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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Girlfriends dumps son wants money back for holiday

101 replies

shortfamily61 · 24/05/2019 16:29

Sons Girlfriend dumps son via text and wants us (her parents) to refund her portion of a holiday booked for July. We cannot get money back from holiday company and insurance will not payout simply because she has chosen not to come. It would appear from subsequent message with our son that she reservations about the relationship when we were making booking. We cannot afford to pay her back - we do not have her money - we do no benefit from her empty seat on the plain or her empty bed in villa. We have no-one else we wish to come in her place (or anyone who could afford to pay her share).

OP posts:

Pinkyyy · 24/05/2019 19:23

She's had her answer in the email OP. No need for you to make any further contact.

CripsSandwiches · 24/05/2019 19:23

Doesn’t it depend on why she finished with him? What if he did something horrific?
Legally no but morally yes that would change things. If he had cheated or done something that basically forced her to break up with him then although legally I think she'd be screwed If it was me I would tell my DS he should pay her back every penny. It doesn't sound like that is the case here though - she was having doubts for a while.

cuppycakey · 24/05/2019 19:31

No I wouldn't enter into any further correspondence with her.

She has had her answer. DS should block her.

Original poster

shortfamily61 · 24/05/2019 19:58

He did not cheat, he had recently buried his beloved grandfather and went a bit in his shell (but them again who wouldn't) she didn't like that he didn't want to talk about it much.

She dumped him via text at 11:30 pm and then published a notification to everyone on instragram stating "Sorry it had to end like this but if we carried on it would have been toxic". That is not a pleasant and dignified way to break up with someone in my book.

Even he himself said he would have offered her £100 of his own money if she had done it pleasantly and amicably and he is working in a sandwich shop on minimum wage - busting his backside to pay for his first car and all the costs that come with such a commitment.

He also struggled, went without and put aside for his share of the holiday and left himself with barely £20 a week to enjoy anything else. She is in a full time job paying £18k a year with loads and loads of overtime and when he has been unhappy in his job (she knew this), feels even lower when she bragged each week about how wonderful her job was. No wonder he didn't want to talk much.

OP posts:

NunoGoncalves · 24/05/2019 20:01

She sounds lovely!

If she messages again, just remind her that the company gave no refund and you don't see any reason why you should have to pay her yourself. After that, end all correspondence. No involvement, no drama.

Amanduh · 24/05/2019 20:05

She is CF and tough luck to her. I certainly wouldn’t be trying to cancel and rebook things or try to find alternative arrangements in any way shape or form and I wouldn’t give her a bloody penny!

Dippypippy1980 · 24/05/2019 20:06

Oh dear - it sounds like a toxic relationship on both sides. She was braggy (or maybe just very happy) and he was jealous.

Best tHey both move on.

Politely tell her the money has been paid for the holiday and it is not within your gift to refund her. Then say it would be best if she didn’t contact you again as you feel too involved in your sons break up (which perhaps you are 😬)

JingsMahBucket · 24/05/2019 20:19

How much money are we even talking here? I’m not 19 years old anymore but even at that age, if we're talking £300 I would just suck it up if I were her.

Rainbowknickers · 24/05/2019 20:21

I had this with my ex I paid for him to come on holiday with us and the day before he changed his mind about going-so I was forced to suck it up and lose the money same needs to happen here lesson learnt xxx

poopypants · 24/05/2019 20:38

Remind her that the contract is with the travel company and not you. It's not for you to refund her.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 24/05/2019 20:51

Frankly it sounds as if he's had a lucky escape ... you genuinely enquired about money back on her behalf, the company said no so that's that
Not easy I know, but maybe he'd be better off blocking someone like this?

BadLad · 24/05/2019 23:10

Make sure you send her a postcard.

GabsAlot · 24/05/2019 23:35

What is it with people this week and wanting refunds from someone who booked a holiday

its nothing to do with them they just booked it their not the bloody travel agent

user1473878824 · 24/05/2019 23:41

@NightmareDaemon so she dumps the son and ruins a family holiday? Just to get her money’s worth? Aren’t you lovely.

Shortstuff99 · 25/05/2019 07:23

*NightmareDaemon

She should just go on the vacation as planned, if that makes her ex and his parents uncomfortable too bad. Why should she lose out on a vacation she paid for?*

Haha shame you only got one bite with that it wasn’t a bad attempt!

Qweenbee · 25/05/2019 07:29

If she's still asking, having had a copy of the firm's refusal, then she is a CF.

riverislands · 25/05/2019 07:37

I know someone who dumped their partner, asked for the partners holiday ticket (on a very expensive holiday far away) in order to get a refund, "discovered no refund was possible ", but in reality took their new love instead!

BlueSkiesLies · 25/05/2019 07:40

Maybe she’ll decide to still come along... what with having paid for the plane and bed.

That’s not going to be fun for any of you.

TBH I would probably encourage your son to find a friend to come with for a reduced cost, and pass that amount onto the GF.

Original poster

shortfamily61 · 25/06/2019 18:53

LOL - turns out (based on Tweets and Facebook) she is now in a happy relationship with a GIRLfriend. Nearly fell over laughing.

OP posts:

Ringdonna · 25/06/2019 19:16

Cheeky bitch!

Drum2018 · 25/06/2019 19:19

I gather you are definitely not refunding her.

WyfOfBathe · 25/06/2019 19:33

Could somebody else take her place? A friend of DS's, for example? Then she could have her money back and he could have someone to enjoy his holiday with.

If not, I agree with PP. She's lost out.

greenlloon · 25/06/2019 19:34

LOL - turns out (based on Tweets and Facebook) she is now in a happy relationship with a GIRLfriend. Nearly fell over laughing. i must be missing the joke
she paid you money to go on holiday so either she gets a refund from you or you give her her airplane ticket and room in the villa.

honeygirlz · 25/06/2019 19:37

he is working in a sandwich shop on minimum wage - busting his backside to pay for his first car and all the costs that come with such a commitment.

I wouldn't pay her a penny, but describing your son's job as 'busting his backside' is overkill. I was working in a restaurant from the age of 16 whilst studying and paid for my car and 'such a commitment'. If you're living with parents it's not medal-worthy.

ZenNudist · 25/06/2019 19:39

So all sorted then?

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