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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think airline software should not allow a 3 year old to be seated away from their parent?

264 replies

Inkstainedmags · 22/05/2019 22:00

I suppose I'm looking for reassurance as I lie here unable to sleep before a flight. DP, DS (3) and I are due to take a transatlantic flight in the morning. We were unable to select seats when we booked the flight - we suspect because the grounding of Boeing 737 Max aircrafts meant the airline didn't know what craft they would be putting us on. Then, when check-in opened, the airline's website wouldn't allow us to proceed because it couldn't cope with dual citizenship and insisted we needed proof of visas for travel to the country we live in.

When we finally managed to try to check in at an airport kiosk, we found that all three of us are seated separately and there was nowhere for two of us to be sat together. No one from the airline was available to speak to.

Surely the airline has to sort this out, right? As much as I'd love the opportunity to spend a 7-hour flight watching movies and reading books like I used to pre-DS, they can't expect a barely 3-year-old to be sat next to a stranger can they?

AIBU to think that with all the amazing things software can do these days, an airline should be able to force a parent and toddler to be sat together and cope with travellers with dual citizenship?

OP posts:
Smarshian · 22/05/2019 22:03

They will have a duty of care to ensure the safety of their passengers, including your 3 year old. Although I imagine that only one of you will be moved to sit next to him.

BBCBias001 · 22/05/2019 22:04

This is from the UK CAA guidelines. I am sure the airline will sort it because it is a safety issue for all sorts of reasons.

Families, children and infants
The seating of children close by their parents or guardians should be the aim of airline seat allocation procedures for family groups and large parties of children.

Young children and infants who are accompanied by adults should ideally be seated in the same seat row as the adult. Where this is not possible, children should be separated by no more than one seat row from accompanying adults. This is because the speed of an emergency evacuation may be affected by adults trying to reach their children.

Whenever a number of infants and children are travelling together the airline should make every effort to ensure that they can be readily supervised by the responsible accompanying adults.

Justajot · 22/05/2019 22:05

I suspect that someone sitting next to your DS would offer to move, rather than having someone else's small child next to them for the flight.

mummymayhem18 · 22/05/2019 22:05

You will be ok. They will definitely put 1 of you with your child. Happy holiday ☺️

Yellowpolkadot · 22/05/2019 22:05

Have you managed to speak to a human about it yet? I’m sure there will be an override for this

Pipandmum · 22/05/2019 22:07

I’m sure the person sat next to your child will be more than happy to swap with you.

adaline · 22/05/2019 22:09

They have to make sure you're seated together - however that doesn't necessarily mean next to each other, or indeed even in the same row!

Expressedways · 22/05/2019 22:10

I’d get to the airport early, find staff and ask if they can move anyone else around to accommodate. Failing that then ask the crew when you board. I think they have to sit one of you near the 3YO but not necessarily next to them (although this depends on the country). If staff won’t or can’t help you then you’ll have to ask passengers very nicely if they won’t mind swapping- offer the best seat you can e.g. if you offer someone with a middle seat an aisle further forward they’ll be more inclined to switch and a single traveller will be more likely to want to swap than someone sitting next to a spouse. Ultimately I doubt anyone will want to sit next to an unaccompanied toddler so I expect someone will swap!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 22/05/2019 22:11

Talk to the aircrew as soon as possible. No one would actively chose to sit next to a lone toddler (however they might not be able to swap if they are with their own child for example)

sleeplessbunny · 22/05/2019 22:13

www.caa.co.uk/Blog-Posts/Are-you-sitting-comfortably-/

If you are flying from the UK, see link. The CAA guidelines are clear. I expect you will be reallocated seats when you drop your bags or at the gate, but if not then do request it. It's possible you might not all end up together but your child must be seated close to a supervising adult.

Original poster
Inkstainedmags · 22/05/2019 22:28

Thank you all for your swift replies. You are echoing what I've been telling myself but I have anxiety that manifests as catastrophising situations.

We haven't managed to speak to a human yet but are staying at the airport tonight and will be waiting at the airline desk when they open for the flight in the morning.

