To think that if you private rent your life should not be dictated to by the landlord whose mortgage you are paying

[Nursejackie1]

So many of us are stuck in private renting with no choice paying over the odds, while landlords are making a mint. Most landlords have all these rules that you can’t decorate without permission, can’t even put a wall hanging up without asking. Often can’t or need permission to have pets, have regular inspections. I pay loads for my home and due to that cannot save a deposit. My kids have never had their bedrooms decorated in the way I would like.. having to stick with plain magnolia. Why should somebody else decide whether my kids get to grow up with a family pet or not? AIBU to think that if you are paying somebodies mortgage for them then while you are in that house you should be able to treat it as your own within reason and not have your life dictated to and controlled by them?

Miljah Sun 26-May-19 21:38:55

Applauding your excellent post.

So many people refuse to see the advantages or even the sheer dumb luck that have put them in an enviable position in life, and seem to look down their noses in judgement at the shortcomings of those who have not been 'successful'.

My parents bought their house in 1966 for a few thousand Irish pounds. Even then they were incredibly lucky as they had cash for a down payment and a connection to a Scottish bank to get a mortgage at a time when there was a bank strike in Ireland. Many of our neighbours were in the same boat - either self employed/owned their own businesses or somehow had cash in the mattress. We had some very interesting neighbours - people in business, restaurant sector, art, design, accountants, a bus driver.

The same semi detached style house across the street sold for over half a million Euro recently. Yes, dad worked hard to pay the variable rate mortgage at a time when rates could be very high, we grew our own veg and fruit, and dad and mum kept the house in excellent nick.

The next people who buy that house will each need an income astronomically in excess of dad's to afford it. There will be no SAHPs, children will all be sent to child care year round, the lovely park at the corner will only see children playing ball at weekends, there will be no hordes of children riding bikes or skating around during the long Irish summer holidays from school because parents can't take the time off. The entire character of childhood has changed completely because of the incredible inflation of housing prices.

No @LaurieMarlow you really can't always sell up. Maybe read back on many of the posts who explain that due to negative equity they can not just sell up.

Pressed to soon.
They can't sell because unlike feckless tenants who do a runner leaving thousands of £s of debt the bank will actually come after them!

So it's Ok to say those with negative equity are responsible for their shitty situation but posters who've said the same to tenants have been shot down?

Shops sell food for twice the price they get it for, and food is fundamental for life, yet no one complains about "terrible shops

Is this point for real?

Food doesn’t appreciate in value by just sitting there the way houses do. The margins on shop keeping are fairly low overall, while being very labour intensive.
Landlords do very little in comparison for enormous return.

Nonsense, you can sell in negative equity.

www.rightmove.co.uk/advice/seller/other-things-to-consider/negative-equity-and-what-to-do/

If landlords are made to be locked into long term contracts then the tenants would have to be too! Tell them they can sign up for 5 years but they cannot move before then

One minute its "you should move" or "
get on your bike"

Then its stay for five years.

Make your minds up.

So it's Ok to say those with negative equity are responsible for their shitty situation but posters who've said the same to tenants have been shot down?

I’m just applying the logic that’s been doled out on this thread.

Of course it's not as simple as paying the mortgage. If you owned the property, you'd have to insure it, repair things, get the boiler checked annually, etc etc etc... The landlord has to do all of things- but also make a profit. They are running a business not a charity.

Well that's the whole issue.

You want LL to listen to all the sob stories and issues tenants face. Without acknowledging any of the issues they face. And in fact show blatant disdain for them.

Why should they give a shit? LL are always going to exist. The Government are never going to get rid of the group who benefits them so massively. They are literally lightening their burden. So instead of making ridiculous demands why not look at both sides and try to make reasonable adjustments?

All the whinging landlords on here - if it’s that difficult and you don’t make a profit, you could just sell the houses? Agree with the PP who said the rental sector should be social.

Dodgeballchamp There are so many landlords out there who don't want to be. We bought an apartment over ten years ago then after having 3 kids couldn't sell but couldn't live there any more, were in negative equity, not as bad as some but enough that the banks said we'd never get a mortgage again if we tried to sell. So we rent out the apartment and rent where we live. Have had great tenants and one or two where we were getting phone calls from police at night time over them, complaints from neighbours, they left us short constantly and then refused to leave when their agreement was up. When they finally left they took furniture and left the place in a serious state. If I could not be a landlord it would be the biggest weight off, you get a random phone call that somethings broken and you suddenly have to come up with hundreds straight away. Weve had yo get loans from friends and the bank or in a few cases put people off which you could go to court over.

This thread is horrible, and the worst part is the people who feel they can say 'most landlords do x' Or 'most renters do x.' There's is no one size fits all. OP for the record, I do think people should be able to do anything that makes their place a home, but I understand the pet thing, our ll had to do serious work on the place because the people before us had a dog that tore up the lino and scratched skirting boards and doors. When we came to see it first we were but he had it all fixed when we moved in. As a result we're not allowed pets. It's a pity but fine, actually one of our tenants had a dog and the hair and smell was Seri o us when they moved out, they'd cleaned really well but seemed to be immune to the smell!!!!

I think the problem is that it then takes a lot of money, time and trouble to put the decor back how it needs to be to get someone else to rent it after you’re gone.
Have you asked if you can repaint and put up a bigger deposit to cover the cost of putting it back to magnolia when you move out?

