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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding invite no partner

62 replies

doggymom23 · 27/05/2019 16:44

Been invited to colleague’s wedding 300 miles away and no invite for my husband (understand that numbers can be limited). I know one other person going to wedding who lives locally to venue. AIBU to decline invite when it will cost me £200 to get there plus 2 nights’ hotel and gift? I would always give £100 for full day invite but tempted to give less as only me invited.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/05/2019 16:45

Absolutely decline. It would be fun to go without DH to a local wedding to meet a load of work mates, but this does not sound like fun. I would send a polite apology and then later a card with a small gift.

Original poster
doggymom23 · 27/05/2019 17:23

Thanks! Any other views?

OP posts:
MRex · 27/05/2019 17:26

If you don't fancy going then just say no. It doesn't sound like you'd have much fun, so have a holiday instead.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/05/2019 17:26

I wouldn’t go. And I love weddings, well going along with my husband.

Sparklesocks · 27/05/2019 17:29

I would decline too I think, I like my colleagues but I wouldn’t spend that sort of money on a wedding for them, especially without my husband if I didn’t know many people.

1CantPickAName · 27/05/2019 17:31

I wouldn’t go. I hate going to weddings or parties alone if I don’t really know anyone. It’s a lot of money to spend two days alone, unless you need the break

DaisiesAreOurSilver · 27/05/2019 17:31

Decline.

VickyEadie · 27/05/2019 17:32

Attending a wedding you've been invited to is not obligatory.

You have several good reasons for not going. Don't go if you don't want to.

Gth1234 · 27/05/2019 17:32

I might not go 300 miles, with both of us invited - No partner is a definite non starter, although it depends how close you are.

I can't stand the idea of distant weddings, personally

Fatasfooook · 27/05/2019 17:33

No way would I go

Hahaha88 · 27/05/2019 17:33

Why are they getting married so far away? If they are your colleague I'm assuming they live near you? Off topic I know.
I wouldn't go. Tbh they probably don't expect you to.

LellyMcKelly · 27/05/2019 17:33

Decline. If they’d really wanted you to go they’d have invited your DH.

Cryalot2 · 27/05/2019 17:35

Your choice but with us it is , we either both or neither go.
I wouldn't be as generous with gift either.

Iloveacurry · 27/05/2019 17:36

No I wouldn’t go. 300 miles is long way to travel by yourself. I wouldn’t fancy it.

Original poster
doggymom23 · 27/05/2019 17:37

I work in a different office, hence the distance. Was surprised at no partner as I wouldn’t expect someone to travel alone that distance, but I’m not offended as understand numbers can be tricky.

OP posts:
ZoeWashburne · 27/05/2019 17:38

I find wedding invitations without OHs so rude. It says "come celebrate my love whilst I disregard yours".

I know you get people saying "My wedding my choice" but really, there is no need for that. I

insancerre · 27/05/2019 17:39

I wouldn’t think twice about declining this invite
And I would’ve be over generous with the present either
Who gets married 300 miles away?

userxx · 27/05/2019 17:40

They are probably expecting you to decline.

S1naidSucks · 27/05/2019 17:41

I bet they said they don’t want gifts but money would be nice. 🤑 😁

Sashkin · 27/05/2019 17:41

Why are they getting married so far away? If they are your colleague I'm assuming they live near you?

Presumably B or G's family are from there, that was the reason for my friends who got married in far-flung places. Getting married in their childhood parish church, or somewhere that their 105yr old great-grandmother could get to easily.

OP if it's a colleague you definitely don't need to go or feel guilty. I also wouldn't be giving them $100, surely there is something cheaper on their registry?

Groovee · 27/05/2019 17:43

I have no issue being invited without my dh. But at that distance, no group of friends and cost it would be a regret rsvp.

AlexaAmbidextra · 27/05/2019 17:44

I don’t think I’d travel 300 miles even with a plus one. Certainly not for a colleague.

Original poster
doggymom23 · 27/05/2019 17:44

@s1naidSucks yes they want money for honeymoon... she gave me a £10 photo frame for my wedding 😂 we didn’t have a gift list though

OP posts:
Momto4plus3 · 27/05/2019 17:46

I would double check with the bride saying, "I understand numbers are limited - but my dh name wasn't on the invite - I'm not upset - I just want to be sure."
Why? Because I was invited to a colleagues wedding - only my name on the invite - and no mention of a plus 1. I assumed because she'd never met him... more people = more expense. Then I arrived at the wedding and she asked where my husband was because he was expected. There was his name on the seating chart!! I felt Awful, but really - she should have said - but I could have checked....

Sashkin · 27/05/2019 17:47

So she can have £10 towards her honeymoon can't she? Even £25 would be fine, she's already set the bar for gifts.

I assume she hasn't specifically asked for £100 towards the honeymoon, just "contributions"? She probably doesn't expect anything from you at all, unless she is a complete CF. I certainly didn't expect anything from my colleagues.