Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what to reply to this (naturist) painter

104 replies

doesthiseemright · 22/05/2019 16:26

So, I had a painter come around to give me a quote for a refresh of pretty much the whole inside of the house. He had been recommended to me by friends of my Husband and I had been warned that he likes to strip off a bit when it's hot. Little did I know.

We were going into each room and he was making small talk whilst I told him what we needed doing and he asked me if I had any hobbies. I thought this a bit odd but just mentioned a few of my mundane interests and politely asked him if he had any. Turns out yes, indeed, he certainly has a hobby - he is a naturist-- and by the way, he does all of his painting in the nude. Hmm, I thought about this and said "well each to his own" and asked how that works with safety, being in rooms with no curtains etc and was told that he does actually wear socks. He said he sometimes puts up drop cloths and his wife doesn't like him being a naturist so he does it at work.

He asked if it would be a problem and I was unsure of what to say so I said if he was upstairs painting away and I was downstairs out of his way or out for the day, if it made him comfortable and he did a good job then it wouldn't bother me. (apparently, he is very good). I then said I wasnt sure what my Husband would think - and he replied "well, you dont have to tell him. If you don't, I won't"

So I packed him off to write me a quote and let me know. I was thinking I'd just wait for the quote and decide what to do from there. And told my Husband, who laughed. A lot.

Then, an hour later I get a text saying "nice to meet you this morning and thanks for being so understanding about my naturism". I just replied "no worries".

Now, a few hours later I have a new text "would it be possible for me to call around and have a naturist tea break with you?"

er????????????????????????

OP posts:
TinselAndKnickers · 23/05/2019 00:47

They've got to be having you on!

floribunda18 · 23/05/2019 05:29

Half way through painting the first wall and you realise he isn't using a paint roller...

BuildBuildings · 23/05/2019 05:59

This has to be a joke. Either him or you though. You could ask the person who recommended him if this was their experience! Please do I want to know.

doesthiseemright · 23/05/2019 06:32

Absolutely not a joke, from either.

OP posts:
RuggyPeg · 23/05/2019 06:48

You need a boundaries reboot op. Absolutely not ok to have a strange naked man in your house, whether he's painting your house or buffing your grand piano.

MoviesT · 23/05/2019 07:04

Text him back and say you’re not much of a coffee drinker but your husband and some of his mates are keen, his number is X...then block him.

Blueeyesdarkhair · 23/05/2019 07:11

Tell him ‘sorry not for me, but the rugby club / boxing club guys would deffo be up for a naked afternoon tea’ It’s a wind up OP 😂

User8888888 · 23/05/2019 07:22

Your boundaries are shot to pieces given you initially said you wouldn’t be bothered by him decorating naked in your house. The normal response would be to say no and ask him to leave not say yes. I can’t believe it took until the text for you to realise this was dodgy.

Yabbers · 23/05/2019 07:25

Why would anyone say “yeah, fine, and we’ll just not tell my husband”?

Surely most in the real world would immediately show him the door.

RussellSprout · 23/05/2019 07:27

Even if it's not a wind up, time for you to wind him up back.

Say the outside fence needs a lick of paint (street side).

Tableclothing · 23/05/2019 07:32

Charge him £500 to paint your house.

NameChangeNugget · 23/05/2019 07:34

Ask him if it’s a long term thing or does he only intend on sticking it out a little longer?

HollowTalk · 23/05/2019 07:35

I don't believe a word of this.

Tingface · 23/05/2019 07:39

This is either:

a) a wind up by the OP
b) a wind up by her friends, or
c) the most terrifying lack of boundaries displayed by an OP that I’ve seen in ages.

Roussette · 23/05/2019 07:39

I would reply... "don't be so stupid, of course I don't want you in the nude in my house, sod off, you've lost a painting job"

RedPink · 23/05/2019 07:42

He asked if it would be a problem and I was unsure of what to say

Really? That's really worrying and peculiar of you. The fact that you are still so unsure what to do that you've had to start a AIBU about it is weird too. I think you need to sharpen up a bit or you are going to keep getting into difficult situations and while they may provide hilarious stories (for the Daily Fail for example) they may put you in dangerous situations.

. You need to sharpen up.

Do you have kids?

PregnantSea · 23/05/2019 07:44

Tell him you feel uncomfortable and not to contact you again. I would also be pissed off with the friend who recommended him.

motherheroic · 23/05/2019 07:57

'I do wear socks' is making me crack up.

WeWantJustice · 23/05/2019 07:59

Insist he does the glosswork with his knob.

Real naturists don't behave like this. He's a sexual fetishist who thinks he's found someone who will participate in his fetish.

I can understand why you were non committal, because having a bloke in your house telling you he will be doing your painting in the nuddy, immediately puts you on instinctive red alert: you don't want to alert him because he may be dangerous (we don't know which men are and which men aren't before they let us know), so you keep it casual.

I wouldn't answer that text, I'd just block him. And have a word with your friend, you don't know whether this bloke is safe and she shouldn't be recommending him to female friends.

doesthiseemright · 23/05/2019 08:08

I agree @wewantjustice I am just not going to reply and will text when he pops the quote through the door that we won't be taking him up on it. (I think I should do that and then block).

Re boundaries- I genuinely am surprised by myself too. I think I was a bit shocked and just trying to be polite about his "hobby" and didn't really think it through as a real thing that he was suggesting he would do in my house. It was sort of "each to his own" as I directed him out the door. Starting to feel sick now.

OP posts:
notatwork · 23/05/2019 08:09

Let him have naturist tea with your DH. After all naturism isn't a sex thing is it? Or is it in this case?
Can your DH get the day off?

doesthiseemright · 23/05/2019 08:10

As I said above, I am actually grateful in a way that he text me after the visit as it was a realoity check.

OP posts:
Tirednessandmoretiredness · 23/05/2019 08:14

Tho this guy certainly sounds a bit dodgy, my MIL once hired a decorator for her mum who asked if they'd mind if he painted in the nude. You don't live somewhere beginning with 'W' do you? Gran found it hilarious and agreed he could. But he would have done the job clothed if they'd said no, and there were no naked tea parties suggested......

doesthiseemright · 23/05/2019 08:14

@notatwork my Husband is in the house in the day mostly anyway. (He does odd shifts)The painter doesn't know that.

OP posts:
doesthiseemright · 23/05/2019 08:15

@Tirednessandmoretiredness OMG YES!

OP posts: