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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset that my manager wont allow me to come into work 15 mins later

86 replies

Trix11 · 20/07/2007 22:06

than usual and stay 15 mins at the end of the day to enable me to drop my son off at summer school for three weeks.

Unlike school where I can drop my 5 year old son off at 8.30am the summer school wont take the children before 9.00am. I asked my manager if for three weeks I could come in 15 mins later and he said he would 'think' about it - this was on Wednesday, I heard nothing so today jsut before I was due to leave work I asked him if he had thought about (thinking that of course he would accommodate my request) he said yes he given it some thought and no I could not. I then said that I would have to take emergency leave then as my priority has to be my children, he said I can do it on Monday but after that I would have to make alternative arrangements I dont have family that I can call upon thats why I have to use paid childcare.

Am I asking too much here?

OP posts:

Original poster

Trix11 · 22/07/2007 13:01

i dont think he has been reasonable about past requests. I asked him about applying to work 4 days a week and was told by him No. He suggested I did not complete the paperwork and there was no mention of having a meeting to discuss it. Another manager who has returned from maternity leave is off work with stress and depression brought on by work and how unhappy she is there.

OP posts:

HappyMummyOfOne · 22/07/2007 13:41

I think he's been quite lenient about past requests too, you've been granted 2 out of 3 which is good (access from home to work and the later start to do the nursery run). As to the drop to 4 days, yes he should have done it via the correct route but it would have been hard to get a job share for 1 day only and if you have to finish work at home on a 5 day week then you have proven it could not be done in 4.

Therefore, i dont think he's being unreasonable to reject the latest request and i agree its not sex discrimination. As for discussing it with a peer, people do that at work over things like this to see what other departments do and dont agree to to try and keep things standard.

You wrongly assumed the request would be granted and now its sour grapes that it hasnt. You only have the right to ask not the right to get the hours you want. He's probably thinking he is being taken for a mug. As for constructive dismissal, dont think you would win on that one due to the short notice you gave and the period only being 3 weeks.

I'm sure for three weeks your OH and friends can help you out, or like another posted mentioned a childminder.

meowmix · 22/07/2007 13:59

TBH I'd be pretty much at the end of my tether too - you've asked for one thing in the wrong way (ie not the right paperwork) when you've recently come back to work. You've asked for outside access to email. You've then asked to change hours to come in later. And then again.

You've just been a problem and its sounds like he's not great with that. If he has one member of staff on longterm sick and another making (what seem to him) endless requests for different treatment he's going to feel under pressure and react accordingly. The easy short term solution for him is to say no. He thinks you aren't committed to the job so he's given up on you a bit.

Can you meet him and try and do some listening - let him get his woes and worries about this off his chest, clear the air, feel you take him seriously and then try to negotiate a compromise?

Original poster

Trix11 · 22/07/2007 16:53

The access given to work from home in the evenings is unpaid overtime, so I don't think hes doing me the favour there. Is it really so unreasonable what I am asking, I don't have anyone else who can do it for me. I rely of paid childcare. Its not like I want to leave at the same time, and I work over by 15 - 20 mins most evenings anyway. Its not been unknown for me to work at weekends (unpaid) and in the evenings over the years.

OP posts:

flowerybeanbag · 22/07/2007 18:09

It's a bit annoying and some employers would be able to be more flexible about this type of thing.
However, this is not (and couldn't be) a request under your flexible working rights, it's not parental leave, it couldn't be seen as emergency dependents' leave, which is your right but is for emergencies which this isn't I'm afraid. And you have varied your working hours before and haven't given much notice this time.
So, annoying, but YABU to think that 'of course he would accommodate my request'

amidaiwish · 22/07/2007 18:14

IT IS 15 MINS!!

maybe i have just been lucky in the companies i have worked in previously but this really wouldn't have been an issue!

amidaiwish · 22/07/2007 18:15

infact, i wouldn't have had to even ASK before - 15 mins late for a few weeks? what is the big deal here?

flowerybeanbag · 22/07/2007 18:31

you are right amidaiwish this isn't necessarily a big deal and in lots of jobs with lots of employers it would not be an issue.
It is not unreasonable to ask, and it is annoying and seems inflexible of the employer but it is not a right and assuming that it would be fine is unreasonable I think.

newgirl · 22/07/2007 19:00

arrange a meeting with HR on monday

document every conversation

ask your boss again on monday and try to reach a compromise for this three weeks eg alternate days - or at least one week etc so he sees you are trying to be helpful

i think he is a git but you have left it quite late from his point of view so i guess at this stage it is trying to find a way forward

im not sure your argument that you only found out about 9am drop off last week - to an unsympathetic employer anyway - surely you could have found out the time a few weeks ago? just be careful what you say - goo dluck!

aloha · 22/07/2007 19:15

He's being a total arse and fuckwit and I hope he develops incurable piles the size of planets, I honestly do.

