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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children in waiting rooms

311 replies

BigRedLondonBus · 26/05/2019 14:32

Dd has some regular hospital appointments at the moment but I have no child care so it means taking all 4 children to the hospital with me. It’s abit of a nightmare what age would it be acceptable to leave children in the waiting room whilst we have the actual appointment?

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:22

my2bundles

Right, so your choice is to show consideration. Mine is to keep my kids as safe as I can and not rely on strangers to parent them. Each to their own!

Stuckforthefourthtime · 27/05/2019 07:23

@DuchessDarty well, I'm one of the women who has missed out on smears. We have no family close by, a small baby and a toddler. It's not always easy to find a time to do it, and the extra difficulty in sorting out childcare means I have kept meaning to do it, but putting it off.

I'll get there eventually but if even someone in my position - stretched but fortunate enough to have the money and social relationships to organise childcare eventually, plus not being nervous about smears or doctors - finds it tricky, I can guarantee that there are a ton more who would find it unmanageable.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:24

NaughtToThreeSadOnions

It is an option. You are allowed to reschedule NHS appointments. You might not want to, but you can. If you choose not to you can take them in with you. This isn’t that hard to understand. I wouldn’t leave them alone.

Whoops75 · 27/05/2019 07:25

At 7&8 I would make sure they didn’t need the bathroom and leave them outside.

TeddybearBaby · 27/05/2019 07:27

One of the nurses came up to me at my last hospital appointment and pointed to my 10/11 year old and said ‘you’re not leaving him in the waiting room are you?!’ We were in the middle or chatting when she blurted it out so I was a bit taken aback. I wasn’t because the doctor said she’d take a look at him at my next appointment as a favour so he was coming in with me. Because of the location the nurse said it wasn’t safe, that they have ‘all sorts’ wandering in so if I was you I’d ask at reception if it’s fine and then do all the usual pep talks ‘no talking to strangers, don’t leave the seat, don’t go to the toilet’ I have a thing about toilets after I read about two young boys being abused in one. I know it’s rare but sometimes things stay with you don’t they and that is one of them for me. I hope the appointment goes well!

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:28

*If you dont think any medical waiting room is a place for children do you never take your children to the doctors?

I do, and I supervise.

cocomelon23 · 27/05/2019 07:34

I thought most waiting areas say children must not be left unattended?

my2bundles · 27/05/2019 07:35

Yes you can reschedule. By doing this you risk being put back to tne bottom of the waiting list, wait months for appointment and still havery no control over date and time. Many oeople have pointed thus out to you yet you still say it's a choice. On what planet is that a choice?

thisisacrazyidea · 27/05/2019 07:36

HRTWT, but why can’t you take all 4 with you into the consultation room? If they can sit quietly on their iPads in the waiting room why can’t they sit quietly in the consultation room?
FWIW I’m an NHS consultant and I would a)never leave my own children (8&6) in a hospital waiting room and b) be more than happy that someone brought all their children to an appointment than missed it because they couldn’t get childcare. I have on occasions had badly behaved children who I’ve had to tell to sit nicely while ‘mummy talks to the doctor....that’s me’.....they sit as quietly as mice after someone else has asked Grin.
I’ve taken mine to apts before, including smears.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:37

my2bundles

On this one. Look, you are doing that thing where you dismiss all the options except the one you chose, then say you didn’t have a choice. You did. It’s not my intention to judge you. But you made a choice, and not the one I would make. My kids would be coming in with me or sitting outside the door if the appointment was urgent, and I would reschedule if it wasn’t. It’s definitely a choice.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 27/05/2019 07:37

You are allowed to reschedule NHS appointments

Resheduling doesnt cure childcare - you still dont have childcare

  1. you leave them at home
  2. you miss the appointment

I refer you to my first post

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:38

NaughtToThreeSadOnions

Leaving them at home is a choice. Again, not the one I would make. Taking them in with you is a choice. Isn’t it?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 27/05/2019 07:40

hercule your now saying its ok to leave a 7 and 8 year old at home alone is ok

Yet its not ok to leave them in a hospital waiting room

Its not a choice there is no childcare

DuchessDarty · 27/05/2019 07:41

Stuckforthefourthtime If you read all my posts, you’ll see I say that no doubt some women with young children do miss out on having smear tests because they can’t leave their children in reception.

