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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP pissed off that I’m pissed off at him - toilet habits

79 replies

LoveRoyalBlood · 22/05/2019 20:11

Just got out the shower & washing my face at the sink.
DP comes into the bathroom, sits on the loo & shits.
If he’d told me I’d left the room.
He’s now pissed off ‘how many nappies have you changed ‘ etc
I just find it disgusting

OP posts:
Rottielottie · 22/05/2019 21:24

Urgh no I would not be having that. That would destroy my libido

Oysterbabe · 22/05/2019 21:26

Grim. I would never cope in a 1 toilet household.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 22/05/2019 21:28

The fact a baby is in nappies means they simply don’t have control of their bowls!!

He’s a grown man with control, unless he considers himself a baby Hmm

It’s frankly Exceptionally Rude

DHhasahobbyanditsnotcycling · 22/05/2019 21:30

I completely understand why it's not possible everywhere, not the point, but this is exactly why I have separate loos and bathrooms.

Your DH is rude.

But even if he wasn't, and was using the loos BEFORE you need to brush your teeth, it's still disgusting. Why is the UK so keen on toilets in bathrooms, I'll never know.

Original poster
LoveRoyalBlood · 22/05/2019 21:31

He wasn’t desperate - no upset stomach he just did it because... I don’t know

I wash my face at the sink because my face wash is there.
I shower , wash face & pluck brows in the mirror

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 22/05/2019 21:31

I can't control poo too well, if I have to go I just have to go.

Well in which case you ask the person already in there to leave for a moment surely?

Dljlr · 22/05/2019 21:33

I rang DP earlier and it was echoey so I asked where he was and got "just having a shit". I hung up. Bleugh.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/05/2019 21:33

Really disrespectful. He should have asked you to leave especially seeing as you had finished. Fine to go in an emergency, especially with diarrhoea.

ReapersHowler · 22/05/2019 21:40

Well periods are just a bodily function that can''t be helped but so is shitting. I think finding such disgust in a bodily function is a bit weird and so did many people on the period thread but when it comes to expelling another waste product (That not all of us can control so well) it's gross?

Everybody poops.

pictish · 22/05/2019 21:41

God almighty. Why on earth did he do that? What can he possibly imagine is acceptable about it?
How revolting.

BarnabasTheMaineCoon · 22/05/2019 21:41

That would make me puke.

Whosorrynow · 22/05/2019 21:44

I think on this occasion this comes into the category of 'dominance behaviour'
I'm the boss and I will shit wherever I like, your sensibilities are irrelevant, my wishes come first

Wallabyone · 22/05/2019 21:44

That is really disrespectful behaviour from another adult. He could have simply asked you to get out for a few minutes. Really weird.

DecomposingComposers · 22/05/2019 21:46

Surely you saw him come in, undo his trousers and sit down? Why at any point did you not ask what he was doing/ tell him to wait while you left?

Did you just watch him sit down and then moan that he didn't tell you what he was doing?

I can't work out how you didn't know what he was doing?

babysharkah · 22/05/2019 21:47

I have ibs, when I need to go I need to go. I would ALWAYS give dh a warning even if it meant he had to jump out of the shower for a couple of minutes. Anything less is disrespectful.

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 22/05/2019 21:50

Yeah I really don't think that's ok, just because if the smell tbh. Once or twice if I've had an upset stomach e.g. I've had to barge in on DH and explain the situation, he just grabs his towel and vacates the area. When I'm done I'll spray some air freshener & open a window (unless it's Baltic) and he resumes his shower. No harm done.

Elena567 · 22/05/2019 21:54

Disgusting!

Also OP I can guarantee you if he was brushing his teeth and you strutted in dropped your knickers and started dropping bombs his attitude would be completely different.
I think (some) men use burping, farting and sh*tting infront of others as a act of macho dominance. But of course women should be ladylike and have such bodily functions Hmm

Bluerussian · 22/05/2019 21:56

Doesn't seem all that terrible to me if you have only one loo.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 22/05/2019 21:57

Why is the UK so keen on toilets in bathrooms, I'll never know

Every country I've ever been to has had the toilet in the bathroom. I don't know why you think its just in the UK?

TemporaryPermanent · 22/05/2019 21:58

Alexa not necessarily, I always used to give dh a bit of a warning if I could but sometimes it was pretty short.

We're all animals.

AfterSchoolWorry · 22/05/2019 22:02

That's revolting

CodenameVillanelle · 22/05/2019 22:06

Doesn't seem all that terrible to me if you have only one loo

Most homes only have one loo. If someone in my family is desperate for a poo and someone else is in the bathroom we knock and ask them to vacate while we go. It takes moments. There is NEVER a need to deliberately shit in front of a partner who has already stated they don't want you to do that. It's vile, dominance behaviour.

AudacityOfHope · 22/05/2019 22:08

It's just going to the toilet Confused

Today don't get all the hand wringing over it. We only have one toilet so we've shared everything over the years Grin

Leftielefterson · 22/05/2019 22:11

That’s really disrespectful OP. My bathroom activities are always kept very much private. An ex of mine always wanted to chat to me whilst I did my business and I always refused. Plain weird.

SerenDippitty · 22/05/2019 22:12

This would not bother me at all. DH sometimes needs to go very urgently as an after effect of cancer treatment he had some years ago.

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