To find this reported conversation with a child rather disturbing, or am I a massive old prude?

[AyeReet]

I don't think it's even slightly healthy or appropriate to be discussing your sex toys with a young child no matter how you dress it up as being progressive or empowering

Am I utterly prudish and Victorian or is that a bit... off? I'm fond of my vibrators but like fuck would I leave them drying in the bathroom or tell my young children what I use them for!

Isn't 'baby' gender neutral anyway? Why have they invented 'theyby'? Is it just to indicate to the rest of us just how annoying and self-absorbed they are, before we get notions of chatting/befriending?

Children shouldn't be told people only have babies when they're 'in love', that's how you end up with pregnant 12 year olds who thought love was a necessary component before getting pregnant

It's also how children who were conceived as a result of an unhealthy relationship end up getting very mixed up.

TBH I think some people who are so keen on being 'open and honest' with children about all aspects of sex (I don't mean basic info) are getting off on it and hoping to arouse their interest.

This is an equally absurd view imo. It’s your job as an adult to teach your children the tools they will need to navigate sex and relationships, and giving them nothing but basic info isn’t sufficient.

You don’t have to talk to your kids about your own sex life or show them your own prosthetics / toys, but your kids should be growing up learning about things like:

• sex for fun (e.g. not for procreation)
• non-heterosexual sex
• consent
• boundaries
• protection
• masturbation

You can’t protect your kids from knowledge of these things until they’re 16 and let loose on the world. And if you aren’t teaching them, you can be sure they’re getting some cobbled together circus of horrors from their friends, the internet, porn and god knows where else.

You can start teaching kids about all of these things in an age-appropriate way from the point they are old enough to ask questions, and if you aren’t doing so because you have some insane idea that teaching your kids about sex is something perverted people do to get off, you are failing your children.

Part of parenting is designating safe boundaries and respecting privacy. Whilst of course I'll always answer questions about sex and healthy relationships, I also want to model that personal privacy is an expectation when it comes to our bodies and sex so I'd not talk to my children about when and how I have sex any more than I'd encourage a child to ask Aunty Sue how she has sex and what toys she has, nor would I be happy for an online friend or stranger to ask my child about whether they masturbate and do they know what a dildo is or whatever. I accept increasingly I come down on the prudish side of the equation but there's reasons I feel this way and like I said its mixed up with privacy and boundaries, an ultimately safety. hoists bosom

There’s a difference between asking your child whether they masturbate (an invasion of privacy), and telling your child that masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do in private, subject to it being done safely.

Sounds like an utter load of horseshit made up for the internet to stir up tensions and hatred and get people frothing to me (the subject and link that is, not the OP(

I agree Cariadne that's why I said it's about personal privacy. "Yes people sometimes use toys" might be appropriate in response to a query but that's different to leaving my own around and saying I'd recently used them to have sex.

@UpTheLaganInABubble

A 'prosthetic penis' that has been used during sex is a dildo ie erect. Showing a child an erect penis is abuse/grooming, whether it is real or not
Really good point if your in male female relationship with children they may occasionally (or frequently)
See Both parents naked but intentionally showing them an erect penis and describing what you did or about to do is grooming and abuse.

AlyssasBackRolls ah, fair enough! Sorry, I misunderstood where you were coming from.

See Both parents naked but intentionally showing them an erect penis and describing what you did or about to do is grooming and abuse

Context is everything, through - there’s nothing wrong with teaching a child (who is old enough to understand) what an erection is. My best friend is a primary school teacher, and one of the resources they are given to assist in teaching sex education is a tabard with a penis on it that can be velcroed to be erect.

That’s obviously very different to showing a child your own erect penis (never appropriate) or describing your own sex life in detail to a child. Those things clearly are not ok, and I assume that’s the kind of thing you mean when you describe grooming and abuse.

I just think we need to be aware of the fact that it’s a parents job to teach their kids about sex, and that no parent is going to accidentally stumble into grooming their kids if they explain what an erection is or show a kid an anatomically correct diagram.

Reading this earlier has played on my mind ever since. I hope it is fake, if not it is truly disturbing. I'm traumatized by the very thought that this could be seen as a normal conversation. It's horrible.

I feel like if this happened they definitely left the prosthetic penis out on purpose, almost to force the conversation out of their kid.
For the record, I absolutely think gender stereotypes are incredibly damaging. Why that means any child has to see their parents sex toy is completely beyond me.

If a 40-year-old heterosexual father was having this conversation with his daughter regarding a sex toy people would be roaring for his testicles on a platter.

I do not care how woke you are. Leaving a sex toy where it might be found by anyone indicates poor judgement and lack of respect for others.

@IrmaFayLear and @SecretWitch have both nailed it.

Whether you agree with the way they are raising their kids or the trans movement, what this alleged conversation details is a total lack of judgement at best, and abuse at worst.

Sadly, I would imagine this is made-up which indicates a desire on the ‘father’s’ part for their child to show an interest in their gender identity. It’s got narcissistic fantasist written all over it.

Unfortunately, I don't think this is fake.

What makes you think it's not fake? I mean, everything you read on the internet is automatically true after all

not

I would put money on this conversation never happening, and that it was made up for internet woke point and likes. Whoever posted it is desperate for a pat on the back and a cookie.

Discussions of 'open frank family discussion about sex' always call to mind the Flowers family from 'Adrian Mole and the Weapons of Mass Destruction' by the brilliant and sorely missed Sue Townsend,

"I don’t know how I got through the rest of the meal. Netta and Michael Flowers talked openly and frankly about their psycho-sexual problem in toe-curling detail. At one point we were forced to listen as Netta recounted how she had pleasured Michael during a Bob Dylan concert on the Isle of Wight. Eventually Poppy stood up and said to her parents, ‘I can’t listen to any more of this filth. You have both put me off sex for life. I hated the way you both walked around the house naked and wouldn’t allow us to have locks on any door.’ The meal ended in tears and recriminations. Michael Flowers said over the heads of the sobbing women, ‘It’s so good that a family can talk openly and frankly about these things, isn’t it, Adrian?’"

I don’t believe a word of it.

Younger child - eeeoooowwwww! Yuk yuk!

Older child - lalalalalalalalalala!!!!! my fingers are in my ears, my mom/dad does NOT have sex, I was left by the stork!

I don't believe that conversation ever happened. Children don't talk like that.

Fantasy. It’s all make believe isn’t it?

Oh I doubt the conversation is true @LimeKiwi - but I do believe some woke fools would leave a dildo out to 'explain' to their child.