she had an x-ray? No

It just 'hurt'. So of course it was broken.

Hmm
Norrisskipjack · 31/05/2019 18:04

I’m really trying to not be annoyed by it but I just don’t have the patience at the moment, I think that’s more my issue than his though Blush

OP posts:
MyNewBearTotoro · 31/05/2019 18:05

We have a colleague like this at work.

At least once a week he’ll come in limping or bent over clutching his back or talking in a hoarse voice. Ailments clear up as quickly as they appeared just to be replaced by new ones. He’s often sporting a bandage somewhere and has even come in wearing an eye patch before.

He’s also somebody who always seems to have something chaotic happening in his life as well, for example he’s been mugged twice in the last year. I’m sure this attention seeking is a symptom of much deeper issues but unfortunately offering him sympathy or acknowledging his injuries and ailments seems to make it worse. The best thing to do seems to be to just totally ignore whatever illness he’s presenting; everybody is friendly and kind towards him but just tries to sticks to impersonal topics such as the weather to avoid him trying to shoehorn another catastrophe into the conversation.

LakieLady · 31/05/2019 18:10

*Reminds me of my mother.

Last week she was clutching her side, and told me she had broken her rib....

Had she seen a doctor? No
Had she been to hospital? No
Had she had an x-ray? No

It just 'hurt'. So of course it was broken.*

Bloody hell! When I broke a rib, it hurt so much I would have accepted euthanasia if they told me it was the only way to make it stop.

ddl1 · 31/05/2019 18:23

It's not necessarily attention seeking. He may be preoccupied with his medication, especially if his need for this variety of medications is fairly recent. Maybe he has some difficulty in remembering exactly what he should be taking when, unless he makes a bit of a fuss to himself about it. That may also be why he leaves the tablets out: so that he won't forget them himself.

I would not make an issue of his preoccupation with his medication as such, or accuse him of attention seeking or ostentatiousness. That being said, it is clearly not a good idea for him to leave medication lying around, especially if clients or visitors sometimes come into the office. I would have a word with him about the safety aspects of this, or ask the appropriate person at work to do so.

MagicKingdomDizzy · 31/05/2019 18:49

LakieLady

I did tell her that if her rib had broken it would hurt to breathe, and we should call an ambulance. It soon felt better Grin

KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies · 31/05/2019 19:09

As a chronically ill person, I can see two sides here. I have pills which I hate to take morning and night, I've been doing this now for most of my life so its just occurred to me I've not thought about how most people I know don't have to do this. It's normalised, I think I mean.

But my memory is atrocious and I've tried loads to make sure I remember to take the right meds, at the right time, and reorder and collect them every four weeks.

I still fail at all of that (stupid cognitive issue and coordination. So if I was lucky enough to manage work, for someone to actually employ me, I'd probably spend half my time faffing with things like your colleague.

If he does genuinely have something ailing him, long-term, then you have to try and understand that even the most mundane seeming of symptoms can become all encompassing sometimes.

My life revolves around my stupid illnesses and the treatment I need. I mostly avoid talking to people because I have little to say except how shit or less shit I feel. Specially as whatever pain and other symptoms I experience tend to block out thought of anything else.

So on that premise, have a little compassion. He may be unable to deal with more than working andanaging his illness.

However, he does sound like an attention seeking twit. And from people's descriptions I can see how I must come across the same to others.

I agree it's not appropriate for him to have everything out in the open on his desk. He would be better using a pillbox he can fill at home. It'll reduce the faffing.

overnightangel · 31/05/2019 21:32

“This is the same guy who told someone else he was an only child because he ate his twin in the womb ”

....Hold on, can we rewind a moment?!!

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 31/05/2019 21:38

He sounds great.