Aibu to throw away my career

[mumofthreehundred]

I currently am employed by a company that I have worked for for 15 years. Trouble is for the last 5 years I've really not enjoyed working there. In fact I dread each day and cry at my desk at least a few times a week. Great benefits and pay is good (in theory). They let me work 4 days a week and that's as part time as I'm allowed. I end up doing hours in evening and starting early each day.

I also have 3 children under four including a set of surprise twins. Although I do get help with childcare (from my mum in law one day a week) I still pay loads (left with 500 quid after childcare). When my son starts school, I'm going to need to add holiday cover and after school and breakfast club. I've worked out that our total outgoings vs income is around £150 left.

I've seen a job advertised that is in a school and term time only that is approx 1/6th of my current salary! It doesn't even hit national insurance thresholds. It's only 10 hours a week!

I did the maths again and because I'd need only a childminder one x1 morning and all of school holidays off. Doing the income verses outgoings, I'd have £110 left each month. I may even qualify for some tax credits to add to that.

Am I missing something here? Yes it's scary on just one salary? I am throwing away a career but it's something I have zero desire to stay in. I'd get to spend more time with kids. Do every school pick off and drop off. I'm starting a career in a sector I'm very interested in.

Cons are; I am missing national insurance payments. What if my husband has issues with his job? What if I got sick and couldn't work? What if I hate my new job?

We have finally come to terms with the fact short of a lottery win, we won't be moving house anytime soon. And I'd rather be happy in life than say "I've got a better garden" or "I've got a spare room".

Other potential issues are: will I find someone to mind children one session a week (term time only)? My notice period is 2 months and the job needs you to start ASAP.

This is just in theory as I've not even been shortlisted yet!

I don't think you realise how much competition there will be for the job. It's basic admin so they will have lots applying for it, including people straight out of college. They are wise enough to work out who actually wants the job for the actual role than who wants it's for convenience whilst it currently suits.

Is your DH happy to be the only earner whilst you do a token few hours?. By the time you've paid for childcare for the third day you're unlikely coming out with much salary at all. Not to mention no pension, no help with childcare etc.

Retrain then, in something you're more interested in but that will give you a decent career. Moving into a job that's low paid and doesn't require any specific training is pretty unlikely to evolve into a stimulating career I'm afraid.

Why don’t you apply for it anyway and think about how it could work in the meantime?

School based jobs are very competitive and you might find you are not shortlisted through being overqualified or not experienced or whatever.

If your job is so bad you are crying at your desk I do think you need to get out for your own sanity.

I loved my job but couldn’t make it work as a single parent around two disabled children with childcare/illness/appointments/inset days etc and did have to take a few years out. It has affected my career yes but the logistics just didn’t work.

It also depends on how old you are. You can get your career back on track in a few years if you are young enough.

Every child qualifies for 15 hours free don't they?

Yes they do

My job has changed since maternity leave. I actually moved team and am doing a different job. I thought a change would make a positive difference. And spark my interest again but it's made it worse.

What is it you actually do OP? Would be helpful to know so we can suggest ideas.

One day, after a shit day of work, I earnt £120 (6 hours), saw on Facebook my kids having a lovely day out at the zoo with childminder, drove to pick them up, handed over the £110 for looking after them, then thought 'what the fuck am I doing?' Handed in my notice shortly after.

If you are expected to do extra hours then what do you get in return? Overtime or time off in lieu? I expect the overtime is a no-no but I’d start saying: “I worked xx extra hours last month, that’s two days off in lieu.” Then take them. If they object say you want either a pay rise or to negotiate a more flexible arrangement because of your childcare responsibilities. You have rights! It sounds like their working arrangements make it particularly difficult for you as a working mother. Being female is a “protected characteristic” and making things harder for you as a female could be indirect discrimination. You don’t want it to go so far that you say that overtly but you need to stand up for yourself at work! It’s hard but it will be worth it.

Don’t give up your job. The kids won’t be small forever and it’s hard to get back in to the workplace. The “pack it in” brigade don’t realise that. Can you negotiate to work from home a day or two a week? Is that in any way possible? There are all sorts of flexible working arrangements these days.

