Asking dogs to be on leads

[Azuresilver]

My son is scared of dogs. We've done our best to try to get him used to them but he is still scared when they run up to him. Today we were sitting outside a cafe, which is popular with dog owners, it is the only one in our local park. Some people with a dog came to sit at the next table and allowed the dog to run around freely. It came over, sniffing under our table. My son stood up and tried to hide behind my chair. I asked them to keep the dog away, explaining that my son was scared.

They put the dog on the lead rather grumpily. A friend came over with his dog on a lead, to chat to me. The people at the next table then let their dog go (with the lead trailing), so it went straight under our table again. My son again moved away. I looked across and the owner asked me "Doesn't he mind the other dogs?". I ended up apologising, gulping my drink down and leaving with my son (and friend with his well behaved and under control dog).

AIBU expecting people to keep their dogs away from our table in a cafe?

I agree that the owners should have kept the dog at their table.
However we’re you sitting outside? You may have been better indoors if your DS is nervous

How nasty of the dog owners to purposely scare a child. Thank goodness most dog owners aren't like that. Dog should be kept under close control, it doesn't matter whether there's another dog present that your child isn't scared of, that's completely irrelevant.

Laiste There's going to be a minority of posters on here wondering why they should ''kowtow'' by keeping their animals under control.

Given you specifically quoted me, just to say - I don't have dogs. So your comment towards me is not applicable.

Feeling mixed on this, I personally put my dog on a lead if kids are close by as I know he'd go up all friendly but I grew up without pets and remember feeling intimidated by them.

I think YABR to explain in a friendly way but YABU to expect it.

I think the key is to be polite and friendly.

But also to respect that we all go to the park and cafe for different reasons, most of which to enjoy it.

YANBU. Dog should have been on lead in a cafe setting. Sorry your DS had to go through that.

Yabu to not expect dogs off lead in a park!

I was going to tell you to wind you neck it, when I started reading this, as I usually find posters who come on complaining about dogs are totally unrealistic. I love seeing dogs in cafes and would go in BECAUSE it’s dog friendly, even if I don’t have one with me.

However, in this case I totally agree with you. Dogs should either be on leads or under control of their owner, not wandering around the cafe. That’s very different from them being of lead in a park or beach. I look after dogs and would not be impressed if someone let their dog come over to my more nervous ones, in a closed in area, such as a cafe. I don’t understand people who don’t like dogs, but I respect their right to feel like that and always try to prevent my dogs from bothering people.

Dogs should be on leads and not allowed to approach people without consent.

It is a shame that so many dog owners don’t understand basic pet-owning etiquette.

When you say you were “outside the cafe” and “in our local park”, do you mean sitting at a table on the grassed area? In my local park, this area is part and parcel of the park and might be where dogs needn’t be on leads. I’m not sure that is quite the same as being `’in” a cafe where YANBU to expect dogs to be in leads...

BuzzShitbagBobbly - dog owner or not you've voiced your opinion and it is a minority one.

Still applicable for me to wonder if, when a poster finds their opinion so out of kilter with everyone else, they have a rethink at all?

In woods or fields my dog is off lead. In parks, cafes & car park dog goes on a short lead. YANBU

YANBU op. Dogs in cafes should be on leads.

I am a dog owner and I would always have my dog on a lead and under control at our table in a cafe (usually between my feet).

And I always keep her close to me as we are leaving as she has a good eye for dropped morsels. YADNBU.

I cant stand entitled dog owners. The other day my 2 dc’s and i were sat outside at a cafe when a couple sat next to us with a large dog. Next minute the dog came over (they’d let go of its lead) and nicked my daughters food straight off her plate! We were just sat there open-mouthed. They did apologise and offered to replace the food however what really pissed me off was the woman then saying “oh, he’s so naughty - he does it all the time!!
Why the fuck would u let it roam around near other peoples tables then? Fucking idiots!

I’m going to suggest that you are being a little unreasonable here. You were sitting OUTSIDE the cafe, so basically, at a table in a park. If you were inside, of course dogs should be on a lead. But outside, there’s no reason for it.