As for those people saying that you don't 'deserve' to shift your hours by a measly 15 minutes because a/you asked to be allowed to do unpaid overtime and b/you wanted to exercise your legal right to ask to work four days a week and were turned down illegally....well, ffs, how stupid.

aloha · 22/07/2007 19:17

However, until you find another job with a less fuckwitted boss, I think you need to start finding some alternatives - ie a friend with a child going to the same club or your partner, if you have one. Or are you a single parent?

sazzybee · 22/07/2007 19:52

I can't believe that some people think this is reasonable of the boss. We have glide time at work - core hours are 10-4 and outside that you can add time on at the beginning or end of the day to suit. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't be able to go back to work. If there isn't a genuine business case for refusing the request, then it's very short-sighted IMO.

You should name and shame your employer - so that the rest of us can avoid them! I thought companies were supposed to be becoming more family-friendly?

Original poster

Trix11 · 22/07/2007 20:05

Other senior mangers around the company would accommodate this request Im sure. This is one of the 'big' banks.

My contract says I'm contracted to work 37.5 hours per week between 8.00 -10.00 (it may mention shifts,I need to find my contract) For the last five years Ive worked mostly 9.00-5.00 in unofficial capacity, I have never been told it was a problem.

When I told him my dilemma and asked if I could come in 15mins later, I did say that it may only be for a few days as I might be able to get some help off some of the other moms when I knew who was going and what their arrangements were. I said it would be three weeks worst case scenario. My dh is finishing early for the three weeks to collect him at 4.00pm.

Its a five year old child I'm talking about here, surely he must be my first priority. I am not asking for work to let me work less hours per day.

OP posts:

amidaiwish · 22/07/2007 20:09

what would happen if you just did it anyway? are people never late? trains/traffic etc?

Judy1234 · 22/07/2007 20:13

Most reasonable employers would agree but if it's not that kind of environment and they have a lot of staff and people who might want to come in a bit late to see to their aged mother or horse they probably can't set a precedent.

Ideas to cover it. Ask on day 1 at the camp if they know anyone who will be in from 8am and could help and would like some extra money or find a local sixth former wanting a holiday job and pay them to collect from your house and take to the summer school.

LoonyLyraLovegood · 22/07/2007 20:20

It sounds like he's got a problem with working mothers and is just being arsey.
I've heard pople in my own office saying "why should X leave at 5 every day to collect their child from nursery? I might want to go to the pub at 5 every day but I'm not allowed to'.
Not quite the same is it?
People can get very funny if they think someone else is being given special treatment.

Scoobyc · 22/07/2007 20:29

If you work for a big company then I'd go to HR with a sob-story and see if you can get them on side. You might not have a strictly legal right for him to be flexible but it does sound like he is being unreasonable here.

Ultimately if I was you I'd see if there was any chance of a move to a dept where the manager was more family-friendly. Sounds like you're going to have similar problems in the future and he's going to be a headache.

CrookshanksinJimmyChoos · 22/07/2007 20:40

Trix - I work for a 'big' bank also and I've had the same probs with flexible working and general flexibility! After getting the union involved and a bit of a cat fight, the part time working has been agreed, but with me leaving 30mins later than I originally requested and this is is causing me such a huge rush! Making it to the nursery by skin of teeth and getting stressed in the traffic that I may not make it by 5.30pm...and the funny thing about all this, is that the managers have kids themselves!!! Its all about targets though.....

You are not being unreasonable...its about bloody time employers started realising that mums do have to factor in childcare and work around that. We do the best we can not to let anyone down, but at the end of the day, the child comes first!

Stick it to 'em!! Rant rant!

Cammelia · 22/07/2007 20:51

Childcare is the number one priority for reasonable temporary minor adjustment to working hours. End of.

CrookshanksinJimmyChoos · 22/07/2007 20:59

Hear Hear!

MadamePlatypus · 22/07/2007 21:00

I think he is being short sighted. The benefit to you of being able to come in 15 minutes later is great, and (I am assuming) the cost to the company is negligable. Being family friendly is a great way for companies to increase loyalty. Recruiting and training on the other hand is expensive.

Original poster

Trix11 · 22/07/2007 21:02

Thanks all - So, is my request a reasonable one for a temporary minor adjustment to working hours?

I have been worried sick about this all weekend - its given me a constant headache. I know I will be called into a meeting about it on Monday.

OP posts:

ZZMum · 22/07/2007 21:05

Good luck tomorrow have been thinking about your situation all weekend - can see both sides as a Mum of 2 and also manager of 100 so I know the issues!

Look forward to hearing how it goes.... hopefully sense will prevail!

CrookshanksinJimmyChoos · 22/07/2007 21:09

Trix - I think its reasonable! Do not let them try to convince you otherwise

Write down some notes, keep them with you, stay focused, calm and don't lose your temper.

FWIW, I've been called in so many times over what happened with me - much note-taking, stony glares from manager etc and I just thought you know what, you are human just like me and I'm not going to let you intimidate me - it worked! Besides, they have pulled me in so many times now I'm used to it!! lol!!

I always think that unreasonable male managers either

a) Have a very small cock

b) Haven't had sex for a very long time

c) Both of the above

And so they have to take it out on their staff by being all bigwig and powerful!!

So, think small cock and go for it!!!

Judy1234 · 23/07/2007 08:32

Did we establish if there was a legal right to request a temporary change in working hours though?

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