You need a salary of your own. Nobody knows what the future will bring and anything could happen to your husband’s job or your marriage. Good luck.

I work in pharma sector. High level admin. Not really science based. Not using my degree.

Is your current niche job something you could in some form on a self employed basis? Even if you took a low paid part time job now and slowly built up the self employed role.

Sorry cross post.

Most of my friends that do this job don't have a degree. It's not required. It's a well paid admin job essentially in a sector that looks after its employees with above average wages.

Apply!

What's your career. Can you contract? Provide your services to others virtually from home?

I actually don’t think you are being paid enough. Ask for a raise or renegotiate your hours. This is why we have a gender pay gap. Women are barely paid enough to cover childcare. The hours are impossible. So you crash out of work. Then you can never get back in at the same level. I do sympathise with you but remember a career is your whole working life. How can you keep it going for now at this level?

I'm not sure if the school job is right for you, but I'd definitely look into something else, life is too short. I'm sure there's a compromise between what you're doing now and the school job.

Just seen its admin. How about offering your services to a number of local small businesses as a virtual assistant. I'm a business owner and this is invaluable service to me. £15/£20 an hour to do things like a reception function, book keeping and inbox managment as well as setting up systems. Sell hour block packages on a monthly basis to a number of businesses. Work around the kids an from home and build something that is yours.

Check tax credit entitlement for couples (I’ve been single a while so out of touch now). If your dh is working full time and you have under fives at home you may be able to get more tax credits if you stop work for a while. That’ll give you a break to concentrate on the children and then move into a new career when the twins turn three and get their 30hr funding.

I didn't think they were processing any new tax credit claims? I thought new applications were for UC, and you could only claim tax credits if you're currently receiving them and not having a change of circumstances.
Might be wrong.. but don't factor in tax credits as I don't believe you can get them as a new claimant anymore.

OP I feel for you, it's hard coming back off ML to a work environment you don't like and for so little net reward and such young kids.
I'd be tempted to take a career break until the twins get the 30 hours free childcare then look for another job elsewhere. Your skills may be more transferable than you think, you may be under-selling yourself massively.
For example In my sector (university admin) we have lots of women returners, no one is bothered about a couple of years out.

I think you need to widen your options and perhaps just look for a totally different job where the longer hours aren't expected.

If you are crying at your desk regularly in your current job then you need to change it. Are you suffering depression and need to see a GP? It is not normal to cry at work like this. Presuming you work with others, they must notice and it must affect them too. If you carry on you may have a mental break down. Does your employer not notice how poorly you are coping?

I don't know why you would refer to the 10 hours per week school role as a "new career". That won't be a career, it will just be a job.

According to www.gov.uk website Child Tax Credit has been replaced by UC for most people so you would need to claim UC (unless you get the Severe Disability Premium in which case you can make a new claim for Child Tax Credits).

If the crying is a health issue see your GP, otherwise look for another less demanding role in terms of hours. Why don't you hand in your notice and start looking in earnest for other positions. What about temping for a short time or part time evening work? Could you do a job working from home?

Be very aware that school funding is always hit by budgets and support staff roles are up for redundancy every few days years so there isn’t great job security.

Going slightly against the grain... You obviously hate your career so is throwing it away such a bad thing? Apply for the school job and over the next couple of days research how it would affect you financially really thoroughly. Then if you get invited for interview you know whether to accept or not. I'd be inclined to look at other flexible ways of bringing in an income, that you could possibly start and build while doing the school job (if you got it). You can start a new career, it might be in schools, it might be elsewhere. Just make sure you've got your sums right and don't rely on mixed responses on an internet forum to do that.

A friend of mine did something like this, but left after a year. She didn't hate the new job but found it quite boring; also after years of working in a fairly high level role she found herself having to button her lip all the time, e.g. when the teacher told the class that 10% of 100 is 1. Afterwards she went back into her old field, but was able to pick up a lot of freelance work so she could control her timetable. Is anything like that a possibility for you?