To not dress up to a themed wedding?

[Enix]

I am going to a friend's summer wedding (rarely see the friend now) and will be travelling there and back on the same day with kids and DH. It is a themed wedding and I have always disliked dressing up. I will also be breastfeeding and don't really want to spend any money on new outfits that won't be worn again for myself and the rest of the family (and outgrown quickly by the kids!) when we all have decent wedding-ready clothes to wear.

Would I be unreasonable to avoid dressing in accordance to the theme entirely or should I do a token gesture (like a small accessory) that kind of nods to the wedding theme? The fancy dress isn't mandatory (says the invitation) but welcomed.

For boys maybe just add suspenders to their outfits and call it a day. You don't need to spend a lot of money.

Wouldn't that be more appropriate for The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Fuck that I wouldn't be going to a fancy dress wedding

It's a pain, I wouldn't like it, but it isn't about you, it's about them.

Surely it's about celebrating the day with friends and family, not dictating daft terms?

Suspenders (US English) = Braces (UK).

Blimey I was about the suspenders too!

Will they still want you there if you don’t follow the theme

The OP said the invitation says it's not mandatory but would be appreciated

Sounds a result, really. Sensible shoes, a dress that skims over a post baby waistline, a shawl over the top nicked from the baby's cot kids can dress up as Bugsy Malone (splurge guns optional), the OH gets to dress like a Peaky Blinder or Fat Sam as appropriate, so can wear a cap, braces and a smart pair of trousers.

Much better than trying to look conventionally suitable for a wedding, IMO.

OMG are 'fancy dress weddings' an actual thing now!?

I think I'd rather stick rusty nails in my eyes...

We're having a 20s themed party for my Mum's 90th, by coincidence. We're all up for it, but you can do it without going overboard.

Get an elastic headband and fasten a brooch to it with a few feathers. Wear a longish straight dress and you're there. If you've got a scarf/shawl with a fringe, even better.

I would make a bit of an effort though, as it is such a nice thing to do for a friend. Imagaine how disappointed she'll be if no-one bothers.

And for boys, a dark suit (or dark trousers and white shirt) with tie and braces is fine. Slicked hair too, if they'll let you.

Is it a Peaky Blinders theme? Braces and flat caps for the lads; faux fur stole and hat for the ladies with a pretty tea dress if you have one. Job done.

A drop waisted dress and a cloche hat with a string of cheap beads and a pair of Mary Jayne shoes would be suitable for a roaring 20's wedding? You can combine glamour with the theme and maybe even wear the dress and shoes again after?
My sister had a medieval wedding in a castle years ago. I dressed in an old flour sack ( made it myself from some hemp sacking ) and a pair of sandals as i decided on the peasant look. It was one of the funniest weddings iv'e ever been to.

Think Roaring Twenties so very easily done with some cheap accessories for me at least. The theme itself isn't horrendous, just I really hate fancy dress.

I assume it isn't the Roaring Twenties, from that 'Think'. Regardless of what it is, what a horrific idea. Fine for a party where people can stay away without giving offence if they don't like dressing up. Far harder to avoid upset if you're saying no to a wedding because you don't want to turn up in a corset. At least it's optional in this case.

A themed wedding. Blimey. Now you be really heard it all.

If you live to 80 you'll spend nearly 30,000 days on this planet and you're bemoaning dressing up for one of those days ! Just go with the flow. It won't kill you
Well, Vulpine, I tend to set my threshold for what I want to do a bit higher than ‘it won’t kill me’. No, I wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t go to anything involving fancy dress as I hate it. I will not spend a day (or even an evening) unhappy and uncomfortable just because someone has decreed it ‘fun’.