Posting here as everyone else seems to. The crux of the AIBU (if I had to give one) would technically be am I unreasonable to expect help
In quitting breastfeeding with a bottle refuser?
I have a 16 week old bottle refuser. He seemed to be happily taking them up until two weeks ago and the idea was that I was gently transitioning him to expressed bottles. DH now patiently sits every night trying to get him to take even an ounce from a bottle before I feed but it’s been two weeks of banging our heads off a brick wall.
Nothing is working and I can’t go on doing this. I miss every aspect of my three year old’s life because this one feeds so often (I appear to have crap boobs as first was the same), I am miserable every time I sit down to feed, the let down itself (not the latch) hurts tremendously and I need a break; he sleeps ok at nights but the cost is too great in terms of my sanity.
I fed the first for a year and I hated it and didn’t bond with him until I gave up. At least he took a bottle so I could go to my competitive swim club twice a week and latterly three times.
Spoke to health visitor who said I just needed to suck it up and carry on until he’s six months old but wouldn’t tell me why that helped since I know food is for fun until a year. She suggested therapy and antidepressants but since root cause of misery is breastfeeding not really sure why that would help.
I can’t feed him until he weans naturally and it makes me sob to think about feeding until he’s a year/ over a year/ whatever. I don’t understand all this business of cup feeding since 1. Everything is supposed to be sterilised and 2. He won’t put bottle in his mouth.
I’m supposed to be at an event that really matters to be in ten days and have had to cancel. Supposed to be at a child free wedding that also really matters to me in September, again looking like cancelling as venue not a hotel so hubby can’t squat in a room and I sneak out periodically.
I don’t know what to do and no one that’s supposed to provide advice will help me beyond essentially saying the most important thing is he’s breastfed to six months and stuff my mental health/ marriage/ relationship/ sense of self.
Literally running on empty: no energy, exhausted, no real time for self care beyond a three minute shower each morning, can’t go out as I hate feeding in public, missing out on doing anything with my three year old who I’m sure will stop asking me to play soon. I’m constantly panicked about what would happen to him if I got sick/ had accident/ needed to be away. Want to do KIT days at work as things changing rapidly and want to remind boss that I exist.
**Please be kind, I don’t need any more judgement than I’ve already had from the NHS or myself. I know I’m an awful person for not wanting to continue EBF and being miserable that all he wants is me.
Where can I get good advice? How does one cup feed a four month old who can’t yet sit up?