Aibu to throw away my career

[mumofthreehundred]

I currently am employed by a company that I have worked for for 15 years. Trouble is for the last 5 years I've really not enjoyed working there. In fact I dread each day and cry at my desk at least a few times a week. Great benefits and pay is good (in theory). They let me work 4 days a week and that's as part time as I'm allowed. I end up doing hours in evening and starting early each day.

I also have 3 children under four including a set of surprise twins. Although I do get help with childcare (from my mum in law one day a week) I still pay loads (left with 500 quid after childcare). When my son starts school, I'm going to need to add holiday cover and after school and breakfast club. I've worked out that our total outgoings vs income is around £150 left.

I've seen a job advertised that is in a school and term time only that is approx 1/6th of my current salary! It doesn't even hit national insurance thresholds. It's only 10 hours a week!

I did the maths again and because I'd need only a childminder one x1 morning and all of school holidays off. Doing the income verses outgoings, I'd have £110 left each month. I may even qualify for some tax credits to add to that.

Am I missing something here? Yes it's scary on just one salary? I am throwing away a career but it's something I have zero desire to stay in. I'd get to spend more time with kids. Do every school pick off and drop off. I'm starting a career in a sector I'm very interested in.

Cons are; I am missing national insurance payments. What if my husband has issues with his job? What if I got sick and couldn't work? What if I hate my new job?

We have finally come to terms with the fact short of a lottery win, we won't be moving house anytime soon. And I'd rather be happy in life than say "I've got a better garden" or "I've got a spare room".

Other potential issues are: will I find someone to mind children one session a week (term time only)? My notice period is 2 months and the job needs you to start ASAP.

This is just in theory as I've not even been shortlisted yet!

Tax free childcare and 30 hours depend on both parents earning "enough"

10 hr job not enough so you'll be trapped when the twins reach 3 as you can't get 30 hours free without a job and can't afford childcare to start the job...

Hold out for something with enough hours/pay.

I've been upset at work mainly due to low confidence. I'm newly back after 12 months off maternity leave and I'm not well supported. It's not getting better at all.

I did similar over 6 years ago. Never once regretted it for a second. I'm very very happy with my part time work plus never outsourcing childcare. In fact, I consider it perfect.
Go for it. Imo.

I don't see why there are only two options for you? I left my old job and have a new one on less money but a lot more flexible (I work 9.30-2.30 five days a week.) This is in preparation for when my two under fours go to school. I'll still have the holidays to cover but they said I might be able to work fewer, longer days then so I'll be ok, MIL works in a school so she can help me out.
I think you should hold out for something that's better pay but still part time. There are lots out there.
Also you won't get tax credits if your dh earns too much. My partner and I earn less than £30,000 and we only get the childcare allowance, so if we don't pay for any childcare we don't get anything. I'd ring the hotline and check first.

So even if I got a full time job in future, I can't get the 30 free hours based on what my new salary and situation will be? Can't I phone up and explain I will be starting a new job that meets the specification?

What do you mean by not well supported? Given you have done the job for so long do you really need support, did it change a lot whilst you were on maternity?

I wouldn't my be quitting to claim benefits because I didn't really like my job.

I returned to work in a school and although there are aspects of it I love, it's (even for the few hours a week I do it) quite draining and the pay is so poor. But having the same holidays off as my kids is awesome. I don't have to worry about cover, which is huge.

But I won't lie, it's very, very dull. I'm a midday supervisor/LSA and it does get extremely repetitive.

If you're getting child benefit that facilitates you receiving NI contributions for a limited period.

Are these really the only two jobs that are realistically available to you though? Does it have to be admin?

Can you move closer to a more thriving job market?

I think that you're obviously very unhappy in your current job, but I think you're in danger of making a rash decision that you may later regret.

Financially - yes, you're working for very little "extra" a month, but your children won't be in childcare forever. And don't forget the effect that reducing your salary will have on your pension. It will be massive. Please, please see a pensions advisor and talk through the implications before you make a decision.

As someone else says, what if your DH loses his job? It's a huge amount of financial pressure for him to be under as the sole breadwinner.

Career-wise - you might think at the moment that you wouldn't care about going to a low-paid job, but in all likelihood you will never get back to where you were. Then you risk being stuck in a job that you come to hate every bit as much as the current one, but you'll probably be stuck in it, or something similar.

Definitely, without question, look for another job. Think very carefully about all the implications of taking this one.

I don't mean to be mean but how do you know you'll get this job? Do you have the experience. I've worked in catering for years and we wouldn't hire anyone without catering experience. If it's admin then do you have experience. It's quite competitive out there.

