To think that if you private rent your life should not be dictated to by the landlord whose mortgage you are paying

[Nursejackie1]

So many of us are stuck in private renting with no choice paying over the odds, while landlords are making a mint. Most landlords have all these rules that you can’t decorate without permission, can’t even put a wall hanging up without asking. Often can’t or need permission to have pets, have regular inspections. I pay loads for my home and due to that cannot save a deposit. My kids have never had their bedrooms decorated in the way I would like.. having to stick with plain magnolia. Why should somebody else decide whether my kids get to grow up with a family pet or not? AIBU to think that if you are paying somebodies mortgage for them then while you are in that house you should be able to treat it as your own within reason and not have your life dictated to and controlled by them?

All you landlords who don’t want tenants to paint, I presume you have a regular schedule for re-decoration? How often are you repainting the magnolia if you have long term tenants?

I’ve lived in my house for 9 years, LL hasn’t painted it once and also won’t allow me to paint

"It's not your landlords fault that you are not in a position to buy."

Buy to let probably has been the cause of some of the sharp increase in house price/earnings multiples. (Not all of it - there are many reasons - but probably some.)

Anyway, the op's first post is a very good answer to the 'the UK is too fixated on owner occupation, renting is fine in the rest of Europe' type arguments. Private renting is less good in many ways - you do have less security, rules about pets, decoration etc. (yes owner occupiers have constraints - planning permission, party wall act, etc, but not to the same level of detail - and they also face a degree of capital risk, but on the other hand they have the possibility of capital growth as well.)

YANBU I agree with you.

YABU. You don't own the house they do and it's their choice.

DDIJ I do not have a cats chance in hell at the moment of saving a deposit for a house so any I rent are the closest thing to our home for me and my kids. I have been paying more rent than a mortgage would cost for years and have never felt at home. I am forced to pay a huge amount of rent for a small property so that my kids are near to decent schools. I have to accept that that’s the way it is but don’t think it’s fair that for years I am going to be paying over the odds and will most likely not feel at home or have stability.

I’m away to be an “accidental landlord” as we have t rent out the family home to cover care home fees.
One thing I will not be doing is painting the walls bloody magnolia!! I’d hate to live in a house with magnolia walls so I don’t expect anyone else to! I wouldn’t be keen on tenant redecorating as I’ll just have paid a painter a fair whack of money to decorate the house, and a tenant’s idea and mine of a good paint job could be miles and miles apart.

All you landlords who don’t want tenants to paint, I presume you have a regular schedule for re-decoration?

We redecorate between tenancies as required and allow tenants to redecorate providing we agree to it - no goth black walls for example. Most want to put up wallpaper to make a feature wall and we agree and let them leave it at the end of a tenancy. Depending what they want to do we pay half - if they want to take up a carpet and replace it with a laminate floor we would pay half as long as they use our recommended person.

But OP surely you understand that cats can make houses smell? And rip any furniture/wallpaper that comes with the property? And if, for example, you decided to paint your child's room pink that would put off some future tenants who don't like pink?

Landlords keep everything bland for a reason - to appeal to the most people.

I used to rent and it's not great and I'm glad I've bought a house now. Although I think for me the biggest thing is the security and not having to move every year or so.

Nursejackie1

Stop playing the poor me card, you don’t know why people become landlords and believe me there are far more rules that a landlord has to adhere to than you as a tenant, if you don’t like your current landlord move.

The attitude of some people on here is very telling. People who cant afford a house (yet) or aren't ready to buy yet for whatever reason aren't wastrels begging LLs to allow them shelter.

If I go out and buy a coffee I don't expect the barista to give me grief for not having the wherewithal to make one at home.

I hear you OP. The housing situation is this country is bullshit. There’s this odd feeling amongst the landlord classes that those of us who’ve had to rent long term are kind of indentured tenants, who should be bowing and scraping thanking the landlord for being so kind as to let us pay huge rent for their (often) not great properties. We are in London and rented for years, including with kids, and there was this attitude from the older generation (including the rich, property portfolio landlord) that we were so lucky to have been allowed to rent his house and that if we were somehow better with money we might have brought our own house.

In the end we saved and saved and a timely inheritance was what managed to get us on the (ridiculous, out of hand, London) property ladder. It’s been a few years now but I’m still so relieved to no longer be answerable to a landlord with inspections and the like.

Property is rented out for different reasons, people working abroad for a few years and don’t want to sell, people who are in hospital for long term treatment, people who have moved in with someone and want somewhere if it does not work out, people In care who need the rent to pay costs, etc.

The private rental market is not that large compared to the number of houses in the country are many are fully paid for.

Don’t forget landlords have bad tenants who cause damage.

It is better to buy your property before you have the large expenses of children

Judgerindersminder with all due respect if the tenants are good tenants and end up renting long term ... they are the ones paying to live there and they are the ones looking at the decor every day not you?

I am going to agree with you. It is your home. It never really struck me but we have a lot of European workers in my department and it drives them mad. Home ownership isn’t as high in other countries so renting is the norm and none of them can believe the set up about not decorating or hanging pictures. In this country renters are meant to float about in the space but never leave a mark.

YABU to say it’s partly landlords fault you can’t afford to buy. I’m of the same generation of austerity and am a landlord. Worked incredibly hard blah blah blah. I’m not saying you didn’t work hard but I’m not responsible for any short comings you feel you have in not being able to get a house.

We allow our tenants pets (one tenant has two Akita’s, the others have one dog or a cat). Although I think it’s pretty irresponsible to collect pets when you’re renting as it’s well documented that it’s difficult to find somewhere that will accept them. We’re relaxed about it but not many are.

Re decorating, we allow it after the first year of the term. But we ask that they are careful. All the properties have been renovated and decorated before tenants moved in and paint on the floors, skirting boards or fixtures of the bathroom is a pain in the ass and an expense for us. We ask that the colours are relatively neutral. Eg sage green, grey fine. No black it’s too hard to cover. One of our tenants has just remodelled the garden and that’s fine too.

I think it’s important tenants feel like the house is their home, because everyone deserves to have a safe space and also, perhaps selfishly, they are less likely to move on as finding new, decent tenants is just hassle. For that reason we’re reluctant to increase rent on renewals too.

Your choice to have children and then live in an area of the schools you like.

Most people buy before having children so the time can work as much as they need to to get the deposit together.

Not all landlords are unreasonable.
We are lucky enough to be able to rent our old flat and buy another house (though tbf we tried to sell it for way over a year with no luck)
We have a long term tenant who we really like (and yes, single parent- with children).
We lowered the rent so they can afford it, agreed to a dog because he's part of the family, and they have redecorated. Weve also paid for different fixtures as the ones suited us didn't suit a larger family.
However the letting agent advised against all of these. If you are a first time landlord you are largely guided by the letting agent, luckily I'd seen on mn how we didn't want to be.

As far as the subject of LL making money goes - yes there are some who perhaps haven't had it easy themselves, but in the main, most of them are doing very well out of it I am sure. Great for them but not so great for the renter. Before anyone comes up with the 'we all have the same chance' comment, that's not strictly true.

Blaming it on landlords and taking no personal responsibility for any of your own lifestyle choices isn't right. Nor is the huge sense of entitlement the op is demonstrating.

What a nasty post. The OP has demonstrated no such thing. And to suggest that buying a property is all down to lifestyle choices alone is quite frankly ridiculous and staggeringly out of touch. What about nurses and people doing other important jobs on low wages? Should they never have the opportunity to own their own home? People with attitudes like yours make me really angry to be honest.

I don’t think it’s very fair to say ‘it was your choice to have kids’ (especially on a parenting site) - not everyone is able to buy a property before they get on the ladder, birth control mistakes happen etc.

When renting we asked to paint our child's room and we were allowed if we returned back to it's original state. We painted it a very pale, soft grey and all the woodwork fresh white. We put decals on the wall which were easily removed and added colourful touch with rugs and cushions and hung pictures with those clear plastic easily removable hooks that stick on the wall and don't leave a mark. They checked the room when we left and didn't ask us to repaint as it was lovely and neutral.

Adversecamber22

They are minor issues your real anger is because you can’t afford to buy your own property. Look to the chain of events that led you down your life’s route. See if you can change something, in reality you may not be able to but your frustrations are directed incorrectly.

This has made me furious on OPs behalf. Look to the chain of events that led you down your life’s route the chain of events was probably the banks printing money and the fact that that created a housing bubble so wages haven’t gone up in line with house prices, so OP like a lot of us, has got stuck in private renting paying more than she would be on a mortgage because no one will lend to her. Oh, and she’s probably also of a generation paying back massive student loans too.

This topic makes me very, very angry.

I also think people are being very patronising saying things like me not being able to buy is a “shortcoming” etc. We could go into it forever. Some people inherit houses. Some are gifted deposits. Some people have kids before saving for a house. Some people have responsibilities so young that no matter how hard they work they cannot save. Many many reasons. But the point is that as so many people in this country have no choice but to rent it should be a decent way to live, the home you are paying for at that time should be your home.

We no longer allow tenants to decorate due to a very bad experience with our previous one - who painted several rooms a very vivid bright pink, and the carpet, tiles, electric sockets and must have left the paintbrush in the sink as that was pink too. Their dog (which they should have asked permission to have and didnt) pooed in the house, garden and looked like it had dug a hole in the landing carpet - we are talking 2ft wide not anything tiny.

so what I'm saying is that a lot of LL's have been stung by bad tenants and thats why they are less flexible.

@Nursejackie1 I would love to think we’d get a long term tenant, and if that were the case, I can’t see why I wouldn’t be open to discussion with them about decorating, the point you make about them looking at the decor is spot on, amd I’m thinking I may be being a wee bit unreasonable
Can you tell I’m very much feeling my way on this, so am open to points like the ones you’re making, but at the same time I’m sh*tting myself in case it all goes wrong!! (Although I’m using an excellent agent who does really stringent background checks and visits to prospective tenants)