FB messages - should I contact police?

[Guest8989]

Since last year I have been receiving messages from a woman who seems to want to cause an argument with me. I don't know her well, she's a school mum, we aren't friends and all I know is that its well known she has real issues, violent and most folk avoid her.

Last year she created 2 Facebook profiles, one in her name and one in her boyfriends name. They seemed to have no use or friends and only created with the intent to contact me.

The first message was sent from her, asking how I was and how the kids were. I ignored her.

The next day a sexually explicit message was sent from the boyfriends account asking if I was free to pick him up (don't even drive ffs) Again I ignored it.

It puzzled me but I left it, I just assumed perhaps she was drinking or having a bit of a unstable moment.

Today, I have received another, out of the blue just like the others. Its a new profile, under the boyfriends name but the message is from her, suggesting I am sleeping with her bf and she will be "having words".

I wouldn't even know who her bf was if I was to see him in the street.

This same accusation was made in 2011 when i was pregnant - she confronted my husband in the street, who just laughed about it.

I'm started to get a bit concerned about her state of mind and why the hell she's chosen me to start some peculiar argument. Should I contact the police?

Can you not just block her?

@Jackielaffertyiscold not if it's new accounts each time.

Just keep ignoring but keep all messages. How utterly bizarre. Maybe contact 101 if you're concerned she may act violently if she sees you, but I'm not sure what they'll do at this point.

@Jackielaffertyiscold Yeah I would but each time it's a new profile. The messages hit my filter box.

@EnglishRose13 That's my thoughts, i don't think they can do much at this point but shes unpredictable.

no-one can send me Facebook messages unless I am their friend - check your settings OP.

The police are far too busy with violent crimes to police Facebook as well .
If you don't like what you see on Facebook, don't use it. End of problem.

Are you or her in social housing OP? Not a judgement but me & OH are in a situation with neighbour harrasing is and the police said the best first port of call would be speaking to the housing association we're both under.
If not then like PP said check your FB settings and make sure they're as private as can be. If it escalates I'd ring 101.

@GladAllOver it's not something random the OP has seen, it's a harrassing, private message she's been sent. Why should she stop using FB? The daft woman should stop sending messages.

I think there's a setting where only your friends can send you messages?

If it were some random, it would be less worrying but you know her in person and she is known to be unstable. I would err on the side of caution and get some advice from the police

badlydrawnperson - We all have a filtered messages inbox - I'm not sure any of us can control that one? I've always assumed we cant but it would be good if I can change that, I'll look into it more.

@GladAllOver that really helped, thank you

@ElfridaEtAl Thank you. I don't believe she lives me. In fact I'm clueless as to where at the moment.

GladAllOver

Harassing a person online is a crime. It’s also often the precursor to violent crime.

Harassing a person online is a crime. It’s also often the precursor to violent crime

Thank you @herculepoirot2 , this is exactly why someone who harassed a family member is on bail at the moment.

I don't think you can change the messaging set up on facebook. Messages from friends go into your inbox but then there's another bit - think it's called message requests - where people request to message you, you can say yes or no but the stupid thing is that you can already see their message anyway.

I've had loads of weird / creepy messages that way, so I've deactivated my account.

You can go into your settings. It says "Who can message me?" and you just tick "Friends only".

Having said that, I would definitely report to police for harassment.

I'd tell the police because tbh I'd be scared.

Do you regularly see her at school, Op?

Why should the OP stop using Facebook if she enjoys using it? And tbh will it really make a difference now if she’s already told the op she’s having her next time she sees her.

I’d be a bit cautious that’s she’s randomly fixated on your for some reason and I would take some advice.
If she’s threatening to escalate things by ‘having a word with you’ next time she sees you then yeah I think you have the right to contact 101, as she’s kinda escalated from a friend request to sending explicit messages to threatening to have it out with you in public.
I’m not what the police will be able to do but I’m sure they should be able to point you in the right direction and tell you at what point they will step in etc.

I can't see an option at all for friends only to message.

Change your settings if you can.

And I'd call 101. Might as well log it.

While changing your privacy settings etc is a good start I’d still speak to the police.

My Ex-BIL sent threatening messages via FB to my exH about how he’d put us in hospital next time he saw us, fuck us up etc, I took it to the police and they called him up and gave him a stern warning that if he didn’t stop they could arrest him for using a carrier device to cause harassment and distress (or something along those lines). He stopped immediately when he realised we weren’t going to stand for it.

Definitely worth screenshotting everything, making a note of all dates, and notifying the police. Paper trails are dull and can feel OTT before anything happens, but then are your absolutely greatest blessing if/when it does.

Hugs - what's happening isn't dramatic, but it does get under your skin.

I'm not going to stop using Facebook I am self employed and the majority of my business is generated from there.

It seems that Facebook don't have the option anymore to stop non friends from contacting you like this

An ex friend of mine got in contact with me out of the blue accusing me of all sorts, turns out she was suffering with delusional thoughts due to depression

I would report it, because she could be doing this to others as well. That way, it's on record even if nothing actually happens with it.

It sounds like she's trying to create a narrative that you're sleeping with her boyfriend and that's going to give her a "reason" to harass and intimidate you.
Her reasoning is clearly fucked and this must be absolutely horrible for you.
I would definitely speak to the police, hopefully a quick visit from some uniformed officers will be enough to scare her into stopping her nonsense.

I've just been on facebook.

You CAN'T change message settings.

All my privacy settings are set to 'friends only' for everything, but there isn't a message setting.

In your messages drop down there's a link at the top 'message requests' - and any creepy weirdo can message you this way.

If you think you can change message settings please give me the exact instructions / screenshots to do so. I would happily rejoin facebook if you could get rid of 'message requests'.