Can you try and stay for a while, if you are just back it must be extra hard. I’m thinking long term about your pension & career progression. Presumably you’re mid-30s, can you really see yourself being happy doing 3 mornings a week in a small environment long term? I second the advice to go to a careers coach & talk about your options/hopes. A friend of mine went to see one and has ended up having a complete career change and is now an approved candidate for a political party, she wants to become an MP!

No I wouldn’t, your children are very young. Childcare gets easier and less expensive as they get older.
whilst it might get you out of a hole now, you will be swapping a well paid career for a (sought after) 10 hrs a week admin job. It may well be boring and I doubt it’s going to be very challenging for 10 hrs a week.

Once I switched to parttime from full time, with so much more time on my hands, I found I saved money left, right and centre on things I didn't expect. So, I have to time to drive to Aldi to shop rather than home delivery; I have time to build up a present box when things are on offer rather than rushing out last minute; I pay nothing for hair cuts/little for beauty treatments as colleges always need people to practise ok during the day etc

I don't know that I will get this job at all. But no point trying for it if it really is a bad idea.

I believe I am qualified for it, although I've never worked in a school. If all school jobs say you need to have worked in a school to get a job how the hell do you start off?! I have been volunteering in order to boost experience.

I think I'll regret staying. I'd rather start a new career now whilst I'm in my 30s.

When the twins start school I'll still need to find money for holidays and afterschool for them until probably year 7?

You say you have hated it for 5 years (roughly 2 of which were maternity) that is a loooong time to hate a job!

It sounds like you want this new job mostly to “escape” your current one. I don’t think it’s a good idea for reasons others mention.

It’s also not that binary - there must be other jobs in similar sectors that you could look at.

In the short term I would suggest working on not letting your job affect you so much.
Having been there myself it was utterly hideous one of the things that helped me was realising I actually had some control over the situation. This wasn’t just “happening at me”, I acknowledged I was choosing to go in and could quit if I wanted.
I also started training myself to give zero fucks. (‘twas truly liberating)
“Sorry can’t do an 8am call”.
“Sorry can’t do a 5pm meeting”
At 1pm pencil down and wander off, 2pm back to desk.
Do the bare minimum of your role.
Realise if something goes wrong 🤷‍♀️ Because it’s not actually your problem... its your bosses (just escalate it in writing 💁‍♀️) Never work a 5th day again “sorry I can’t I have tickets for an all day event. see you next week! 😬”

You have been there long enough that even if they decide they want you out, they’d have to do a settlement and pay you serious cash to go. At which point you’d have 4-8 months pay + to decide what to do.

Hang in there... it’s not easy

I'd leave. Crying at your desk a few times a week is no way to live. If you only need to work ten hours a week though there might be other ways to do that? One night shift a week in a care/retail environment would cover that and leave you with no extra childcare requirements. Would also leave you time to potentially retrain for something you do want to do.

I would look for alternative work that is a bit closer to your current pay. Leaving a job you hate is a good idea, but I would be wary of swapping it for a low paid job 10 hours per week.

The childcare thing for lots of little kids is a painful expense, I've been there and had bugger all left at the end of the month, but it does pass in a few years and then you've still got a decent salary to upgrade your house/enjoy your life/go on holiday/pay for your kids activities. I am really glad I kept my career going: I am a teacher and had to change schools along the way as I was unhappy, but now all the kids are in school I'm delighted to be earning decent money. Think carefully about what you do as it has an impact on the future, not just now

Do it

I've worked in a horrendous job with toxic atmosphere and it destroys you

Go for the school job

I can't begin to explain how niche my job is. It's in a sector that is well known for long hours.

If I started leaving on time etc all that would happen is I would get emails asking why I hadn't done something yesterday etc.

It's written in our contracts... that we do extra hours as the business requires

You're throwing your career away long term based on a short term problem.

Imagine trying to negotiate a decent salary after the school job when £10k is the starting point

Look at moving sectors but at the same level you're currently at.

You say you're working in a science/maths sector. Does that mean you have a science/maths degree? In that case I'd have thought there were other options open to you. I wouldn't rush straight into the first opening that you see without looking for other possibilities that make more use of your qualifications.

Don't assume that all maths/science workplaces are dysfunctional. The best places (most relaxed, supportive etc) I worked were pure science, the worst was HR.

If at end of month you are only £120 better off, you might as well find something you can do from home that makes you more than £30 weekly. Have you seen the £10 a day thread. That is over double what you would clear in new job with childcare costs. Could DH work 4 days a week to allow you to do one long shift on something. My advice would be to do your own childcare until all at school but look at creative ways of keeping any qualifications and skills fresh even if just once a week.

There must be other options out there that aren't quite so drastic a salary cut - I really would look into things more. If you genuinely really want to move into education, are you pitching yourself at the right level? If you have a maths/science type job at the moment, I am sure you can do better.

Tbh, sounds like you've lost a lot of confidence after mat leave which isn't a good time to make really big career decisions