When did going for 'therapy' become a thing?

[Outofinspiration]

I have noticed increasingly on Instagram etc that more and more people (Instamums and the like) are posting about their 'therapy' sessions. How amazing they are, how everyone should go to therapy blah blah blah. And in real life in the last few weeks 2 of my friends have brought up something their 'therapist' said about this or that.

I thought therapy was an American thing? Is it just a posher, less 'NHS' version of counselling, or is it something different?

Does anyone here go for 'therapy'? Am I missing a trick, is this something I should be doing?!

If people have a medical issue they would see a doctor, so it makes sense to see a therapist for an issue that can affect your mental health.

That's interesting - quite a few people I know seem to 'go to physio' a lot for various things, but this is something I've never done either. There have been a few times where I probably could have (back/neck stuff, leg strain etc) but it's never been 'bad' enough that I would actually go through with paying the money and although it's taken longer, it usually has resolved itself in the end. Its not in a heroic 'I dont need it, I'm going to power on through' way, just in a 'is this money worth spending' sort of way. But lots of people spend loads on private physio. And I think if it was that bad you would get NHS physio wouldn't you, I don't know actually?

But why does it need to be 'that bad' before you do something about it, if you can afford to do so? You don't get any prizes or kudos for putting up with stuff. As it happens, I've had NHS physio on more than one occasion, along with some other treatments. But the problem isn't ever going to be fixed as it's down to a congenital issue that required multiple surgeries when I was younger. It's just a question of managing it. So I could go to the GP and ask to be referred every time it flares up, and they'd refer me, and I'd wait, and then have some treatment and it would settle, until the next time, when the whole cycle would repeat - or I can just manage it in a timely and appropriate manner, by paying to see someone within 24 hours, and not being in pain any longer than I have to be. That means I can get on with living a full and unrestricted life.

That's essentially what I did with my mental wellbeing - I was in a position to improve things, so I did. If I find myself needing further help, I'll do it again, as long as I could afford it without putting strain on the family finances.

It rather feels as though you think that people should be in physical or mental crisis in order to seek treatment of any sort, and if it's not 'that bad' then it's a failing not to just push on through. That stigma is something that is hopefully being erased by people seeking help, and being open about doing so. I always rather made a virtue of having dealt with my issues and moved on. Until I realised that the big internal song-and-dance I was making about having dealt with it, almost certainly meant that I hadn't dealt with it at all.

When it comes down to it, we're the only ones who have to live inside our own heads, so it's down to each of us to decide what we need to do in order to do that as well as possible. It's a massive shame that there is a financial barrier to accessing services, but the more people talk about the need for these services, the better chance there is that those services will improve. I'm now helping to fundraise for a local charity which, among other things, provides mental health care on a sliding scale of costs. The therapists do private work, and also offer subsidised/free sessions for people on low incomes.

Kungfupannda - totally agree about people thinking they have to be at crisis point to seek help. I hope it's a generational thing. For instance when I was growing up there was no such thing as a school counsellor, you took your chances talking to a teacher who then often as not would repeat everything you said to your parents, a child psychologist was for the naughty kids who never came back, Childline didn't exist, depression was 'fixed' with Valium, group therapy was just Alcoholics Anonymous, the Samaritans were for the suicidal, anything else was just an episode of Frasier. Mental was just mental, it wasn't mental health. In my family 'we don't do that' was the attitude towards seeking help with mental health issues, it was telling other people your business, it was letting the side down, it was a sign of weakness, it wasn't 'normal'. What other people might think was more important than the thoughts in our own heads.

Things have changed, there are different foundations from an earlier age, talking is talked about, but social and financial barriers remain and prevent people seeking real face-to-face one-on-one help when they think they might need it, rather than when they are already much deeper in to what's is troubling them. We strive to maintain and fix and restore and overhaul so many other parts of our lives, our weight, our appearance, our homes, our cars, our finances, our careers - and yet we often just hope for the best with the never ending loftspace of our heads. Out of sight really isn't out of mind.

The NHS supporting Talking Therapies and the IAPT system is great but in danger of always being a postcode lottery as to what help you can get. GPs still need to listen and directly refer patients, not just point them them at IAPT and leave them to it to wait for weeks to be seen. Because just knowing help is easily accessible is hugely supportive in itself when you feel thing's aren't OK. Many private therapists offer subsidised sessions but still may be out of reach financially or geographically and as Kungfupannda has highlighted it may fall to fundraising and charitable organisations to enable affordability. We still need to talk about mental health and also understand the domino effect mental health issues can have on others. It's about everyone, but starts with being kind to yourself by seeking help if you think it could be beneficial. Only by talking about it will accessibility and acceptability remain an issue that needs to be addressed.

why does it need to be 'that bad' before you do something about it?