We aren't bothered about all being sat together and DS is very social and sick of us after two weeks stuck with only us while visiting DH's home country so would possibly quite enjoy chatting with a stranger for 7 hours, but I just can't imagine what sane adult would choose to sit next to a toddler when they didn't have to.

OP posts:
BarbedBloom · 22/05/2019 22:35

I have seen quite a few posts about this so am repeating what I have seen before. Sitting with a child doesn't necessarily mean beside and could be in row behind, in front or across the aisle from. Some airlines ask people to move and some don't. Some people would move and others won't and often depends on the seat offered e.g people wouldn't move to a middle or window seat if they wanted an aisle. Some have said they would just put earphones in and ignore said child.

Just wanted to prepare you in case the airline says the above about behind/in front of. Not sure whether it is always the case though

RosaWaiting · 22/05/2019 22:37

OP I only heard about this from MN because I don't travel and I don't have children

but I was horrified as well - there are so many things wrong I don't know where to start. Not least - why should an adult have to sit next to a child that's not theirs?!

I hope it's easy to sort but if the airline don't want to sort it, the neighbouring passenger certainly will!

SpaceCadet4000 · 22/05/2019 22:39

I took a transatlantic flight (American Airlines) last week and there was a family in almost exactly the same situation. It was sorted out for them so that 1 parent was with the child. At the very least, there's usually a few people who miss connections or business passengers whose flights change to another day.

OKBobble · 22/05/2019 22:40

When you go to bag drop off they will sort it out for you then.

DHhasahobbyanditsnotcycling · 22/05/2019 22:40

If the other adult has specifically booked a window seat or an aisle seat and you offer to swap for a middle seat, they won't want to change either.

If it's a seat of 3, and the other 2 are a parent and their child, you cannot expect them to move.

It's really not your fault, but you should be at the desk as soon as you can and try to sort it out. Even travelling in front of /behind your child is not ideal.

Your main problem is the amount of CF who do not pay for their seat on purpose, expecting others to move. People are getting aware of that and are starting to refuse to swap, and rightly so.

awalkintheparka · 22/05/2019 22:41

We fly to US from UK tomorrow afternoon. Aircraft was up 2 months ago and seats assigned 24 hours before flight and before I had checked us all in. We need visas but didn't need to show proof for airline. Who are you flying with OP? We were lucky and have all been seated together. Can you call the airline?

Jellybabiesarebabies · 22/05/2019 22:41

Don't worry, it will be sorted. They are not going to sit you miles away from your 3 year old. At worst it will be one row in front or behind, or across the Isle. Someone will swap with you without a doubt if that happens, they won't want to be looking after your child.

ivykaty44 · 22/05/2019 22:43

Which airline are you flying with?

deeplybaffled · 22/05/2019 22:45

This happened to us a fortnight ago with Tui. The website spread us all across the plane, but as soon as we came to check in, it was sorted so that my 3 year old was next to her dad.
So it can be done, and as others have said, what other adult would want to sit next to a random 3 year old if they don’t have to?

Gth1234 · 22/05/2019 22:51

I don't think they are permitted to sit a 3yo away from a parent

Original poster
Inkstainedmags · 22/05/2019 22:56

We are flying to Canada on WestJet, who have really top notch customer service so I know I shouldn't be worrying so much. Also, when we booked, premium economy was the most affordable option for some reason so we are in seating with a 2-2-2 configuration (ie no middle seat). Surely what has happened is that everyone who checked in chose an empty row and when faced with the option of swapping or sitting next to my energetic child they will swap if not at the beginning of the flight then after an hour of Paw Patrol role play.

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 22/05/2019 23:00

I would say so yes as there will just be a single person sat next to your child who hopefully will not be bothered by moving to a different seat.
Yes it is worrying but it will be fine. If I was on the flight I'd offerSmile

Original poster
Inkstainedmags · 22/05/2019 23:04

awalkintheparka I think the issue with us is that the computer system couldn't cope with dual citizenship, multiple passports, and entering a country without a visible return flight.

OP posts: