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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you paid for your wedding?

223 replies

Picklemuncher123 · 22/05/2019 19:40

Fiance proposed to me last August and the aim is to save as much as possible to afford a decent wedding. But it's proving difficult at the moment as other financial emergencies seem to be cropping up.

Did you fund your wedding your selves ? Get a loan ? Parents or family help? How much did it cost in total and can I still have a lovely( by no means big ) wedding on a budget ? Thanks :)

OP posts:
choli · 23/05/2019 11:03

We'll save, and have the type of day we can afford. I hope I can help our children get married though, if they want to.
They can get married without help just as you can. This thread is rather depressing

kaytee87 · 23/05/2019 11:06

@choli what's depressing about the thread?

choli · 23/05/2019 11:15

kaytee87
The number of women whose best day of their lives had to do with a dress, being the center of attention and spending a lot of money rather than an achievement of their own.

AngelaJ18 · 23/05/2019 11:23

Mine cost about 4k including honeymoon. Local windmill for the ceremony & afternoon reception (small venue kept numbers down which helped costs) with a bbq provided by the mills caterers. Decorations were all done by us, the range has a good wedding section and table decorations were vases from ikea. Evening reception was in a local pub with a buffet and disco. My parents paid for the car & the evening do, my in-laws paid for the food at the mill. My dress was from the previous years collection so was half price and my uncle did the photos. Everything was paid upfront apart from the honeymoon which was on the credit card. Simple uncomplicated wedding with very little stress

AliasGrape · 23/05/2019 11:29

We’re getting married in December - got engaged last October, set a budget and have been saving every month since. My parents are dead. His parents kindly gifted us £2000 which was not expected but was a huge help and very kind, though does mean some extra guests his mum wanted there which we’re happy with given their generosity. The total budget is around £6K. That’s given us a nice venue - a country pub rather than anything grand, and enough to cover a decent meal, drinks and a party, plus a reasonably priced photographer.

There’s things I’d have liked had money been no object, but I know they’re not essential and I’m not too fussed really. My dress is from a sample sale, Bridesmaid dresses £25 each in the Christmas sales and they’re lovely. MIL is making the invitations, I’ll either make the cake or get a supermarket number or do without, not decided. We’re doing our own flowers with help from SIL who has done other weddings. I’m staying away from wedding fairs/blogs/magazines because I don’t want to be drawn into thinking I need to spend extra on fripperies. Of course the party/dresses/flowers/photos etc are all non essential but we wanted them so have found a way to do it in a way we can afford. The main thing for us was a family party and making sure everyone is sufficiently fed and watered (though we can’t manage a free bar which I know is a sin on mumsnet but there will be wine and beer and tea/coffee soft drinks provided).

Honeymoon will be a few nights somewhere depending on how finances look nearer the time.

kaytee87 · 23/05/2019 11:57

@choli the thread is specifically about weddings Confused

PregnantSea · 23/05/2019 12:08

We saved for about 6 months and paid for it all ourselves. We had a small wedding and didn't do a lot of the traditional stuff that tends to make it expensive. If you want the traditional bits then it does come with a big price tag so you may end up needing to take out a loan!

floribunda18 · 23/05/2019 12:41

The number of women whose best day of their lives had to do with a dress, being the center of attention and spending a lot of money rather than an achievement of their own.

Did anyone say it was the best day of their life? I must have missed it.

I'd like to think it would be a memorable and very happy day and it was certainly the biggest thing I'd planned by my late 20s so it was quite a big deal. I don't see why the thread is depressing. Friends still talk about how lovely our wedding was. As I planned nearly all of it, it went well and didn't throw us into penury I'll take that as an achievement.

I had run the London Marathon, got a degree, trained and qualified in my profession and tandem paraglided off a mountain before I got married if it makes you feel any better.

Jamesonwhite · 23/05/2019 13:35

Why depressing? That people's parents give them money as a gift? Do you find all gifts depressing?!

Damntheman · 23/05/2019 14:07

We saved for 2.5 years and paid for it ourselves. Cost of ours likely won't help you as everything costs a lot more over here than in the UK :)

You can absolutely have a great wedding on a budget! My sister's wedding was wonderful and I know they didn't have much money to make it happen. Good luck to you!

hellsbellsmelons · 23/05/2019 14:12

We paid for most of ours.
My mum and dad paid for my dress and bridesmaid dresses.
His parents didn't help at all until the evening when his dad kept putting more money behind the bar (bless him)
We had a very low key thing and still spent about £8K - and that was in 1995!!!

MotherOfTheNoise · 23/05/2019 14:33

We saved for 2 years ourselves and it cost 5k. Got almost half back in cash gifts which we used to pay for our honeymoon.

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 23/05/2019 14:37

I'd be wary of borrowing much
sadly, I know someone who was still doing overtime at work to pay for her wedding 6 months after the groom left her for someone else.