This. A million times this. I now work in MH and the number of people who answer the question "And how long have you been feeling like this?" with "5+ years" is heartbreaking. 5 years of pointless suffering, that they can never get back, that could have been joyful. And by then, the problem is often much harder to fix. If we could have a culture where, after 3-6 months of not feeling right, people were able to recognise it as more than a few bad days in a row, and to seek help for it, we would all be better off.

When I was a young adult, therapy was just for those crazy Californians. Like lots of things that seemed crazy initially, it has become mainstream for those who can afford it.

I do get irritated though at being told all the time on social media how men don't talk about their feelings and bottle things up. IME young men are much more open about their feelings than either women or men my age. We were brought up to just get on with it.

I do get irritated though at being told all the time on social media how men don't talk about their feelings and bottle things up. IME young men are much more open about their feelings than either women or men my age. We were brought up to just get on with it.

I'd like to address some of these points.

Men very often don't talk about their feelings. They are 3x more likely than women to commit suicide. Suicide is the leading cause of death in men aged 20-49.

There may be some more openness in the younger generations than in the older ones, but the problem of male reticence continues. I recently met a 9 year old boy who would not talk to me with his mother present, because he felt he had to look after his mother and didn't want her to worry - he actually said "men don't whine though, do they?" (his mother was fine, btw, if a little concerned about her son). Performative masculinity can be deeply damaging, and it isn't going anywhere.

There is a real problem of untreated mental health issues in the elderly. The Department of Health estimates that 40% of older people have a mental health problem, rising to 50% of those in hospitals and 60% of those in care homes. Difficulties in addressing this come partly from age discrimination and partly from these generations having been taught, as you say, to "get on with it". That's why they live with mh problems for years, entirely needlessly.

I'd like to add that "just getting on with it" is not a virtue when help is available, nor is it possible when things get really severe. It's rather sad to think of millions of people suffering needlessly because they were brought up to "just get on with it."

That phrase really does indicate a stigma and a trivialisation of mental health problems. I hope today's children grow up in a more compassionate and understanding world.

I am not saying that just get on with it is a healthy attitude. But when I was young most people had no choice.
I am well aware of the rate of suicide amongst men. But I do think the issue of suicide ideation and mental health problems in older people is totally ignored. And I do think it is because we are old. Believe me when you get older society tells you quite clearly that you no longer matter.

Kungfupannda - totally agree about people thinking they have to be at crisis point to seek help. I hope it's a generational thing.

I think things are definitely changing for the better. If my family had been a bit less ‘stiff upper lip’ when I was a child then I might never have needed to look for support as an adult. But people tended to think that they had to get on with things and get over things, and that falling apart wasn’t an option.

And I agree with everything Hoppitychicken and Tableclothing have said.

But they did have to get on with things. I am older. In the past there was anti depressant tablets and psychiatrists for serious mental health problems. There was no counselling on the NHS at all. If you wanted to talk to someone you rang samaritans, or talked to your GP, or if religious, your priest. So people had no choice but to get on with it, and of you fell apart you went into a mental hospital.
So getting on with it was not a choice, it was a reality.

jenny I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at.

In the past there was anti depressant tablets and psychiatrists for serious mental health problems.
This is still true. 70 million antidepressant prescriptions last year (NB they're often only prescribed a month at a time, but that is still a lot of people using meds to get by).
If you wanted to talk to someone you rang samaritans, or talked to your GP, or if religious, your priest.
This is still very largely true.
If you fell apart you went into a mental hospital.
Still true, on the occasions there are enough beds.
There was no counselling on the NHS at all.
This is the bit that has changed, happily, but there is still a very long way to go. People who access talking therapies via the NHS are typically offered 6-8 30 minute sessions of low intensity CBT based work (i. e. not much, and certainly not hours lying on a sofa yakking about their childhoods as is sometimes imagined) This therapy is usually available via phone or online as well as OOH, because the people using it are often holding down full time jobs, caring for their families and/or studying as well. They are very much getting on with it, despite their difficulties.

I guess I'm just not sure what you're saying. Is there anything we can help you with?

I am saying that there was no talking therapies. There are now. So often people really had no one to talk to unless they rang Samaritans. And as well as talking therapies of 6-8 weeks, I know my area runs specific longer term therapy groups, plus there are crisis teams and CPN nurses. So yes there is a lot more support now than in the past.

I bloomin love my therapist. She's straightened me right out. I'm a better person already and that's great for everyone around me.

I'm lucky that my health insurance pays for her and that she's such an amazing person generally. She's a real role-model to me, I wish everyone could have what I have (in terms of therapy and therapist).

I have had counselling and it did not help at all.

I had CBT which gave me the tools to deal with my OCD and anxiety- loved it. I was lucky in the fact that I had extended CBT on the NHS because my therapist was near the end of some extra training. I was recorded and helped her in her studies. She was already fully trained, but doing a higher level or something.

I tried hypnotherapy. I liked it at the time but it didn't help long term like CBT did.