Question for you though, do you think it’s right that the receptionists look after your baby and toddler while you have a smear test? That’s quite a different situation to 7 year olds sitting in the waiting room.

thisisacrazyidea · 27/05/2019 07:41

Ps, I appreciate that some consultations might not be appropriate for children....but if they are anything like mine, once the iPad is on they aren’t going to be listening to a word an adult is saying.

And to the lovely ladies who have missed your smears.....please go, take you kids, give them the iPad in the corner. I know it’s embarrassing, uncomfortable etc etc but it’s potentially your life and your children’s future.

anothernotherone · 27/05/2019 07:45

thisisacrazyidea your answers are lovely, but yesterday at 16:06 the OP said that last time they didn't all fit in the consulting room - she's got 4 children and needs one to be contained in a pram, so the older two stay in the waiting room while she takes the younger two in.

She also said there are no signs on the subject in the waiting room.

Jellybeansincognito · 27/05/2019 07:47

I wouldn’t leave a 7/8 year old alone in a hospital waiting room no. They’ll be out of sight and you won’t be able to hear them either. If they’re too distracting to have in the room with you why on earth is it a good idea to leave them unattended? You can’t give that responsibility to a stranger.

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:49

NaughtToThreeSadOnions

Erm...where did I say that? I think I said the opposite.

GPatz · 27/05/2019 07:49

I think Hercule said it's not okay to leave children at home. Which is absolutely fine. Not all children have the ability or tools to be left alone for short periods of time.

myself2020 · 27/05/2019 07:50

Depends on the child. my 6 year old stays in waiting rooms while i go to the loo or change his brother. he‘s very reliable (and knows to not go with anybody before mum is back)

hazeyjane · 27/05/2019 07:52

We have signs saying children under 12 shouldn't be unaccompanied at our hospital. It is only in the last year (they're now 12 and 13) that I could leave the dds in the waiting room while ds had appointments. Always seemed to be sods law that appointments came for the bloody holidays! I can see that even though I think my dds would be fine, and would sit quietly and be no trouble, there are some kids who could play up, and it is not fair for the people on the desk to have to deal with that. Having said that, twice the nurse suggested they sat outside, as ds was going to be very distressed.
If the staff in the waiting room don't have a problem with you leaving your children in the waiting room, then I don't see why you shouldn't.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 27/05/2019 07:52

You seem to think its an option though hercule
For it to be a choice it has to be an option one by defination you think is ok.

Having no child care is not a choice!!!

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 07:54

NaughtToThreeSadOnions

People do it. It’s a choice. It’s not an option for me, but if someone did do it, they would be making a choice.

thisisacrazyidea · 27/05/2019 07:55

Another there certainly are small consultation rooms.....I can think of a few that I’ve used that would be a squeeze, but they are never in isolation ie there isn’t one consultation room attached to one waiting area 1/2 mile down a corridor. Groups of consultation rooms are around a common waiting area. If it was me and they didn’t all fit I’d ask them to just hold on until we could use a bigger room for the consultation and I’d swap with a colleague, it would be really helpful if she could let the nurse or receptionist know when she registered so I was expecting it. If you knew how the NHS bends over backwards for some patients....if finding a room that fits 4 children, a pushchair and 3 adults (I’m including a nurse) was the hardest thing I had to do all day at work life would be easy!

herculepoirot2 · 27/05/2019 08:13

If it was me and they didn’t all fit I’d ask them to just hold on until we could use a bigger room for the consultation and I’d swap with a colleague,

Sounds realistic in most hospitals I’ve been in.

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