Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children in waiting rooms

311 replies

BigRedLondonBus · 26/05/2019 14:32

Dd has some regular hospital appointments at the moment but I have no child care so it means taking all 4 children to the hospital with me. It’s abit of a nightmare what age would it be acceptable to leave children in the waiting room whilst we have the actual appointment?

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 26/05/2019 20:31

I'd say leave them outside.

My son has hospital apt's 3-4 times a year.

I'd happily help a child sat outside waiting for parents of they needed it. No one wants to have to take their child to see a consultant. Everyone should help if needed as it's kind.

Alsohuman · 26/05/2019 21:01

@Duchess, yet you asked me for evidence. And, if it’s the case, it is scandalous.

m0therofdragons · 26/05/2019 21:13

It was me who made the statement re smears - this is based on anecdotal evidence from a conversation with a gp who is also a director at the hospital I work in.

I'm intrigued by the insurance policy claims - I'm not convinced hospital insurances specify such situations - sounds more like an excuse to enforce hospital policy. Parents would always have overall responsibility of a child unless they'd been officially admitted to a ward.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 26/05/2019 21:34

Well I had daily radiotherapy for about 2 weeks during the school holidays last year. On most days I had to take my 8 and 10 year olds with me. Clearly they couldn't go in the radiotherapy rooms for safety reasons. They sat outside in the reception area and did puzzle books or played on tablets.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 06:16

It’s awful that people are so stuck for childcare that they have to delay treatment or check-ups. Of course it is. I still don’t think hospital waiting rooms are appropriate places to leave young kids alone.

my2bundles · 27/05/2019 06:40

Hercule. Some of us don't have a choice. We just get on with it. The waiting rooms are not the bad place you seem to think they are, they are not like a@e.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 06:45

my2bundles

There is a choice. Clearly. Just not choices some people want to make. If the question was whether to leave your child at home because you had no childcare and HAD to go to X place and couldn’t fit the kids in the car, you wouldn’t go. It wouldn’t matter that you had no nappies or milk or so and so forth. You wouldn’t leave your children home alone because it isn’t acceptable or safe. That’s how I feel here. It’s an unpleasant choice, but it’s still a choice.

my2bundles · 27/05/2019 06:47

Having no childcare is not a choice it's a reality for many people. What a bubble you live in.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 06:48

my2bundles

It is a choice what you do about that. That is the reality. I would do several things before leaving my children alone in a hospital waiting room, including taking them in with me or rescheduling. Those are the choices. I don’t think leaving them alone is in the running.

my2bundles · 27/05/2019 06:52

It's already been explained to you that rescheduling often me and waiting months for an appointment, going back to tne bottom of tne list and still having no control over times. It's also been explained to you that some appointments are not appropriate for children to sit it. Are you really this ignorant to think everyone lives in your perfect world.

anothernotherone · 27/05/2019 06:53

herculepoirot2 you wouldn't take a sibling child to an essential medical appointment because you wouldn't think it's "acceptable" or safe to leave an 8 year old in a clinic waiting room? Really? And you wouldn't leave an 8 year old home alone to pop out and buy nappies or milk if you couldn't fit them in the car (for some reason - though quite what that reason would be requires a stretch of the imagination to assuming a family with a nappy wearing infant, an 8 year old and a 2 seater sports car, or more than 5+ children age 8 and under opting for a a 5 seater car...

Acceptable is an interesting choice of words. It's all about the groundless judging as well as the claims to be able to read stranger's mental health and addiction status at a glance...

8 year olds can be left home alone for 30 minutes if you've bothered bringing them up properly (assuming no relevant special needs etc).

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 06:53

my2bundles

I know it’s not a great choice. Still a choice. I wouldn’t leave my children alone so I could go to the appointment.

my2bundles · 27/05/2019 06:55

It's not a choice for many people. Which part of this are you just not grasping?

Purpleartichoke · 27/05/2019 06:56

The other day I had to go in for a blood draw and had no choice but to take my blood-phobic 10yo with me. The lab facility is small. Just a waiting room, and a couple of small rooms. If she needed me, she could have just gone to the unstaffed window and I would gave seen her. I left her playing on a tablet wearing headphones. There was no one else in the waiting room. Staff still weren’t thrilled about it. I realized they thought she was about 7 because she is very small for her age.

So I would not leave 7 and 8 year olds in the lobby unless you are actually someplace they can reach you if needed.

Could you just set them sitting on the floor outside of the exam room?

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:00

my2bundles

That it clearly is a choice. Do I leave them alone, or not? That’s a choice.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 27/05/2019 07:00

There is a choice. Clearly. Just not choices some people want to make

Yes your right hercule there actually two options

  1. leave your under 10 year old child alone at home for an unknown amount of time

Something that would be massively frowned upon, and lead to questions like your own who is responsable for them, what if something happens

Or

  1. miss the appointment entirely, therefore wasting NHS time and money but more importantly than that depriving either your child or yourself of much needed medical treatment

For some people the only solution is indeed to ask older children to sit outside in the waiting room. Many will have puzzles/soft toys/childrens books or magazines. These days as has been said a phone or tablet with headphones will keep them entertained for the 30 minutes of the appointment.

These are not the sort of places you will see drunk people covered in blood dragged in by the police they are not that different from a GPs waiting room. If you dont think any medical waiting room is a place for children do you never take your children to the doctors?

my2bundles · 27/05/2019 07:02

Hercule you are being ridiculous.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:10

NaughtToThreeSadOnions

No, it’s been established that - rescheduling not being an option - you could take them in with you or stand them up outside the door. Lots of excuses being passed around here, but it comes down to that. I can see how it’s awkward, but leaving them alone isn’t on, and I wouldn’t do it.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:11

my2bundles

Well, that’s your opinion. I think it’s ridiculous to leave your children as unaccompanied minors in a hospital, but each to their own.

my2bundles · 27/05/2019 07:15

Outside tne door so they are in the way of porters with trolleys and beds. Doctors, nurses and patients. Yes that makes much more sense than getting them to sit on a chair in the waiting room which is usually right in front of tne consultants room.

GPatz · 27/05/2019 07:15

You know how resilient your own children are OP. Others know that their own children may not be so resilient to be left for 10 minutes in a public area.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:19

my2bundles

Yes! They have legs and can move. I’d rather that than leave them alone unsupervised. That’s my choice, isn’t it?

my2bundles · 27/05/2019 07:19

Yes they move after they have already caused a disruption. Show some consideration.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 27/05/2019 07:21

hercule yes thats my point reseduling isnt an option

Thats my point!

Therefore the only option is leaving the children in the waiting room

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:21

8 year olds can be left home alone for 30 minutes if you've bothered bringing them up properly (assuming no relevant special needs etc).

I don’t leave children at home unsupervised for half an hour. I don’t know anybody who does.