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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why is it always my fault

76 replies

Foalma · 24/05/2019 12:13

Hi everyone so I need some help here please I'm a single mum my child father has nothing to do with them I work full time so I'm always tired but anyway I've met this guy we've been seeing each other a while and he wants us to move in together, the trouble is it would mean me leaving my job and moving my child into a new nursery and away from all our friends and family, I've tried to explain this all to him and asked why cant he move down here as he has his kids at weekends his answer why should I move my kids away from my family but yet he expects me to do it, he says it's me whoa making it difficult it's me who doesn't do anything, it's me who is screwing this up, when I said and u ain't he said no I ain't done anything all this has come become I've been poorly for the last few weeks which he knows I have and so haven't wanted sex, his even gone as far as to accuse me of sleeping with someone else when I'm not with him, I just feel like im rubbish some advice would be great pls

OP posts:
b0bb1n · 24/05/2019 12:19

He doesn't sound like he's worth staying in a relationship with, let alone uprooting yourself and your child and quitting your job for him.

KatharinaRosalie · 24/05/2019 12:22

Dump the loser

alligatorsmile · 24/05/2019 12:22

Jeezo, is it worth it? I think this 'relationship' has run its course, it's not grand romance worth uprooting your life for, is it? He hardly seems worth going to the bottom of the road for.

BooRadley35 · 24/05/2019 12:23

He sounds like he is very controlling. Why should you have to make all the sacrifices? So just because you don't want sex, you must be cheating - what a charmer.

I'd be ending this relationship not considering uprooting my life to move in with him.

comedycentral · 24/05/2019 12:23

Can you not see the red flags flying here? Do not move there with him.

IncrediblySadToo · 24/05/2019 12:23

Advice: dump him

Question: why haven’t you done so already?

user1498572889 · 24/05/2019 12:24

He is a twat. Dump him

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme · 24/05/2019 12:26

He is telling you loudly and clearly that you and your children will never be a priority for him

SleepingSloth · 24/05/2019 12:27

Get rid of him. Jesus, when will women start expecting more?

Ticklingcheese · 24/05/2019 12:28

If he is like this already, how do you think it will be when he has moved you and your dc away from anything familiar/support?

Please don't, keep the relationship as is, if you have to, but please don't move in with him.

DramaRamaLlama · 24/05/2019 12:28

He sounds horrible and your life is going to get immeasurably worse if you leave your job and move away from family and friends.

QueenofPain · 24/05/2019 12:29

This guy is a toxic piece of shit, and if you agree to move in with him it will be the first in a long line of things where the needs of him and his children are always more important than those of you and yours.

I’m not sure I fully understand your post, but has he asked you to move in so you’ll somehow be less tired and therefore able to have sex with him? Moving a vagina in with him for his own convenience and ease of surveillance is not an act of benevolence.

ilovesooty · 24/05/2019 12:30

Your child deserves better than you being involved in this relationship.

ANewDawn10 · 24/05/2019 12:31

You are complaining about him yet you have a choice in everything. You dont have to move? You dont have to uproot your child from her home for the sake of a man?
Dump him, and take some time out to work on yourself.

ArtyFish · 24/05/2019 12:32

My fav phrase here and you should say it to him...

"it's not me it's you"

I am willing to lay money on him having more than one woman on the go at the same time. You're so much better without him.

Aquamarine1029 · 24/05/2019 12:33

You would be insane to stay with this twat. Dump and run.

UnicornBrexit · 24/05/2019 12:33

The drama, ou really whatn this going forward?
Cut your losses now

NCforthis2019 · 24/05/2019 12:35

Jesus fucking Christ - why are you with someone who talks to you like a piece of shit?

Nquartz · 24/05/2019 12:36

Please dump him, definitely do not move for him.

And then raise your standards, he is dreadful.

Starlight39 · 24/05/2019 12:38

I'd ditch him - even aside from the moving issue he sounds a nightmare! Not kind or considerate of you (or your DC in terms of expecting them to sacrifice stability) at all.

I was a single mum with a DC and was pretty fixed that I wouldn't uproot his life (school, family, friends, stability, in my case also his Dad but the outcome would be the same for me if he didn't see his Dad) for anyone which limited me somewhat as meant I basically need to stay very near to where I live now. I met my DP and when we started discussing the future, I explained it to him and he has willingly moved for me despite the fact that it is a massive upheaval for him for job/house reasons. He understood when I said if it was just me, I'd move in a heartbeat but I 100% can't do anything that would negatively impact on DC's stability.

How far would you be moving?

pilates · 24/05/2019 12:38

🚩

PhyllisPearce · 24/05/2019 12:42

Don't take any responsibility for his appalling childish behaviour
Why stay with someone who treats you this way

FriarTuck · 24/05/2019 12:44

Dump the loser
For a change I'm actually recommending this advice.

Amibeingdaft81 · 24/05/2019 12:44

Op get some standards, seriously.

teraculum29 · 24/05/2019 12:45

it's easier to dump him now, than later in the line as this relationship will end anyway.