YANBU. I know exactly what you mean; the choices that you have over “your” home can be very limited when renting but I can understand the position of Landlords who have experienced bad tenants previously. Unfortunately that means that generally it’s a blanket ban on decorating to your own tastes and owning pets with often no chance of reasonable negotiation. Frankly I think this is discrimination as home owners get choices but renters are limited. Will it be a case of kids going to school and being able to see other kids get pets and personalised bedrooms cos their parents own, so a form of social immobility, like branded clothes do? I grew up in council property’s and we could decorate our home, plant the garden and have a dog. Same as others in my class, irrespective of being renters or owners. But most families now have to rent privately as there’s little chance of social housing and with it come the restrictions. Renters have a duty to maintain the property in a good state for the Landlord but Landlords also need to reward good tenets with flexibility to turn the house into their home

People work hard to buy a property to rent , my parents will use that as a pension . Both my parents had three jobs when they were saving for the house and sacrificed hugely , they are not “loaded” by any stretch of the imagination. OP you come across extremely bitter and angry at all landlords for YOUR position. Stop shifting the blame and look to improve your own situation. Have you thought about a shared ownership scheme ? Or the first time buyers route to get help with maybe purchasing your own place ? Alternatively maybe move to somewhere cheaper so you can save and get a decent deposit, if the house prices are too expensive maybe look further afield , there are beautiful neighbourhoods that don’t come with overpriced price tags.
Assuming you work can you look to upskill and obtain a job that pays more.
No one owes anybody favours in this life , you have to make your own way , life’s a struggle but if you want your life to be different then the only person who can make that happen is you! Not your landlord . X

Not sure who you would rely on to look after you or your family if I left my nursing profession of which I have years of experience and worked hard to get qualified and work more than full time hours.

To save for a deposit I would have to move my kids to a horrible area, live in a cramped damp flat, send them to crap schools and even then it would take years of their childhoods before I had the deposit to buy. My choice is to give them the best childhood and opportunities I can, therefore I am having to accept I most likely will not ever own, will possibly be a lifelong renter and considering the amount of money that I will be spending towards other people’s properties that I will never have any return on I would like to be able to have a home that feels like it actually is our home and not ask permission for the smallest things.

I am not disputing that you don’t work hard op , but if your goal is to get a family home for you and your little ones then are you working at the best place that reward your efforts?
Can you move to rent somewhere cheaper where you can save for a little while ? Short term uncomfortabiloty for the longer term security?

@miljah @mathanxiety you both sound like really lovely people.

Lefty1 I work to absolute capacity. I refuse to move my kids to a vile area like I said with awful schools for years because that’s the only way i’d have a chance. Once upon a time someone in a profession who works the hours I do would have a good shot of owning a home. With the price of renting in decent areas it’s a trap that many like me cannot get out of. The thing is if I manage to somehow scrape together and buy a home look how many people live in private rented accommodation anyway. Millions. And paying huge amounts of rent. Why shouldn’t anybody doing that be able to feel at home?

Okay i live in the midlands , I grew up in what was considered “a rough area” with a school that was ok, not great , my mum spent time educating myself and my brother after school to ensure we getting ahead. Things were tight , I knew my mum and dad weren’t loaded but I had an amazing child hood and they brought a house eventually in a nice area. I went on to Uni and am fortunate to have a well paid job, so I think I turned out ok , I love the fact I’m from a bit of down and out area as it’s made me the person I am now. I guess what I’m saying is don’t be quick to write certain solutions off.

When it's your property you can do what you want.

Have you tried to speaking to your LL about the decor and pet situation? I can understand a LL not wanting a massive dog but a cat or some of the smaller type dogs that are known to be placid then he / she may be okay with?
Sorry if you’ve said this already , it’s a really long thread and I confess I haven’t read it all .

I also grew up in the type of areas you describe. I loved my childhood. We also moved to a better area when we were older. But I work in all sorts of these areas and they are not how they used to be. Much more violence. You would not want to go back the way things are now, I see enough in the places I would have to live to save a deposit to know it’s not something I am willing to do to my children. Ok that’s my choice. But lots of people in my position, the only thing separating me to home owners is a 20k deposit. Because I don’t have that I have to be treated like an inferior member of society that has to go asking like a child to hang a frigging picture up in the home I pay to live in. It’s definitely a case of the haves having power over the have nots. It’s in all the contracts I’ve ever reacted off. And my last landlord tried to keep the deposit over damage that was already there when we moved in. Luckily the agency had photos of it all.

Also have you searches for 100% mortgages that you could be potentially eligible for ? Here is a link to a site I just found : www.money.co.uk/mortgages/guarantor-mortgages.htm and I have screen shot some of the results so you can see what is coming up

I will have a look @ lefty1 thanks for the suggestion

If you're a long term renter then you should totally be allowed to paint your walls. You're not smearing them in excrement ffs! You're just giving them a fresh coat of paint. It's maintenance!
As a long term renter though I can give you tips on decorating your kids room within the terms of your lease! 😄 Vinyl wall stickers work a treat, felt shapes and glow in the dark plastic stars with blue tack (doesn't damage walls if you use teeny amounts and take it off with a clean plastic spoon)
Assure the landlord you will paint it back to magnolia afterwards.
We bought a tiny house finally after 17 years renting and it was 100% worth it. My daughter and I never have to worry about eviction again. We have our forever home. Keep going, keep your chin up and have as much fun with the kids as you can xxx

Full time working mum of one having fun ♥