Parent or instrumental teacher?

[MarjoryDawess]

Child missed instrumental music lesson because parent forgot to bring instrument to school.

Instrumental teacher didn’t allow child to borrow a spare instrument.

Parent is upset because child missed lesson, teacher maintains children have to bring their instrument to receive tuition.

Who IBU? Parent or teacher?

If another child offered the loan of their instrument then fair enough but no one should be expected to lend something fairly expensive because the other child's parent dropped the ball ...

Parent IBU 100%. Maybe they or their child will remember next time.

The teacher is right.

If another child's instrument was damaged then their parents would expect to be compensated for that. If they discovered that the teacher was the one who had asked them to share, they would almost certainly consider it to be the teacher's responsibility to pay up.

Parent IBU

Would parent be happy to find out that their child's instrument was being lent out to other 8 year olds without prior permission and no insurance?

”Could have borrowed one from another child in a different group“

That’s not spare then is it? I would be fuming if either of my two came home and said another child had borrowed their instrument.

"And who are you? The parent or the teacher?"

Post twist...OP is the 8 yo

In that case parent is clearly unreasonable. Of course the music teacher can't arrange to borrow another child's instrument - why should they be responsible in case it got damaged?

It would be different if the child had independently found an instrument to borrow, turned up at the lesson and the teacher refused to teach them.

Plot twist 🤦

As a music teacher, it’s really frustrating when children forget their instrument. Books is one thing as I have a stock with me but I no longer lend my instruments out after watching them being dropped! I definitely wouldn’t encourage any other children to lend each other instruments in the primary years, it’s not fair if any damage is done to the instrument

Its not a spare instrument if it belongs to another child

Parent is BU

(My DH is an instrument teacher)

Parent is being unreasonable. The issue was their fault.

Parent's fault - it's not the place of the teacher to take or demand another child to hand over their instrument. Bad enough when it's a guitar, but when you get to violins, not only is there the violin itself to worry about, there's the bow as well.

Child loses their lesson, as the teacher has made themselves available to teach, so no refund/credit is possible, either.

And yes, I would be really cross if my child’s presumably expensive instrument was borrowed.

It's not 'spare' it would be borrowed so different question really! is teacher BU for not making child A lend child B their instrument.?

I would be seriously cross if someone took my 7 year old’s violin in school. He plays quite seriously and it is not a cheap violin. He has only ever forgotten to take it once and I dropped it off. I would never assume there were spares.

Another child’s instrument is not a “spare”. My parents would have been quite upset if my violin had been loaned out willy nilly to anyone who had forgotten theirs. The parent is BU.

Instrument is inexpensive and most children do not own their instruments, they are supplied by both the school and local music service.

Parent is outraged to the point where they are switching the child to a different instrument and therefore different teacher

As a parent of a child that has been known to forget instrument or lesson or both on a semi regular basis, the parent IBU. It's the child's job to remember and instruments are too expensive to share and risk damage.

Hmm, cross post. Inexpensive and usually supplied by school does change my answer a bit. If they let everyone else borrow a school one, why not that child too? But not another child's own one.

Sounds like the teacher would be well rid!

Instrument is inexpensive and most children do not own their instruments, they are supplied by both the school and local music service."

If there is any insurance, it would surely only cover the original borrower?

In any case, those instruments do not belong to the teacher. The teacher cannot decide to hand them over to another child.

Supplied by the school doesn't necessarily mean they get handed back at the end of the day - other DS was loaned a clarinet for a year, it belonged to the school but he was responsible for it. I wouldn't have been happy about another child using it when l was responsible for it's safe return.

Parent is unreasonable.

If officially 'on loan' to another family they have quite probably signed something saying they are responsible for any loss or damage to it, so shouldn't be lent/borrowed.

Sounds like teacher will be well rid.

In the music lesson at primary kids are told they must bring their own instruments (the one they are borrowing from the music service) to practice on. Those kids' parents sign a form to say they will take responsibility for any damage caused due to insurance.

Therefore if a child forget their instrument, they do not practice. The teacher should not be held responsible for any damage caused by a student who has taken ownership/lease of the instrument, neither for any child that has borrowed it for the lesson from another kid.

As a parent I would expect to pay for damage caused by my own child, but not by someone else's!

Parent is ridiculous to be outraged and needs to learn from this and move on. Parent is at fault and they are laughably entitled to think another child's instrument should have been offered to make up for their own omission.
If parent changes child's instrument, the teacher will be able to take a more committed family for lessons and this will become a tale they can tell while rolling their eyes.