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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WELP my friend is losing her shit

68 replies

Lefty1 · 22/05/2019 19:42

I posted a while back in relationships about a dear friend of mine who had been sent a screen grab from a new Instagram account with a flirtatious conversation. My friend chose to stick by the guy at the time but has since found out he has been cheating on her , multiple times with various girls that she actually knows.

So now she is going bonkers , she has set up profiles of him on various gay dating sites , detailing his number , uploading his nudes to these sites . She’s set up a duplicate Facebook account of him , uploading the nudes , videos , basically everything 🙈.
The latest update I have is that she is on her way to the gay village in our city to air drop his telephone number around with the inappropriate videos .
I didn’t even know what airdropping was until today Confused
I have text and called her repeatedly to say that what’s she’s doing is illegal and she could to prison but she is ignoring my calls and isn’t at home (I assume she is out airdropping in a fury around the gay quarters )
Has anyone managed to successfully talk someone down in a similar situation?

OP posts:
Didntwanttochangemyname · 22/05/2019 19:44

Sounds like it is too late to talk her down. She'll regret her decision once she's had time to reflect, I guess she's going to owe him a pretty big apology and hope he doesn't press charges.

ems137 · 22/05/2019 19:54

As furious as I'd be in her position, what she's doing is awful. Totally fucking wrong!!

She could actually get in serious trouble with the police for all that. I would keep on texting/calling to tell her she needs to remove everything!

Original poster
Lefty1 · 22/05/2019 19:55

I’ve had her ex calling me asking her to stop as he is going to contact the police , he is saying that he’s phone has been ringing off the hook with men wanting to meet him.
I’m really worried about her , don’t know whether to call her mum Confused

OP posts:
TacoTeabagging · 22/05/2019 19:57

She is commuting a crime every time she posts those nude photos of him without his permission and could face a custodial sentence. It can and does happen, she needs to stop now but it's likely too late. If he calls the Police she is fucked.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/05/2019 19:57

Does her ex know what she's doing? If not, I would tell him. He's obviously no prince, but what she is doing is completely unacceptable and potentially very damaging. I would not be able to be friends with a person like her.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/05/2019 19:59

Cross post, sorry. I would encourage him to go to the police. Your friend is seriously fucked up.

TacoTeabagging · 22/05/2019 19:59

X post tell your friend to seek legal advice in anticipation of her arrest. If its her first offence she may get lucky but it is something that is quite hot at the moment and so she should be prepared for the worSt.

Throckmorton · 22/05/2019 19:59

I bloody hope he does go the police - revenge porn is despicable

Sn0tnose · 22/05/2019 20:00

I think you should call her mum. She might be angry with you but if he phones the police, she could easily end up with a criminal conviction and that’s her life; fucked.

Original poster
Lefty1 · 22/05/2019 20:00

The ex already knows as he has been receiving a lot of strange calls and msgs , he has phoned me asking where she is and is rightly furious. 🙈

OP posts:
Original poster
Lefty1 · 22/05/2019 20:01

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of the ex but this is just so bad

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 22/05/2019 20:03

Hopefully the Police are involved now.

Original poster
Lefty1 · 22/05/2019 20:05

I’ve just called her mum and told her everything , I can’t go out looking for her myself as I have my little one at home . Hopefully her mum can talk sense into her. I’ve made her mum aware of the seriousness of revenge porn and that friend could be arrested for it if she continues . She’s never done anything like this in her life , I’m really shocked

OP posts:
SecretMillionaire · 22/05/2019 20:05

If you have mutual friends ask them to try and contact her as well. It may be too late though. Whatever he has done wrong she is absolutely out of order with what she is doing.

MummyParanoia101 · 22/05/2019 20:05

It's Revenge Porn and a breach of the Malicious Communications Act not to mention Harassment and possibly other crimes as well. She needs help

Original poster
Lefty1 · 22/05/2019 20:13

I’ve located her on snapchat map , thank goodness and told her mum where she is , she is at the gay quarters in some cocktail bar and she’s driving 🙈 fucking hell. I hope her mum manages to sort her out. What an absolute nightmare .

OP posts:
Samind · 22/05/2019 20:14

Yeah it sounds as if she's heading for self destruct.

I hope she's aware of how serious an offense it is these days.

Original poster
Lefty1 · 22/05/2019 20:16

She knows that it’s serious as there was an article online about revenge porn that we had actually discussed a few months ago. He is so not worth a criminal record

OP posts:
slashlover · 22/05/2019 20:17

It's revenge porn. I hope she does get arrested.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 22/05/2019 20:19

Sending her mum or a friend out to look for her is the best thing. And I'd send a message saying please stop what you are doing, it's a serious crime, come round to mine now, we can talk about it and try to fix things (or her mum's house if you don't want her coming round all worked up with your DC around).

I imagine the ex is reporting the fake fb page and fake dating pages, so they get taken down. If you do speak to him, I'd advise him to turn his phone off for the night so he's not having all these calls. When your friend is found and thinking straight she can take all the fake profiles down.

What is airdropping??

minou123 · 22/05/2019 20:19

Oh no, she's really lost it. Whilst I can understand her need for "revenge", this is the worst way to go about it.

I dont think there is anything else you can do to help her. It's done now. You did everything you could; it's hard to talk someone out of doing this, because they think they are justified.

CruellaFeinberg · 22/05/2019 20:20

ah well, the police will catch up with her soon enough

HolesinTheSoles · 22/05/2019 20:20

He sounds like a dick but her actions are actually illegal. I would warn her to stop. Not much else you can do.

Purpleneonpinkunicorns · 22/05/2019 20:25

Hopefully her mum gets to her and deals with her, and sorry but even though she is in pain and wants revenge she's acting vindictive and childish and could potentially get into a lot of trouble.

Original poster
Lefty1 · 22/05/2019 20:25

She has just called me and screamed down the phone at me about calling her mum , I told her the ex knows about what she has done and plans to call the police , she then accused me of sleeping with him too 🙈 I cannot deal. I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole. She sounds blind drunk too . Ffs.

OP posts:
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