To not dress up to a themed wedding?

[Enix]

I am going to a friend's summer wedding (rarely see the friend now) and will be travelling there and back on the same day with kids and DH. It is a themed wedding and I have always disliked dressing up. I will also be breastfeeding and don't really want to spend any money on new outfits that won't be worn again for myself and the rest of the family (and outgrown quickly by the kids!) when we all have decent wedding-ready clothes to wear.

Would I be unreasonable to avoid dressing in accordance to the theme entirely or should I do a token gesture (like a small accessory) that kind of nods to the wedding theme? The fancy dress isn't mandatory (says the invitation) but welcomed.

What's the theme?

What is the theme? (sounds horrendous either way..)

Yes what's the theme. A small involvement might be all that's needed.

Ugh. I hate theme shit.

I think having accepted the invitation I'd wear something in keeping with their theme, it doesn't have to be full on, (GoT?)

Grim. I'm all for doing something different to traditions, but let your guests retain a bit of dignity.

If there's an accessory you can easily integrate into a normal outfit and reuse, go for it though. It will convey your feelings better than anything else!

Ynbu.
If it's not mandatory then I'd go with a token/accessory, just as a nod to the theme without going all out. If it's optional I'd guess most people would be doing that any way. I wouldn't totally avoid it, but a little something (ear-ring, broach, depends on theme) would be a nice gesture.

Depends what the theme is (my subtle way of asking you to tell us the theme ). In all honesty, if you don't mind standing out from the other guests in your non-theme attire then I would wear something that's suitable for both wedding and BF in.

What's the theme?

Can you do a hat, hair accessory, necklace or similar on theme?

If all else fails, some cheap fancy dress for the DC? It'd be in the spirit, they might love dressing up and presumably would wear again x

Fucking hate themed weddings/parties.

What’s the theme?

Think Roaring Twenties so very easily done with some cheap accessories for me at least. The theme itself isn't horrendous, just I really hate fancy dress.

I’d go with a small accessory, just to sort of show willing/join in the enforced fun.

I'm not sure why you're even questioning it really. It says on the invite it's not mandatory so they're acknowledging everyone wont want to. Theyve said you dont have to, & you dont want to - ideal. You can guarantee there'll be plenty people there not dressed up

oh, you can do something easily without having to faff - just accessories will do it.

but what a drag for everyone! Honestly, what are these people thinking when they make these plans?

@Redglitter I've never been to a themed wedding so unsure how many people usually join in with gusto re. dressing up! Just wanted to garner opinions as to whether I was being a total bore or whether something token would suffice.

Oh that's an easy one. A bit of cheap black ribbon or lace around your head & attach a brooch to it if you want to push the boat out. You could also do a half-arsed 20s make up look with make up you already own.

For boys maybe just add suspenders to their outfits and call it a day. You don't need to spend a lot of money.

I'd give it a go. I also hate themes (just created expense and work IMO) but 20s is an easy one and it's usually more fun to be somewhat dressed up at a themed party than to sit it out.

It's a pain, I wouldn't like it, but it isn't about you, it's about them.

Surely if you are going to their wedding you will like them enough to make a token effort.

£10-20 on amazon would probably get you all that you need in terms of accessories. I wouldn't buy new clothes for anyone if you had wedding clothes already

Thanks all - I will be off to hunt for some token accessories!

I like the lace/brooch idea and suspenders are pretty cheap so thanks again.

Is the theme, The Great Gatsby?

Themed weddings are a thing now? Combination of my two worst things 😂 (and no YANBU op).

Clogs and shawl, you're from the poor end of the Roaring Twenties, it wasn't all Scott Fitzgerald, and it will save a lot of money!

I wouldn't go...

Will they still want you there if you don’t follow the theme? I know at the weddings I’ve been to, people were told to rsvps only if they could meet the theme ( but these were basic - eg black/white, red dress/tie etc).

Themes are stupid. I'd not have accepted this invitation as it's silly but now you have, you should suck it up.