To be upset that my manager wont allow me to come into work 15 mins later

[Trix11]

than usual and stay 15 mins at the end of the day to enable me to drop my son off at summer school for three weeks.

Unlike school where I can drop my 5 year old son off at 8.30am the summer school wont take the children before 9.00am. I asked my manager if for three weeks I could come in 15 mins later and he said he would 'think' about it - this was on Wednesday, I heard nothing so today jsut before I was due to leave work I asked him if he had thought about (thinking that of course he would accommodate my request) he said yes he given it some thought and no I could not. I then said that I would have to take emergency leave then as my priority has to be my children, he said I can do it on Monday but after that I would have to make alternative arrangements I dont have family that I can call upon thats why I have to use paid childcare.

Am I asking too much here?

Good luck; he sounds like an absolute arse.

My manager sounds similar. He made me cry last week, on our (dh and mine- not managers ) wedding anniversary. Don't let him upset you. Hope this works out, with HR or whatever.

Xenia - no there is no legal right to this sort of request.
It's a bit disappointing if a manager cannot agree to something this small for a very limited period of time, particularly when it's a large employer, however I do think sometimes people are a bit quick to shout 'rights','discrimination' etc when it actually isn't. Unreasonable of the manager, maybe, discrimination, legal right etc, no.
Hopefully Trix will be able to reach a compromise where she can come in a bit late a couple of days until she is able to sort something out.

yes but its like all these things - you have to give him a reason to agree to it. And you haven't. "let me come in late because I have a kid in child care" isn't relevant to him, its just another problem.

You: Hey Mr Boss... Let me come in late because I do a spectacular job, have your back at all times and want to help you get the recognition you deserve, and whats more I'll make up the time and if you like do this menial task you get stuck with and hate as thanks.
Him: Yeah, good point. Why not.

Your life outside work is not his concern, if he's under stress which you clearly say he is then he's going to shut down on all the things he sees as non-essentials. Sorry but your kids school hours are not even on his radar and nor should they be.

Thank goodness I work somewhere where childcare issues are taken in to consideration and has flexi hours to cope with just this sort of thing

I still think its sex discrimination

Quick update

Got to the school this morning and there was a 25 minute wait to register as it was the first day. I had a major panic, phoned my manager could not get through left a message with my colleague to pass on to him.

Got to work at 9.45am - apoogised to him told him that of course I would be making the time up before I left in the eve. I could tell he was not to happy but to be fair to him he said ok.

Then when I logged in I saw that he sent me an email on Friday night after I left with the work options form attached for me to complete in readiness for our meeting today.

Hadn't he verbally told me on Friday that this is not flexitime and I could not come in 15 mins late reason given "its not fair on people who don't have children" not a good business reason but hey.

As it turned out I was in a meeting all day when I came out he had left for the day. I did not know this and was waiting for him to appear all day he never turned up.

So, taking advise from my union rep (my HR rep is on hols until Thurs) he told me to send him an email to say I would be in at 9.30am tomorrow. I await to see what tomorrow brings.

Trix is a work options form what you have at your company for requesting flexible working under flexible working regs? Or something you use for requesting any change to your working hours?

Your situation wouldn't come under flexible working in a legal sense, but could the fact that he has sent you the form to fill in be a positive thing in that he might therefore be more prepared to consider your request than he previously indicated?

Shame you missed meeting with him, hope him sending you the form to discuss with him is a more positive thing, let us know how you get on tomorrow

flexible working rules still apply to over 5s who are disabled/ special needs. Though theres no indication your kid falls into this category??

Do you have a union?

sounds like a real shit place to work. 15 mins of flexibility isnt much to ask. and besides i bet the other childless managers turn up 'late' when they need it or call in 'sick', for whatever reasons.

Its an official form for requesting a change to your hours on a trial basis or permanent basis.

Yes I have got a union and the representative was advising me what to do today.

in that case could be that he has decided he is more willing to consider it which would be good