To be fuming

[SarahDear]

Very upset with a parent who is parent of dc’s friend. EVERY time we have a playdate with this parent they always feel the need to instruct my little one. Don’t do this, don’t do that, don’t try this, don’t try that. It’s pissing me off as I am sitting with in earshot and if there’s ever an issue with dc, it should be conveyed to me to handle myself!
The other day dc told me that this parent ‘told them off’ for not sharing adequately enough with their child. Yes ok dc is wrong here BUT parent should tell me directly so I can deal with dc myself. Hate for others to tell off dc if I am also present party and can deal with situation. It’s now affecting our friendship. I don’t want to meet with them anymore. I want to say something but worried it will cause a huge row and everyone up in arms.

@SarahDear - it comes across as you and this other parent have very different parenting styles. Neither is wrong. However, if you are on a playdate in this other parent's house (as in not in your own house) and they have a swing, then their rules as to how the equipment apply, not yours and it doesn't matter whether you think the swing is suitable to stand on or not.
The rules are probably in force because the parent doesn't want a situation when their play date friends go home to have their own child standing on the swing and coming back with "Well SarahDeer DS did it so why can't I??" and (depending on their age range) the ensuing tantrum gets thrown.
It might push your buttons or grind your gears but it is what it is and if you're getting this frustrated, it might be better to meet in a neutral location or not at all, at least until they are older.

Maybe OP was happy to let her child play with his/her own toy a bit longer?

Or maybe the friend’s child was playing with something and OP’s child took it?

Or maybe the friend was happy for her own child to play with a toy a little longer.

Or maybe OP’s child had had their turn and was time to share.

All equally as likely and given the OP hasn’t elaborated we can’t exactly use that to corroborate a point.

Antigon
Op said - Sharing issue happened behind me and other parent was facing them.

She didn’t even know what was going on she wasn’t making a judgement call.

However, if you are on a playdate in this other parent's house (as in not in your own house) and they have a swing, then their rules as to how the equipment apply, not yours and it doesn't matter whether you think the swing is suitable to stand on or not.
The rules are probably in force because the parent doesn't want a situation when their play date friends go home to have their own child standing on the swing and coming back with "Well SarahDeer DS did it so why can't I??" and (depending on their age range) the ensuing tantrum gets thrown.

@Whatcha this is your take on what happened, OP doesn’t say this is what happened , just think you should make this clear.

l equally as likely and given the OP hasn’t elaborated we can’t exactly use that to corroborate a point.

Agreed, but everyone seems to be asinine OP/her child at fault.

Which just means the OP won’t come back to the thread.

*assuming not asinine!

but everyone seems to be asinine OP/her child at fault

Several people, myself included have said the OP and friend might just be incompatible and that’s not unreasonable.

Standing on swings is at best inconsiderate and at worst dangerous. Just because you think something is ok, you don’t get to inflict it on other people. I hate the ‘we’re the only people in the world attitude’.

And if you make your DD aware that you’re cross with the other mum you are truly setting yourself up for a bloody nightmare child - we had one living opposite us ‘you got something to say, you say it to me’ actually, no, I will tell your damn child off if they aren’t behaving. Just because you think it is ok, it really isn’t, if it affects other people.

Hopefully she and her child will get sick of 5he selfish behaviour and stop the play dates. Why does she jump in first? Because you think you and your dc are entitled to do what you want. Gaaahh!

The other mother's post would be I go to the park with another mum and their kids because they are friends with my DC. But its a nightmare and totally stressful because the child runs riot, stands on the swings (which then encourages my child to do similar dangerous things) but the mother just sits and does nothing leaving me to sort he child out. I want to knock it o the head but my DC do like the child and actually once you set boundaries they play quite nicely.

@Antigon - You're quite correct. It's been left wide open to interpretation and that is how I took the OP's opening post. She hasn't clarified whether the playdate was in the other parent's house or not. She also hasn't clarified (having been asked a few times) the age range of the kids in question.