HomeEdRocks18 · 23/05/2019 16:50

Both my mum and dad (divorced) gave us £200. Hubbies Mum paid for my wedding dress £99 from ebay and hubbies suit £59 asda. We saved up the rest by working overtime. We hired a church hall and decorated it ourselves. Mil made the evening buffet, M&S sale for the cake, bil borrowed a posh car from work to drive us about, register office for nuptials. Honeymoon with kids in Cornwall for a week £250 static caravan. Total wedding cost £1500. It was brilliant

FluffyTabbycat · 23/05/2019 17:01

500
Registry office
Social club hilarious party
Dress from china (amazing)
His suit from Burton's
Done our own photos
Cake from Costco
We have 3 kids
We love each other for ever more
We didn't need to spend the earth to be happy as pigs in shit 😊😊😊

FluffyTabbycat · 23/05/2019 17:04

Oh then we went away to the lakes for Groupon deal and got granny to watch kids, that cost about 100 if that

BiBabbles · 23/05/2019 17:11

We eloped so we paid for everything, but only paid about ~£200 (this was over 15 years ago so I don't remember exactly) for all the fees at the registrars, travel costs, meal out at a nice restaurant for ourselves and our 3 witnesses, movie and cake. We wore the nicest things we owned at the time and still somehow matched in blues which to this day I find very sweet.

One of our witnesses offered and took some photos that we got physical and digital copies of and, beyond photography costs if she hadn't done so, the only expense I would have added is new shoes, I had someone forgotten that the nicest looking shoes I owned at the time were really not made for walking much. Good photography and good comfortable shoes I think should be a top priority for many situations in life.

1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor · 23/05/2019 17:19

We saved up for it, paid for everything ourselves except for the cake (gift) and a lovely mercedes (borrowed) all on a tight budget of £3000. It was a brilliant day but nearly 12 years ago, it would probably cost more than 3 times as much today though.

MrsDilligaf · 23/05/2019 17:23

We spent £18k and paid for it out of our savings. That covered everything for our three day festival wedding. My parents didn't contribute, neither DH or I wanted them to.

We don't regret a penny of it, because we had a fabulous time with our closest family and friends, and because we asked our guests to travel a considerable distance, we provided a lotof food and drink (and some of the alcohol is still hanging around the house. Campari anyone??)

Cariadne · 23/05/2019 17:46

The number of women whose best day of their lives had to do with a dress, being the center of attention and spending a lot of money rather than an achievement of their own.

Mine was the best day of my life because it was the only day I’ve ever experienced where (almost) everyone I loved was in the same place at the same time, and it’s the day I got to make an intensely meaningful, lifelong commitment to the person I love with all my heart.

I’ve achieved plenty on my own (4 degrees, a half marathon, raised £££££ for charity, competed to a national level in a sport I love) and those all things mean a great deal to me, but none of them mean more to me than the relationships with friends and family that I got to celebrate at my wedding.

I’m sorry if you think it’s just about a dress and some attention - it really, really isn’t.

flowery · 23/05/2019 18:04

"Mine was the best day of my life because it was the only day I’ve ever experienced where (almost) everyone I loved was in the same place at the same time, and it’s the day I got to make an intensely meaningful, lifelong commitment to the person I love with all my heart. "

I came on to post exactly that. How odd to assume that if a woman says her wedding day was the best day of her life she must mean it's because she had a pretty dress, lots of attention and it costs a lot of money! Must be sad going through life being so cynical.

caringcarer · 23/05/2019 18:22

My parent's paid for my first wwedding. A long time ago. Me and second dh paid for our wedding. By this point my Dad had died. In 2005 we spent approx £14k and got married in a castle and had reception in medieval banquetting hall with caterers we booked who cooked and prepared food at venue.

PBobs · 24/05/2019 07:22

@Anchor @choli why sad and depressing? People on here have said that they paid for their own. I wasn't even working - was retraining - and my DH certainly didn't have a cushy job and we still managed to save enough in a year for a big wedding of 150. It was overseas (my home country) but had a full party, free bar all night etc. It's totally doable if you are realistic. We didn't have loads of extras - we had the things we thought would make it a good party and would show our guests how grateful we were that they had travelled to be with us. I don't care what other people do for their weddings. That's their business.

BossAssBitch · 24/05/2019 07:53

We paid for ours but we are mid forties so it only seemed right that we did, we are in good financial position so didn’t need a loan. Wedding was a lot of money but worth every penny. We felt very fortunate to be able to afford to have the sort of day that we did, it really was our dream wedding.

The number of women whose best day of their lives had to do with a dress, being the center of attention and spending a lot of money rather than an achievement of their own

My wedding was the best day of my life, but not because of any of the daft reasons outlined above. It was such a magical day day, and as mentioned above it cost a lot of money, but marrying the best man I had ever met, surrounded by all my favourite people, in a beautiful environment (lakes and mountains) are what made it the best day of my life. So many amazing and happy memories from my wedding day,.

You sound bitter and jealous!

Lelelel26 · 24/05/2019 08:00

We saved, brought a house at the same time. We were lucky to both still be living at home with parents with very minimal rent and so saved a very healthy amount.

Wedding cost around £7k Smile