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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FB messages - should I contact police?

78 replies

Guest8989 · 22/05/2019 10:02

Since last year I have been receiving messages from a woman who seems to want to cause an argument with me. I don't know her well, she's a school mum, we aren't friends and all I know is that its well known she has real issues, violent and most folk avoid her.

Last year she created 2 Facebook profiles, one in her name and one in her boyfriends name. They seemed to have no use or friends and only created with the intent to contact me.

The first message was sent from her, asking how I was and how the kids were. I ignored her.

The next day a sexually explicit message was sent from the boyfriends account asking if I was free to pick him up (don't even drive ffs) Again I ignored it.

It puzzled me but I left it, I just assumed perhaps she was drinking or having a bit of a unstable moment.

Today, I have received another, out of the blue just like the others. Its a new profile, under the boyfriends name but the message is from her, suggesting I am sleeping with her bf and she will be "having words".

I wouldn't even know who her bf was if I was to see him in the street.

This same accusation was made in 2011 when i was pregnant - she confronted my husband in the street, who just laughed about it.

I'm started to get a bit concerned about her state of mind and why the hell she's chosen me to start some peculiar argument. Should I contact the police?

OP posts:
alwaysthinkingofsleep · 22/05/2019 11:02

It absolutely is worth reporting to the police. Not only should you not have to tolerate it but they should also share the info with children's social care, there are likely to be other issues going in which could be effecting her children...

crazyasafox · 22/05/2019 11:02

@Guest8989

Also going to suggest you call 101. It's for reporting non-emergency crimes. And cyber bullying and harassment IS a crime. However, do make sure you record the evidence by printscreening all the messages and threats. And DO NOT say anything back. Just spend the next few days printscreening their nasty comments and threats.

Don't let this silly bint get away with it. If you do nothing she will not stop. They never do. I have had issues like this in the past; with my DD AND myself, and it was ALSO other mums from the school. The girls of the mums bullied my DD, and the mums bullied me. Mostly online.

They had nothing better to do with their time once the kids started school, so they created drama after drama, and dragged people like me (who, unlike them actually had a job!) into their dramas.

We tolerated the one cunt for about 7-8 months, and her 3 scummy pals who all joined in. (They were 30-35 y.o and behaved like 12 year olds.) After 7-8 months of it, we had had enough. I reported them to the police, and screen-dumped every last threat and vile comment they posted.

I also told the school, as 4 or 5 other girls my DD went to school with were involved.

The girls were pulled up and warned by the school and the police, and the 4 mums got cautions from the police.

It all stopped then. But as I said, I did have the evidence of their behaviour and threats. So don't delete anything. Printscreen it all, and save all the messages, and get a load of evidence so the police can take action.

Good luck. It's a horrid thing to happen, and I feel for you. Flowers

Also, DON'T be bullied off facebook. THEY are the ones who need to leave, not you!

Passthecherrycoke · 22/05/2019 11:04

Have you spoken (in person or
Otherwise?) to her and told her to stop
Contacting you? The police would expect this before anything else would happen

Original poster
Guest8989 · 22/05/2019 11:07

Luckily I kept the messages from last year, I had screenshot to a friend and my husband.

I do think ignoring it won't change things - I completely expect her to continue.

I would maybe understand if there was something that could have triggered this, but its truly been pulled out of thin air and I think that's what makes it all the more disturbing.

Also there is no longer a way to stop strangers contacting you on Facebook, but I remember a time you could!

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 22/05/2019 11:07

Totally disagree with PPs saying to ignore/stop using FB etc. This has been going on for a long time and this woman sounds unhinged. I'd be worried too.

I would call 101. Even if they don't investigate anything they can at least give you some advice, and then something is in record about it.

IvanaPee · 22/05/2019 11:08

I’m assuming OP has to check her message requests if she uses FB for her work.

I hate when people say “just stop using it”.

Social media is literally part of my job.

