How much money to give for a wedding gift?

[ssd]

I realise this is all about how much money you have in the first place and how close you are to the bride and groom
I'm asking from the viewpoint of low earners who are related to the groom through marriage
How much to give? I know whatever we give won't be close to other relatives who are well off. Please give me an amount, don't say whatever you can afford.
Thanks.

I have heard that a useful rule of thumb is that the value of the cash gift equates (roughly) to the amount that they spent on catering for you. However, that's for this country - if you start going international it gets complicated!
I think that about £25-30 should be the absolute minimum. Any less than that and it looks really stingy. In that case, buy a small gift instead eg a bottle of bubbly. Again, being overseas complicates this because it will probably cost as much to ship as to buy. In that case, a card (sent in plenty of time so that it can be read at the wedding? do people still do that?) will suffice.

It's probably best to face up to facts. If you tell the B&G that you are not going because you can't afford it (instead of making up some pathetic lie) then they will understand smallness / lack of present.

Thanks. I was thinking of giving £50. This thread has made my mind up. Cheers

I didn't say we couldn't afford to go I just said we couldn't make it. I don't really want to disclose our financial situation to them.

I would need to send a gift so champagne is too expensive, though I will look into that, it's a nice idea. I'm not sure where they are staying though.

I think a gift/cash is very generous considering you aren’t going to the wedding

I agree!

If it’s in Greece can you send say €50 and say sorry to miss it but have a few drinks on us?

I used to always give £20 but haven't been to a wedding in years so with inflation maybe £30 - £50. You are not going to the wedding and while family it doesn't sound like you are close to tbh I would t feel obliged to give them anything. A nice card and maybe if any close family are going you could give them some money to buy the couple a drink on their wedding?

We don’t have a huge amount and So it would feel wrong to spend more on their wedding present than I would on my kids etc. So would probably only give £20. We gave my brother £75. It’s not being stingy, though as it reflects how much we spend of presents for each other too.

We generally give £30 minimum. If it's someone close we give more e.g. £150. Just gone what you can

It is expensive in Ireland. 200euro for good friends and family, it is usually a full day event, it is a lot for us, buying an outfit and usually a hens trip too.
I begrudge wedding invites.
OP if you're not going to the wedding, 50 would be plenty, even 30 in sterling.
When my DSis got married we gave them 400, she got married abroad 10 years ago, flights, accomadation, new clothes, spending money in a posh resort, it took years to recover the costs.
I wouldn't do it for any one again.

In think it’s very unusual to give a gift of money for wedding that you aren’t even attending. The bride/groom would not expect this.
I would just send a card.

If they're close relatives and were attending the full day, £150 as a couple.
If we woulsn't be unable to attend a relatives wedding, e.g. being abroad £40 should do.

I think £50 is very generous. I would probably send £30-40

The average amount we were given was 20

I'm planning my wedding right now and I'm obviously not going to ask anyone for anything but I'd be extremely surprised to receive a gift/money from someone who's not coming. A bottle of wine would be plenty and still unexpected I definitely wouldn't expect £50.

I'm so glad I asked on here I hadn't a clue what to see nd

What if you have a full day invite, it's costing £170 for a night and the bride is slightly unpleasant but marrying your step-brother (and you give it a year - tops). He's already calling her selfish!

I'm of the card thought. We didn't expect people to get gifts if they couldn't make it. We got a few (which were unexpected and welcome) but a card is always welcome. A few people who came couldn't afford gifts/ donation. Which was fine, because we'd rather they were able to spend the day with us, than have to find a gift.

I'm Irish where gifts of money are pretty generous, but I wouldn't expect to receive or give a gift if you're not going to the wedding.

If I'm attending, I tend to give £50.

Just send a card. There's no need for a gift if you are not attending.

I'm wondering if I should send anything at all now?

I think £30-£40 is a good enough gesture in the circumstances you describe. £50 if you really like and know them.

£50 is perfect.

If I was attending I'd probably double that and for close family I'd do a bit more (or offer to buy something particular for the wedding honeymoon).