Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When did going for 'therapy' become a thing?

239 replies

Outofinspiration · 29/05/2019 21:34

I have noticed increasingly on Instagram etc that more and more people (Instamums and the like) are posting about their 'therapy' sessions. How amazing they are, how everyone should go to therapy blah blah blah. And in real life in the last few weeks 2 of my friends have brought up something their 'therapist' said about this or that.

I thought therapy was an American thing? Is it just a posher, less 'NHS' version of counselling, or is it something different?

Does anyone here go for 'therapy'? Am I missing a trick, is this something I should be doing?!

OP posts:
continuallychargingmyphone · 30/05/2019 08:36

Nonsense

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 30/05/2019 08:37

sidalee that's not a very nice comment considering the OP has been pretty gracious in her replies.

Outofinspiration · 30/05/2019 08:38

I think the OP came in expecting everyone to agree with her and sneer at people having therapy. And then it backfired.

No I didn't, I said I posted it knowing I would get a bit of a roasting which I have. Also, some people have posted some really helpful stuff as well. I wouldn't expect people to sneer about that kind of stuff on MN tbh, I have been here a long time!

Nonsense

What is nonsense?

OP posts:
LemonRedwood · 30/05/2019 08:39

Who are you talking to continuallychargingmyphone?

insideoutsider · 30/05/2019 08:40

'Psychotherapist' is not a protected title so anyone can call themselves so.
However, qualified therapists MUST be registered with either UKCP or BACP. You can check your therapist's name on their registers.

As far as I know, to be registered with UKCP, you must have -

  • 4 years of post graduate training in a psychotherapy field (about £9000)
  • 160hours of therapy from a registered therapist yourself (£50 per session)
  • 450 hours of placement (in your own time), 600hours if working with children
  • 100 hours of supervision (1hour to every 4 client hours) (£60 per hour)
  • 50hours of baby observations (new requirements) +50hours of child observations (new requirements)
  • registration and monitoring by your registration body

All this before you can call yourself a psychotherapist and see your own clients.

  • extra training for specialization e.g. family, addiction, gender issues etc

You would train quicker and cheaper as a GP than a psychotherapist in most cases.

So, if you're seeing a UKCP registered therapist, you're with someone who has trained extensively to look after your mind and mental health for 1 hour every week.

Sidalee7 · 30/05/2019 08:40

Gracious?
Hmmmm
Have to agree to disagree on that!

continuallychargingmyphone · 30/05/2019 08:42

Absolute nonsense that anyone can afford £50 a week.

This is my issue with therapy, right there. If you can’t afford it, or if you can afford it but it isn’t really working for you, the blame is put squarely at your door.

It’s like a cult. ‘If you really believed ...’

Outofinspiration · 30/05/2019 08:43

The funny thing is, when I had a potentially life threatening illness last year which needed quite a lot of difficult treatment, I could have got counselling quite easily probably. But I didn't need counselling to deal with all that, weirdly I took that whole thing largely in my stride. I don't know what I would have talked about tbh so I didn't take it.

It's all the other niggly stuff, mostly totally unrelated to my illness, that I could do with getting sorted!

OP posts:
IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 30/05/2019 08:45

sidalee well let's not expect perfection from people. She hasn't been a dick about it, has she?

continually agree. It was seriously hard for me to afford 50 pounds a week when I was in the UK, if I had had kids or a mortgage it would have been impossible. Where I live now it's even more (around 80 pounds) and the wages are lower so it's really hard for me to afford.

Sidalee7 · 30/05/2019 08:46

If you are on a low income you can get discounted or free therapy.

If you are not you can afford it.

If you don’t want it or it’s not working for you - don’t have it!!!!

But don’t use money as an excuse

insideoutsider · 30/05/2019 08:47

Oh and forgot to add OP, a counsellor doesn't need to do all the above. You can do a 3 week Chrysalis course to qualify. This is because a counsellor is NOT the same as a psychotherapist.

BACP and other bodies have stricter qualifying criteria for counsellors though.