I am no 1 dog lover!.However even I can see that dogs (to me )in a cafe are a big no no.Apart from the obvious health issues ,it is not fair to them or anyone else to be present when there is food around!.I realise that not everyone likes dogs and am mindful of that .Our snacks when out ,consist of a water bottle and not much else tbh!.If I meet up with a friend we have a chat WITHOUT them!

YANBU. Dogs should always be under control in public, dog friendly or not.

I'm confident with dogs, I grew up with gentle, giant breeds. Sadly, innumerable feckless owners of "friendly" (aka, poorly controlled dogs) have caused my children's fear by allowing their dogs to get overly personal in my children's faces and ignored their distress and failed to recall their over-hyped dog. No amount of confident modelling from me has helped, only time is helping as they gradually get taller than most dogs.

I like dogs, but there is a significant minority of inconsiderate owners who allow their dogs to be a public nuisence upon the rest of society.

Our dog is pretty much permanently off the lead but...has total 100% recall. When other dogs are walked on lead we call him back to heal. In a cafe he wouldn’t budge from under the table. I can see why you would be annoyed.

Please consider finding someone who works with frightened children and adults. I did a bit with a friend who is a professional trainer because she knows our dog is pretty much bomb proof. She did small workshops where two/three children at most were introduced to dogs. Dogs maintained a calm lying down no threatening position so not to scare children. Once they had built confidence we moved dogs to standing position etc until children were happy with dogs walking around. The children and adults got a lot out of it knowing the dogs were totally under control. Please look into this. Not nice to live with a fear that can be solved.

FWIW ours is a big lab but a complete softy.

I’m a huge dog lover and dog owner but YANBU.

Your son’s fear isn’t actually relevant to the issue (I mean that in a nice way). The fact is, dogs should be on leads in cafes/restaurants/pubs. They aren’t places for dogs to roam around.

I'm not scared of dogs, but it pisses me off when people allow their dogs to roam freely around cafes and pubs and intrude on other customers. It's annoying and rude

YANBU

Our dog is a part of our family and our lives. She is with us on most days out and every holiday, however, she is never allowed off her lead in a pub, café or restaurant. For her own sake as much as any person or child that is not so keen on dogs.

YANBU dogs should be on a lead in eating areas and the dog’s owner was BVU by letting his dog walk over to scare a child.

I have a child with a dog phobia which has been caused by badly behaved dogs!

If the cafe was in the park and you were outside of course there's loose dogs. I have one that doesn't approach strangers thankfully but it's normal for dogs to be scrounging food at the cafe in our park. There's lots of coffee shops around that ban dogs, parks are just different. If your son accepts your friends dog he can't be that scared. Ok owners should call them away but most kids actually like stroking dogs, I spend so much time asking them to leave my grumpy creature alone!

YANBU . We regularly take our dog to cafes, and would never dream of letting him off the lead in one (he would cause chaos!!).

The dog owners you had to deal with will jeopordise access to the already limited choice of dog friendly cafes, for all dog owners.

YANBU at all. If we leave aside your son's fear of dogs there are still a number of reasons why dogs in cafes should be on leads and under control of the owner at all times.

It is dangerous to have free range dogs in a public area where hot food and drinks are being carried around. Some dogs are not trained not to beg so can be a pain for other customers. Multiple off lead dogs is a recipe for tension and possible fights as you cannot predict the dynamic of a group of dogs that are unknown to each other. I'm surprised the staff didn't have a word with them. We have lots of dog friendly places locally and I'm quite sure I would be asked to leave if I did not keep my dog under control.

Then there's your son's fear of dogs; a little consideration is not unreasonable. I met someone with a fear of dogs once, my dog was off lead in a place where it was permitted, as soon as I saw the person backing away I called my dog to heel, put him on a lead and apologised. My dog had done nothing wrong but I was sorry that the other person had become anxious by his proximity.

Sorry to say you encountered a selfish and irresponsible dog owner, there are too many of them about but we're not all like that. The law states that dogs need to be kept under control, be confident when you ask someone to put their dog on a lead in a situation like that and don't feel bullied by them if they behave like an arsehole.