I would phone the local station, OP and mention it. Also, save all of the messages.

Other than that, continuing to ignore is probably the best way to deal with it.

BrendasUmbrella · 22/05/2019 11:09

"Have you spoken (in person or
Otherwise?) to her and told her to stop
Contacting you? The police would expect this before anything else would happen"

In a case where someone is making threats or at least being intimidating, it's not a sensible idea to go and speak to them. I can't see how the police would advise this.

writerperson · 22/05/2019 11:10

I've just given feedback to facebook on this issue cause this thread has just reminded me how annoyed I am that strangers can contact you.

Good luck OP.

Original poster
Guest8989 · 22/05/2019 11:10

@Passthecherrycoke I haven't spoken to her, I've completely ignored her in person the rare time I have seen her, and haven't responded to the messages because I fear like that would have added fuel to her delusion.

The last time she spoke to me she simply randomly blurted out she had just got out the psych hospital... :/

OP posts:
imablackstarnotapopstar · 22/05/2019 11:10

I would report now. It's been going on for years.

Pinotjo · 22/05/2019 11:13

Iv had something similar, I contacted the police, they took it seriously, person was arrested, ended with a restraining order

Mrsjayy · 22/05/2019 11:18

Contact the police you are being harassed don't open messages if she has a fb profile that is fake can you prove it is her ?

I was harrased over fb by somebody i was in a group with i eventually told her and her fake accounts i had screen shots of the messages and had contacted the police thankfully she vanished and ive not heard a peep since,

Drum2018 · 22/05/2019 11:23

Don't even click on the messages to read them. Leave them there unread and she will known they have been unread so might get bored.

BadBear · 22/05/2019 11:24

People really need to get over this mentality that bullying and harassment on social media are not real. They very much are as they have an emotional and psychological impact on the victim. Technology advanced and we should understand that someone has the right to feel threatened . It's not less real because it's on Facebook

I have actually been to a talk by the police where they explained that they encourage people to take any harassment on social media seriously if they feel threatened. Many of their departments have people who deal with harassment on social media and people can get prosecuted for it. If her behaviour worries you then report it.

Mrsjayy · 22/05/2019 11:29

If she is doing it to you she is likely doing it to others or has done trolling is an offence now.

Mrsjayy · 22/05/2019 11:32

It is frightening being harrased like this people should be able to use their social media safely and happily without feeling threatened.

gamerchick · 22/05/2019 11:37

You can report, the police will take it seriously and will advise. They may go and have a stern word with her or will at some point if it escalates. You'll not know until you ring. They do take cyber stuff more seriously than people think

Original poster
Guest8989 · 22/05/2019 11:38

I don't for a second think she would hesitate in being violent on the school run, she has form.

OP posts:
Notabedofroses · 22/05/2019 11:40

Honestly? I would just come off FB. The police can't do very much given she hasn't actually threatened you outright.

It will quickly become obvious if she is a genuine threat to you, as she will have to find another way to contact you, and if she does that then I would contact the police with copies of the other messages, and the latest one and tell them you would like a restraining order.

Mrsjayy · 22/05/2019 11:40

She sounds terrifying if she is likely to turn on you then contact the police

Notabedofroses · 22/05/2019 11:41

It is a crime, it is called malicious communication offence. If the messages are serious enough, or fall into a pattern they will charge her.

Notabedofroses · 22/05/2019 11:43

If she is mentally unstable and you feel there is good reason to think she will attack you, I would call them for advice today, they will tell you what to do next.

MummyBear2352 · 22/05/2019 11:53

Yes, contact the police so it’s on record.

gamerchick · 22/05/2019 11:55

Honestly? I would just come off FB. The police can't do very much given she hasn't actually threatened you outright

Why should the OP give up Facebook because of one bellend? Hmm don't assume the police won't do anything in these cases. They do.

Original poster
Guest8989 · 22/05/2019 12:15

Coming off social media isn't going to make her disappear.

OP posts:
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