In my opinion, a counsellor works with you on the surface. A psychotherapist goes way into the source of your emotions, pain and behaviours.

continuallychargingmyphone · 30/05/2019 08:47

Nonsense. Plenty of people not on a low income would struggle to find an extra £200 a month.

continuallychargingmyphone · 30/05/2019 08:47

Are you a counsellor Sidealee? Hmm

Outofinspiration · 30/05/2019 08:48

Thanks IAmAlwaysLikeThis

I have openly admitted being a bit judgy about it, and the possible reasons for that.

OP posts:
jellycatspyjamas · 30/05/2019 08:49

However, qualified therapists MUST be registered with either UKCP or BACP. You can check your therapist's name on their registers.

That’s actually not true, I could relinquish my professional membership and still practice if I wanted to - which is the very nature of it not being a protected title. If it were protected there would be one professional body and clear expectations around training but there isn’t.

UKCP is fine if you want someone trained in psychodynamic modality, but there are many other very useful modalities used by therapists for which the BACP is probably a better starting point. But you can hold no professional registration and still practice as a psychotherapist.

Outofinspiration · 30/05/2019 08:49

You don't have to be on a 'low income' to not be able to find an extra 200 quid a month!

OP posts:
darkriver19886 · 30/05/2019 08:50

I pay for my therapy out of my PIP. The way I see it PIP is there to improve my quality of life as a disabled person (I have other disabilities but my mental health is a huge barrier.)

I only started accessing private therapy after being massively failed by the NHS for years on end.

kungfupannda · 30/05/2019 08:50

I've just had a year of therapy, and yes, it was a luxury. I wasn't in crisis - I just knew I had some unresolved issues from a difficult family situation when I was young.

I now have a much better awareness of why I react to certain things in a particular way, and I can therefore manage those reactions.

I could afford it without putting strain on the family finances, but I did prioritise it over other 'non-essentials.' To a great extent I treated it in the same way as I treat a long-standing back issue - it's not usually bad enough for me to go through the lengthy GP referral process (although I have been through that process a couple of times) but it's often niggling enough for me to pay privately for a couple of physio sessions. I'm fortunate to be able to afford to pay, but I don't consider that doing so is self-indulgent, although I suppose it is a luxury, in the sense that I could manage without it.

In an ideal world, we would all have instant access to non-essential, but beneficial, healthcare, just as an ideal society would provide equal educational opportunities, equal access to housing etc. Unfortunately, we don't have that ideal society, but I don't think that the way forward is to dismiss therapy/private health treatment as self-indulgent or attention-seeking, but rather to talk more about the benefits, in the hope of improving and widening provision in the future.

Sidalee7 · 30/05/2019 08:50

No I’m not a counsellor but therapy has definitely helped me hugely and I was not on a high income at all - I had been left with two young children in a very precarious position.

It’s not a luxury or self indulgent- it’s literally lifesaving.

continuallychargingmyphone · 30/05/2019 08:51

Oh f course you don’t, and if you are on a low income, every penny has to count.

I would never have paid for therapy over feeding my children a healthy diet or buying them shoes or even something like tutoring. What an unpleasant and judgemental comment.

continuallychargingmyphone · 30/05/2019 08:52

You must have been on a reasonable income Sidealee

For most people, £200 is a massive chunk out of a monthly income.

jellycatspyjamas · 30/05/2019 08:52

Oh and forgot to add OP, a counsellor doesn't need to do all the above. You can do a 3 week Chrysalis course to qualify. This is because a counsellor is NOT the same as a psychotherapist.

Evidence of this please - I don’t rate Chrysalis as a training organisation at all but I know they aren’t offering 3 week qualifications.

TheDarkPassenger · 30/05/2019 08:54

Not a fad for me. I fucking hate it. I have bipolar and it mentally and physically exhausts me for the rest of the day. Exploring all this shit deep in my brain bloody hurts and I can’t be arsed I’d be happy just living off my medication

Sidalee7 · 30/05/2019 08:54

It depends what you call a reasonable income I guess. I prioritised it over non essentials.

continuallychargingmyphone · 30/05/2019 08:56

You do realise a lot of people working are struggling to get through month to month with essentials?

£200 a month. £2400 a year. That’s what I take up every month after tax. So basically, 1/12 of my income should go on therapy and if I can’t afford that, well I’m making excuses. What absolute nonsense.