Parent or instrumental teacher?

[MarjoryDawess]

Child missed instrumental music lesson because parent forgot to bring instrument to school.

Instrumental teacher didn’t allow child to borrow a spare instrument.

Parent is upset because child missed lesson, teacher maintains children have to bring their instrument to receive tuition.

Who IBU? Parent or teacher?

I think parent is wrong in this instance. It is the parent and child's responsibility to ensure the instrument is there for every lesson.

The instrument might be lent/rented out by the School/music service but if the child were to drop the instrument and break it in some way then the child who it "belonged" to wouldn't be able to practice until it was fixed or replaced, which could take weeks. Lessons aren't cheap and I'd be annoyed as a parent if I were paying for expensive lessons and my child couldn't practice each day because someone else had broken my child's instrument. Also (and I'm not sure how it works so this might not apply) but would the original child's family be liable to replace the instrument if it were to get broken?

Parent is insane. I'm a music teacher and when they show up without their instrument they're sent packing. It's the absolute minimum level of engagement required from them!

At the school I work at instruments are hired from the County Music Service as part of the 'deal' with music lessons.
I lose count of the number of children who forget their instrument each week. The music teacher sometimes lets them use her own but if it's a persistent thing (which it IS - never ceases to amaze me that people are prepared to pay termly for this and forget to send the instrument in!) she just covers the theory side of things.
It must be very frustrating for her!

Overly entitled parent.

It’s a group lesson not a 1-1 lesson so theory wouldn’t be an option

OK, so we're being deliberately evasive.

It's not a wind instrument/doesn't have a mouthpiece. Which eliminates flute, clarinet, recorder, fife, penny whistle or trumpet.

If it's inexpensive, it can't be a violin or guitar.

It can't be a piano, keyboard, cello or drum kit as they aren't portable and inexpensive.

It's a ukulele, isn't it?

Seeing the state of the work ones after children have compulsively fucked with the machine heads, there is no way on earth somebody else's is being forcibly removed to indulge another's parent.

If it isn't a ukulele and it is a guitar or violin (the latter is likely if it's SoundStart), the ones 'supplied' by the school or music service are paid for. They aren't free. Even if the parent doesn't personally hand over the money, the school has paid for individual instruments per child - not communal ones for any random whose mother forgot it to demand.

You're still in the wrong, even with the process of elimination half answers.

There will be a space for a more committed child in the classes then, no? This has self weeded, really.

Come on OP! Which one are you?

Parent is in the wrong.

If an instrument belong to another child it’s not “spare”. Whether the child is using it at that moment is irrelevant, they shouldn’t have to lend their property because another child and parent were disorganised.

I think the OP is the music teacher.

And YABU for posting in this style, it’s bloody irritating, just admit you’re the parent who forgot and are pissed off that people don’t think other children should have to lend your child their instruments because of your child’s/your mistake.

Ha ha , I’m the best friend of the instrumental teacher- been on the phone with her upset by a disgruntled parent whose child missed their lesson because they forgot. She explained to me why she couldn’t just hand over another.

I don’t think she’s used to dealing with stroppy parents, they’re normally very nice and polite!

Parent is 100% unreasonable here.

It's very common for students to loan instruments from the music service until they choose to buy their own, usually when they are older and in full size instruments.

If another parent has sorted an instrument for their child then it isn't a spare to pass around other students. That parent is accountable for the instrument and its not for lending out.

Parent is outraged to the point where they are switching the child to a different instrument and therefore different teacher

Tell your friend life’s too short to have to deal with parents like that, and she’s well shot of them! Then then tell her not to give them a second thought.

Budgie I did lol, she’s having a large gin as we speak, hopefully forgotten all about it

Let's hope your best friend's Mum isn't on here then, as she'll know who it is because she's complained about her precious offspring missing the group lesson due to forgetting the uke/violin.

If she's that stroppy about something like that, I'm sure she won't hesitate to complain again.

if you aren't hastily backtracking now the consensus has been the parent is in the wrong

The wbole 20 questions thing was a pain - at least if you were the parent we could have had a nice row to make up for it!

best friend's Stroppy Mum

Well then I apologise for thinking you’re the entitled parent, although I still think YABU for trying to be vague and “neutral”

Your friend should stick to her guns, she’s not BU the parents are. If she loses them as customers, they’re not a great loss and hopefully she can replace them with less entitled ones!

Is it a recorder?!

Instruments belonging to others are not "spares" they belong to the owner. Each player plays differently and that's likely to have an effect on most instruments. Plus there's the possibility of damage, insurance issues etc especially at such a young age.

Parent IBU adults old enough to remember such things.

"Instrument is inexpensive" irrelevant - they're not free!

Yes tell your friend it's a blessing in disguise! Not having to deal with a parent like that will be a relief surely?

If she's explained a reason why she couldn't lend the child a school instrument, then yes, back to the parent's fault!

Parent is being unreasonable. If she wanted her child to have a lesson she or the child should have ensured they had the instrument. Simple.

If you forget your instrument it's your fault. Not the teachers. Standard stuff.