To not dress up to a themed wedding?

[Enix]

I am going to a friend's summer wedding (rarely see the friend now) and will be travelling there and back on the same day with kids and DH. It is a themed wedding and I have always disliked dressing up. I will also be breastfeeding and don't really want to spend any money on new outfits that won't be worn again for myself and the rest of the family (and outgrown quickly by the kids!) when we all have decent wedding-ready clothes to wear.

Would I be unreasonable to avoid dressing in accordance to the theme entirely or should I do a token gesture (like a small accessory) that kind of nods to the wedding theme? The fancy dress isn't mandatory (says the invitation) but welcomed.

I hate theme, but it would be extremely rude and unkind not to make an effort. It's not about you, you can buy bits on ebay or local selling sites for next to nothing.

The majority of MN seems to buy an entire new outfit every time they go to a wedding (remember the poster who even bought an extravagant new set of make-up and lotion & potions?) so the couple probably didn't think too much about the possible inconvenience.

Accessorise a black or silver dress and you are done,.

@LadyRannaldini 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Clogs and shawl, you're from the poor end of the Roaring Twenties, it wasn't all Scott Fitzgerald, and it will save a lot of money!

See, I am definitely doing a Roaring Twenties themed NYE party this year. So just post anything you want on to me after!

I’m with ChoosingChilli. If the food is a hog roast that would be the royal icing on the disappointing cake for me.

I think a nod in the direction of the theme with hair and accessories is enough.

Great Gatsby is a weird theme for a wedding, if that is the theme of course!

We went to a themed wedding recently. Photographing it was embargoed, no-one was allowed to take pictures to upload to social media. I kept looking around for "Hello" magazine (rolls eyes)

Just make a token effort with accessories would be my advice too.

I was going to say yanbu until I saw it was roaring twenties, I’d be up for that!
Maybe like others have said just a nod to the theme. Headband braces etc.

I wouldn’t see a theme like “20s” as fancy dress as such, I’d just use it as a makeup and hair guide and maybe dress but only if it’s something I have already or like anyway.
And I really wouldn’t bother for ds (5yrs).

Buy toy Tommy guns for your dc. Encourage they to enthusiastically join in with the wedding theme at all times.

Will they still want you there if you don’t follow the theme? I know at the weddings I’ve been to, people were told to rsvps only if they could meet the theme
What? There are people so obsessed with appearances they would rather not celebrate their day with friends than break their ‘theme’? I’d be turning that down even if I loved the theme.

aww It's your friends big day. Its a really easy theme to join in with - thank god its not medieval banquet or superheroes lol.

Flapper head band for you with some long beads. Think Bugsy Malone for the kids. It could be fun

I'd hate it also but to be fair as themes go it's not a bad one.

You could get the 20's vibe with some simple accessories as pp's have said and just give a "nod" to it without spending much.

A headband with a feather in for example and long string of pearls with a simple dress you already have.

I think you’d struggle to breastfeed in a flapper dress. That can be your get out clause if everyone else makes a massive effort. Wouldn’t worry about the kids. So yes, just accessorise.

Check out the Bright Young Things and go as a baby in a pram.

Can you manage to add a few accessories and not have a face like a smacked arse all day? It sounds like your hosts have considered the fact that not everyone will want to, or be able to, produce a whole outfit that fits the theme: they have chosen something fairly easy and made it fairly optional. And, you know, not everyone hates fancy dress: if the majority of their close friends and family like the idea, then it's not remotely unreasonable for them to have gone for a theme.
If you really really really hate fancy dress of any kind, though, you miserable funsponge then maybe you should simply not go, rather than show up and moan and whine all day.

A token nod to the theme will suffice, especially if dressing up is optional.

@ReanimatedSGB that's not fair. OP said she was going to buy some accessories and make a go of it.

If you live to 80 you'll spend nearly 30,000 days on this planet and you're bemoaning dressing up for one of those days ! Just go with the flow. It won't kill you.

Sounds utterly wanky. If you want your guests to dress in a certain way then you pay for it. People want to come and see their friends or relatives get married not participate in a Great Gatsby remake.

Having said all that, long string of beads and you're done.

long bead necklace tied in knot Baggy top sleeveless or long sleeves, fine overlapping (if possible )longish straight skirt - charity shop!

The worst one we ever got was an invitation which includes a bit of the bridesmaids dress material and we were asked to coordinate out outfits using that colour (and it was a very sludgy sage green), expressly NO red/blue/brown/glitter/black/white in outfits.

By the time I'd finished reading that I was already at RSVP: No. We didn't go.

Go with any dress you can bf in plus necklace and headdress.

@weegiemum

You have GOT to be joking. That would have been a big fat NOPE from me, too.

Not a fan of dressing up either but if its roaring 20's its really easy to add some cheap accessories that the children might find a bit of fun and you can easily take them off as the day wears on. think of them as something that you can reuse for world book days. Feather boas, feather fascinators, hat for the males, long beads - all very useful for the dressing up box afterwards. raid your local charity shop.

ps shop in Charity Shop in "posh" towns as you get a better "class" of (junk) preloved (!) clothes :)