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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To race my 8 year old in the belief that I will win?

97 replies

Snoozysnuze · 26/05/2019 10:57

So here's the dilemma, a while ago my son and I were joking about who could run the fastest and we are both convinced we could beat the other in a race over 100m. I was pregnant at the time so we set a date for a race on his 8th birthday which was nearly five months post birth.

In the build up to this date there has been a lot of bravado and chat about how he'll eat my dust and vice versa, all in good jest, but more recently the banter has been getting very competitive. He wants there to be a trophy and has even cleared room on his bedside table for it to go (when he inevitably wins).

The trouble is, I'm also super competitive and would love nothing more than to beat him just to prove I can, but I'm also mindful that he might be hurt or embarrassed if I do win. He is definitely fast for his age and I would have to go full pelt to be in with a chance of winning. My other half has always said they think he will win, but then didn't allow us to race on his birthday in case I won and it ruined the day. We're now a few weeks past his birthday and he is still persistently saying he wants to race.

Should I throw the race (if I'm winning which I acknowledge that I absolutely may not be!) to spare his feelings or should I beat him fair and square if I can? If he wins I am in no doubt that I will hear about it frequently, which if I've thrown the race would be hard to swallow. But I am a grown up (allegedly) so could do it if it's the right thing by him to do. He is a pretty sore loser generally (like most kids his age?) so in some ways I feel it might be good for him to lose (if I am genuinely able to beat him). Or is that just mean?!

Alternatively I could pull out and not allow the race to go ahead at all, but I am not sure this is the right thing to do either, given the length of build up and excitement about it.

What is the best thing to do?

OP posts:
PristineCondition · 26/05/2019 14:13

Well done!

VampirateQueen · 26/05/2019 14:14

If he is pretty fast and you think you would have a hard time to beat him anyway, just race him as is, if you win you win, if he wins he won fair and square.

Pearlfish · 26/05/2019 14:16

Brilliant! Great update OP.

VampirateQueen · 26/05/2019 14:16

Just seen the update. Well done.

Onatreebyariver · 26/05/2019 14:16

Fantastic OP. He'll soon be able to beat you with ease so take the wins whilst you still can. My husband is regretting letting out boys beat him when they were younger because he says now he actually struggles to race them and they're only maximum a year away from beating him.

He wishes he'd taken the wins when he had the chance. As soon he'll never be able to again! Luckily I'm a better runner than him so prob have an extra 6 months than him to win haha!

anothernotherone · 26/05/2019 14:20

This is so weird? Why build it up like this? It's as if you deliberately tried to create a problem.

NorthernKnickers · 26/05/2019 14:27

I wouldn't throw it. It's gone way past that now...and he'll know! Don't insult him by doing this...and don't pander if you win and he doesn't like it! Definitely take the 'same time same place next year' approach to build resilience.

NorthernKnickers · 26/05/2019 14:31

Ahh just read you'd done it...well done OP 🥇

NottonightJosepheen · 26/05/2019 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Disfordarkchocolate · 26/05/2019 14:34

What a lovely update. Nice to know you've raised a 'good loser' (but he may gloat when he beats you next year because he will be 9 and wants to win).

QueenKubauOfKish · 26/05/2019 14:35

I was genuinely nervous as we lined up :o

Great outcome OP!

another, they are both competitive, it started off as joking and then became more of a big thing because her DS was so into the idea. It's not as if OP forced the whole thing on him! I think it's lovely, it's one of those things a child remembers, that his mum took him seriously and went through with it all. Some parents would just have not bothered.

NottonightJosepheen · 26/05/2019 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WatcherintheRye · 26/05/2019 14:38

Ah, well done both of you! It's this sort of competitive streak that makes champions! (I mean your ds, sorry op! Grin)

Bloodless · 26/05/2019 14:39

There’s not a hope in hell I could beat my 9 year old, lol. Fair play if you do OP

SunniDay · 26/05/2019 14:46

Hi,
As you are racing on his 9th birthday you could say if you win you will give him another chance again on his 10th birthday and each year. Tell him that if you win now each year he will become bigger, stronger and faster and one day he will be faster than you and win. So I wouldn't throw the race but definitely don't beat him by loads _ if you are winning easily make it close and let him know it's not the end. His time will come.

SunniDay · 26/05/2019 14:50

Saw your update _ all's well

EmbarassingQuestion · 26/05/2019 15:06

Definitely don't let him win! My nephew is ridiculously competitive, but I can still outrun him (he's only 6!) Now when we have races, I have a handicap and we both try hard. Just 'prepare' him by reminding him that you're actually pretty good and that he shouldn't be disappointed if he loses.

I like the idea of doing something every year, because yes, he will beat you eventually and it will mean a lot more then. If your'e getting a trophy why not go all the way and have it engraved each year with the winner's name? Grin

EmbarassingQuestion · 26/05/2019 15:08

Ohhh sorry just seen the update - love it!

Sandsnake · 26/05/2019 15:50

Brilliant, well done! Sounds like it was really fun all round. I bet he’ll remember it fondly as an adult. Smile

over50andfab · 26/05/2019 17:06

Fab update OP - thank you - and sounds like it was all handled really well

Aprillygirl · 26/05/2019 18:13

Congratulations OP! And well done master Snoozy for being a good sport Star

DoctorDread · 26/05/2019 19:52

Awww I was a bit 🙄 when i read the initial op but honestly I think you were absolutely right - and it sounds like a fab day all round!

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