Wedding invite no partner

[doggymom23]

Been invited to colleague’s wedding 300 miles away and no invite for my husband (understand that numbers can be limited). I know one other person going to wedding who lives locally to venue. AIBU to decline invite when it will cost me £200 to get there plus 2 nights’ hotel and gift? I would always give £100 for full day invite but tempted to give less as only me invited.

Unless a group of you are going and you get along well I would pass. I remember going with work friends to a wedding (no partners) and we rented a triple room and snuck in 2 extras - but I would not have done that alone

I'd give it a miss, if it's expensive to travel on your own just save the cash and use it together with you DH to do something you'd both like.

We have our own private rules for weddings, as a couple we both get invited or neither goes (we're a team) and we don't accept invitations to the "night do" only. If we are not close enough to the couple to attend for the whole day we don't need to attend at all. We never say this we just politely decline. Weddings are expensive for guest's, saved us a fortune over the years

OP I had a kind of similar situation some years ago. A friend from university, with whom I had sort of lost touch, called me to tell me somewhat out of the blue that she was engaged. I was invited to the wedding, which was about 3 hour drive or 5-6 hour train journey and would have required an overnight stay in a B&B. My boyfriend at the time (who my friend had met and is now my husband) wasn’t invited. Whilst we were friends form university, I didn’t know anyone else at the wedding except having said hello to one of them in passing a few times. Her other friends (maybe 3-4 of them) were her course mates and knew each other we’ll whereas I knew her through another friend so wasn’t part of their group.

It wasn’t ideal and I really was in two minds about going as we weren’t that close any more, it was too long a train journey but I was a new driver and not entirely comfortably with the long drive and I wouldn’t know anyone else there. To my slight shame I think I hinted to her that it was a long way to go on my own to a wedding where I wouldn’t know anyone... she said she understood if I couldn’t make it but they were keeping the wedding small and not inviting partners (or something like that).

OP, I went to the wedding, I had a lovely time and my friend and I are now closer than ever. I don’t see her often as she lives so far away but I consider her a wonderful friend. When I got married a few years ago I invited her along with her husband and children and I’m still glad that I made that decision.

It really does come down to whether you want to go but also how close you are and whether you might regret it if you don’t go. Having said that, not going doesn’t necessarily mean the end of a friendship.

Wouldn't bother me traveling alone to a wedding and I can see why they didn't invite your DH. Nothing personal.

It sounds like you don't want to go which is fair enough. Just decline the invitation politely and think no more about it. If you like the colleague then I'd give them £25. If you aren't fussed send nothing at all.

If you dont attend etiquette is too end a card declining to the parents of the bride and a card to the couple. No gift.

I wouldn’t go. The colleague knows you’re married? That’s just rude.

An invite just for you and omitting your oh is just a way of saying “we have to invite you, but we hope you don’t come”

Don’t bother going.

Just decline. Card. No gift. Spend money on weekend away if you can another time.

I think it would be madness to even give £50 to be honest.

Local wedding and I’d go, but at this distance and cost, they’d have to be a really good friend before I’d go.

Tbh it sounds like an out of politeness invite; I doubt they are expecting colleagues to travel so far for a few nights. I don't however think that inviting colleagues without partners is bad... just decline and send card and small gift (or suggest to other colleagues a collection in the office and stick in a tennerz)