To think it's not rude to tell someone they're spelling your name wrong?

[ZorbeeAndTheLemur]

DH and I run a business together. A supplier of ours, with whom we spend quite a substantial sum of money each month, repeatedly spells my name wrong on emails and invoices, despite the fact that I obviously spell it properly on my emails to him. He never spells DH's name wrong, and my name is a pretty popular well known name, and is not difficult to spell.

He emailed me today spelling my name wrong and in my reply I mentioned that he regularly spells my name incorrectly and could he please amend his records to spell it correctly in future.

DH says it was rude to correct him but it really has been annoying me. Especially as it's a popular name and as I regularly email him with my name spelt correctly when I sign off the email at the end.

sorry can't get that hung up about it - I regularly get called the wrong name in emails or spelt wrong - first name and surname - I just laugh and certainly wouldn't embarrass the person by pointing it out

YANBU, it is the supplier being rude!

YANBU. What's rude is spelling someone's name wrong in the first place when you actually have an email from that person and can see the correct spelling right in front of you.

YANBU at all. It’s rude and disrespectful to repeatedly spell someone’s name wrong when it is clearly there in black and white.

YANBU

Not rude in my opinion. I do think it’s possible that, having once decided how your name is spelled, he genuinely hasn’t noticed that you are spelling it differently to the way he does on every email. I am sure I have read that, if you know what something says, when you see it written, you recognise it even if it is misspelled, especially if the first and last letters are right.

Obviously this isn’t an exact parallel because you are spelling it correctly and it is the word in his head that is incorrect - but it might explain why he hasn’t noticed that you are spelling it a different way to his, on every email.

The other option is that he has noticed, but doesn’t think it matters because you are female, which is a much nastier thought.

Yanbu. It is rude and ignorant

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I wouldn't of corrected him.

It's not rude at all. Your husband sounds like a milquetoast.

I wouldn't of corrected him.

I, however, would have corrected him. I just can't help it.

YANBU and your husband might sound like a milquetoast if I knew what that meant. He sounds like a wet blanket to me

As someone with an Irish name, I'm use to it being spelled and pronounced wrong and I do correct some people (mainly my boss at work who I correct on a daily basis) but some people either just don't listen or care so I give up after a while and just don't respond to them now. I was called rude the other day for not answering someone I've know for a couple of years but I called them out for being rude for not taking the time to learn how to pronounce my name. This person themselves have quite a hard name to pronounce but I took the time to learn it.

Oh I love milquetoast. Not used enough in my opinion.

It's not unreasonable at all, it's manners. Perhaps he just hasn't noticed, or has a form of dyslexia and didn't see that it was different, who can say. But now you have pointed it out to him, hopefully he will start getting it right.

If he doesn't, then that's incredibly rude, and perhaps you should find another supplier. If he's not willing to take care and attention on this, then what else doesn't he take care and attention with in regards to your account....?

How bad is it? I mean if it’s something like Mathew spelled Matthew, supplier might just not have noticed.

I have an unusual Irish name which can be spelled in a number of different ways so I’ve given up all hope of ever having anyone use the right one.

I had a colleague who did this despite my name on the e-mail and in the signature. I have a double letter and he used to change it to a single and double another letter. E.g he’d write Dear Phillipa (not my name but similar structure l), rather than Dear Philippa. My name is more common than that and it sounds different if you don’t spell it correctly. Told him numerous times then just started to call him ‘criag’ Rather that ‘craig’

Depends how you do it really. Polite but firm, great. Bit abrupt, not so much.

It doesn't bother me, I might've increased the size or changed the colour of my email signature though.

My sweet next door neighbour gave me a card and a pot plant for my first mother's Day this year, completely the wrong name on it. Say my name is Katie, she wrote Doreen, not similar in any way and from a different generation 😁. I told her after she called me Doreen twice, 'thank you so much Joyce that's such a thoughtful gesture, I'm Katie though' she absolutely cracked up and kept asking me who Doreen is, I have no idea, but lovely NDN is 86 and that might have something to do with it. We have a good friendly relationship though and often have a laugh and a joke, so it was easy to raise.

I think if it was bugging you, you should've said something, so long as it was polite I don't see an issue.

I get this all the time, drives me mad. I think autocorrect has a lot to answer for in my circumstance but there are plenty of emails that don't come from a phone where the people are just being lazy and making assumptions.

Mines the more unusual way of the two ways of spelling it but it's not that unusual at all!

I don't think you were being unreasonable OP, especially as a paying customer, a little respectful service never goes amiss!

I have a name that can be spelt more than one way and people never get it right. I've learned to ignore it.

What does annoy me though is people calling me by a nickname. There's one person I email frequently through work and she always writes "Dear nickname". I've never used that nickname, never want to, and have always signed my emails and referred to myself by my full name. But she is relentless. So minor but I find it so presumptuous and unspeakably rude!

Katie vs Doreen!

Not wrong at all, it's basic courtesy to check you're spelling the name of the person you're addressing properly.

DS2 has a very common name spelled as it's said (there's a saint and everything) however it doesn't stop it being misspelled relentlessly and it winds me right up. I didn't spell it in the traditional Irish way because of that, but now wish I had!

There's a few folk at work with Irish names too which I can read and spell fine but others complain about. Very rude indeed!

It doesn't bother me particularly, but then having lived all my life with a name that has about 6000 different spellings I've got pretty much used to it.

Nobody spells my name correctly. I only correct it if it's on anything official or going to have the knock on effect of being used for reference for anything official. If people ask directly obviously I tell them but meh, who cares enough to make a fuss? I'd rather have a different name, but I'm too old to change it and it would be too much faff...

A colleague once emailed my line manager to point out a typo in case notes that I had completed but in her joyful rush to point the finger, spelled my name wrongly.

Line manager forwarded the email to me, with her usual "oops, put it right" comment. I sent it straight back, cc'ing the colleague with the comment "That's not me. Best send it to whoever wrong spelling is"

Some days I just had a little imp on my shoulder, I swear it.